Give Bad Advice

[Bhp91126]

@LJay , darlin, you are supposed to come up with a problem, too, so the next poster can give you bad advice.

I can’t sing to save my life

[CellarDweller]

Audition for American Idol! Simon Cowell can give you encouragement.


I'm feeling bloated.

[Bhp91126]

Take a looong needle....

How can I make flatulence socially acceptable?

[CellarDweller]

Oh just do it! Out loud, in public. In an enclosed place!


I don't want to go to bed.

[LJay]

Well then, line up six espressos, wait until they cool and then do them like shots as quickly as possible.

I can't sleep, in spite of a new prescription that is supposed to keep me asleep.

[CellarDweller]

I can't sleep, in spite of a new prescription that is supposed to keep me asleep.

Find a friend to hit you on the head with a big mallet! That works in the cartoons!


I'm being annoyed by the people outside dong the maintenance on the county property, using the large machine to mow the grass.

[seeking]

Burn all the grass, so they don't have to mow anymore !

There are more and more little flies in the apartment. They are partying in the kitchen !

[CellarDweller]

Just put out some fruit on the counter top and let it sit there for a few days. It will drive them away.


I don't want to clean the kitchen.

[Bhp91126]

Then don’t. Any stomach bugs you catch will help you lose more weight.

I’m not losing any weight.

[CellarDweller]

Drown your sorrows with a half-gallon of ice-cream! Do it each night this weekend.


I want vacation to be longer.