Scared of anal

[BlackCat]

Hi everyone, I'm a newbie when it comes to gay sex, but I've been doing it with this guy twice now and everytime he enters me it feels painful no matter how much he lubricated me. I know I suppose to relax, but how? I tried my best but sex always end up in disaster for me and the only person who seems to get any pleasure out of it is the other guy. Have anyone encountered this problem? Also I am very self conscious about my body and penis size, do these factors influence my inability to enjoy anal sex?

[Counselor]

Is he hung? Size plays a big part (haha), as well as foreplay (fingering) and stress (clenching). If he's just plowing away without prepping you with a courtesy fingering, and has a big tool, you might want to make some adjustments in your romping schedule.

[Counselor]

Forgot to mention: position is also a factor. If you are not as much in control (missionary, doggie style) you might consider trying squatting over him as he lays on his back (cowboy, sort of).

[Blue]

Hate to say it but, it is at least uncomfortable and stings slightly the first several times for all of us. Lots of lube (twice what you think you need), good prep and, even using a plug alone will help ease that.

You really do need to relax and, when he enters, bear down, as if trying to have a bowel movement, that makes those muscles open up easier.

That said, not every gay or bi man enjoys anal and, there are a lot of other ways to sexually pleasure each other. It is not mandatory that you like anal just because you are a gay or bi.

[cardiganwearer]

Another thing to consider is that some people just never get on with anal sex. I don't really like putting the idea into your mind, I wouldn't want a throw-away comment on a message board to poison your sex life but it is a possibility.

That said, there's unlikely to be a physical problem that can't be overcome with relaxation, lubrication and the other things that have already been mentioned. The only thing I'd add to the list is patience.

[SolemnBoy]

I'm scared too and I've never even tried it :c

[leer]

Maybe you need to concentrate more on foreplay first as you dont say how long you both spend doing that also fingering does help to relax the muscles down their make sure he has trimmed his fingernails . a small dildo might heplp maybe a latex one as imo its feels more realistic as suggested by others this takes time needs easing up slowly its not a race so take your time I know you have only done it a couple of times but believe me once you get it right its the best feeling in the world .

[Mushroom]

You need to be relaxed and excited so you can loosen the anal rings and penetration could be more enjoyable.

Since you have had two painful experiences I'm pretty sure that the only thought you have on your mind whenever the other guy is making his advances with you for anal sex is a pain in the ass :eek:, am I right?. You know I am. What you need is a little training:muscle-flexing-smil. Here´s what you can do:

Go to a sexshop and search for three things:

1) A butt plug, not so big of course, so you can get your anus used to the sensation of having something inside it.

2) A dildo that resembles a Porn Star penis, I mean, that its material is very similar to the skin texture. This way you'll be able to practice with something more accurate to reality regarding to the sensations. Plus being a porn star penis, it would have a good size and with time and practice you'll be used and prepared to handle almost every boner you find. :tongue:

3) A bottle of water based lube, so you can lubricate both butt plug and dildo.

Practice in private and take your time. One of the benefits of doing it alone is that you decide when and how it's done...you don't have the pressure to please anyone, if you start feeling any pain you can rest when you need it (while in a real sex intercourse you might feel obliged to wait until the other finishes).

A great tip that helps you when you're practicing with a dildo is to be excited; excitment opens the anal sphincters and gets your prostate to feel pleasure whenever it's rubbed with something. A porn movie, a sexy magazine, a creative brain will make the trick.

Always use the lub, and if you can put a condom in the dildo (get used to be protected while practicing).

You don't have anything to loose giving it a shot, and a lot of pleasure to get. You'll feel more confident, your body will be more prepared and won't suffer anymore. The only secundary effect could be that you get so hooked on that you'll never want to see another guy:biggrin:...Just kidding!!!. :tongue:

Just do it!. Cheers and wish you the best of luck

[pellaz]

Debbie Downer says; "i assume you trust him with your life, both of you get tested and stuff"

ask if he will bottom for you?

while your in the shower ( soap free ) insert one/two fingers.
get some toys for your self:

[EvenOlderButWiser]

The only thing I'd add to the list is patience.

And practice

If you decide you don't like receiving anal sex (and as other have said it doesn't make you any less gay if you don't) then adjust your sexual pleasures accordingly.

ObW
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