so, I was on my fake account on fb that i use to find men of my interest in the town, and I dunno why on earth i put my own pic on that account, and my best friend, just sent me request on that, I removed the pic right away and deactivated my account, now i am shaking to death what should i do, I am thinking of lying to him that someone stole it from my actual account(but i never put it on my real account) D: even though I had photoshoped it, the picture was identical
I once came out to him when i was unconscious(out of senses, not drunk though XD)
but I covered it up, but yet he thinks I am gay, and he doesn't like that because he is religious, I don't want to loose him, or should i just stand up and say him that its who i am and loose him? :S
omg I feel so miserable.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
Depends. Do you want to keep friends who like you exactly the way you are or do you want friends who like you for what you pretend to be?
Personally, if someone holds their religious views in greater esteem than a real human being and friend is not someone worth having as a friend.
•
dfiant Wrote:Depends. Do you want to keep friends who like you exactly the way you are or do you want friends who like you for what you pretend to be?
Personally, if someone holds their religious views in greater esteem than a real human being and friend is not someone worth having as a friend.
well, on top of everything, the one I pretend to be, is the one I am, I don't like to be open about my relationship and orientetion and yell it to the world about it, its just plain stupid. so I don't want to loose him, and he just knows everything about me so he will guess everything right. lol he is best can't loose him, D:
•
The best part about "coming out":
You discover your TRUE friends.
Best wishes.
•
Mitch Wrote:so, I was on my fake account on fb that i use to find men of my interest in the town, and I dunno why on earth i put my own pic on that account, and my best friend, just sent me request on that, I removed the pic right away and deactivated my account, now i am shaking to death what should i do, I am thinking of lying to him that someone stole it from my actual account(but i never put it on my real account) D: even though I had photoshoped it, the picture was identical
I once came out to him when i was unconscious(out of senses, not drunk though XD)
but I covered it up, but yet he thinks I am gay, and he doesn't like that because he is religious, I don't want to loose him, or should i just stand up and say him that its who i am and loose him? :S
omg I feel so miserable.
Hold up. What would bring him to look at that profile anyway?
The reason I point this out is that unless you bring it up, he might have no idea it was your alias. If he does know, then he must have a reason for looking at it in the first place. No reason to panic, but if he brings it up, I recommend honesty. You don't have to be if you don't feel comfortable, but remember that you may have to deal with the truth with him later. And maybe he will surprise you, people are unpredictable.
•
Counselor Wrote:Hold up. What would bring him to look at that profile anyway?
The reason I point this out is that unless you bring it up, he might have no idea it was your alias. If he does know, then he must have a reason for looking at it in the first place. No reason to panic, but if he brings it up, I recommend honesty. You don't have to be if you don't feel comfortable, but remember that you may have to deal with the truth with him later. And maybe he will surprise you, people are unpredictable.
well, I recently added someone who I think was mutual friend with his, I didn't know that, so maybe facebook recomended him my profile, and he could know that it was me in the picture because
1. He had seen the pic in my phone,
2. He knows I can use photoshop to change color of cloths so
3. He will be so sure that its me because we talked about the cloths and my surroundings in the pic
I dunno why I am making it a big deal D:
I hope he just clicked on ADD friend by mistake. lol
•
The definition of a best friend really should be imo, "someone who loves you exactly as you are, and always understands even if they do not agree"
It sounds like your BF can't do that. Sorta like having a car that can't take you places. Why keep it? To sit in?
If your best friend would do something so sneaky as to friend request you, instead of talking to you about it, then he is passive aggressive anyway, and who wants that kind of person in their life? It's just my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt, but I would come out to him, and if he says anything other than "who cares, glad you're being honest, want to go grab a beer" ditch him and be thankful that you moved on in time to find your real best friend.
My best friend is great. She is amazing, and even when I do things she doesn't agree with, we talk it through, and the same with her. She doesn't always do things I like, but I am always there for her when she needs me. I hope things work out with you and your best friend.
Good luck...
•
It sounds like an awkward situation, Mitch, one that could have been avoided if you had been a little more careful with the editing of your profile. I don't really understand why you put up the picture that you put up if you could be recognised. It's always a risk that someone you know will find you on the Internet. I suspect that Facebook made a suggestion of your fake account to your friend because it knows your connections, or because you didn't clear some cookies from your Internet browser. You've got to be careful with that.
If your friend already knows that you are interested in men, and you have discussed it, then he knows and he's just being quiet about it because 1) he doesn't like it and possibly 2) he wants to protect your intimacy.
Honesty would always be the best policy with a real friend, but in this case, I suggest you are more careful when you start up a new fake account. No photos!
•
Hello,
I personally from my own beliefs think to myself enough is enough because the most important person in my life is me... Things we do in life we do for a reason some are the test us some are to test others but everything happens for a reason... Now the big question is... Is he a true friend? If so he will stand by ya and be acceptive of you as a friend and if he isnt then maybe he wasnt someone worth knowing... I know religion is used as a weapon against gay people but really does it have to be??? Its a way people can hide behind something that no one knows the full facts about half the time... l would say just be yourself and be honest and then if he chooses to be a proper friend he will stand by ya  ... Lying will only create a continual web of lies and this could result in a damaged friendship because if one of my friends lied about something id ask what else are they lying about?
Kindest regards
Zeon x
•
I'm an enemy of providing personal information to someone I don't want to, whether is for peer pressure, blackmailing or barefaced curiosity:mad:. Your personal privacy is one of the most valuable things you got  , and you have the right to decide who can know about it and who can't. No one has the right to demand explanations of your private life. Just because he happens to be your best friend (or at least you think he is) doesn't mean that you have to share everything with him  .
If you don't want to tell him the truth because you fear of his reaction and he dares to ask you about this issue I think you should play stupid, change the topic or drastically deny it was you. If he tries to push you so you can spill the beans, you can simply tell him politely that you don't want to talk about the topic, and if it's adamant you could state that he's your friend and you appreciate him, but there are certain things and topics that are very personal and you prefer to leave alone in the box of intimacy. The goal is not to trick him to believe you're heterosexual (since he might suspect that you're actually gay/bisexual), but to stress the idea that whatever the truth is, it's your own business and he has to keep himself away from it. 
You said he's a religious person. He must have reasons to be like that, maybe because his family's tradition, perhaps he feels identified with his religion values...whatever. If he profess it it's because he decided, no matter which one is the predominant in your town/country. Not sure if you're a religious person, but I'm sure you don't go pestering him with questions about his personal beliefs, do you?. You don't say him what should he do or what should he believe in. The religion he follows is his own business, right?. Well, so your sexuality and how do you live it. You deserve the same level of respect regarding to your sexual orientation. If he's really your best friend he should be discreet and quiet about that topic. 
On the other hand, I think you could use more security steps while using your fake FB account; reactivate it, don't put a personal image and restrict the access to all the information: don't allow anyone to post on your wall, don't let anyone to see your friends, only allow access to your friends, etc. I'm not surprised that your friend found you, since FB has the stupid and disgusting practice of suggesting contacts. Maybe your friend didn't mean to spy on you, but he saw your image and he just wanted to have you in his contact list. If you didn't have any information that could have hinted him to guess why you opened another account, you shouldn't be worried. If you're not prepared for the public to find out about your sexual orientation and whereabouts, be discreet. 
Oh, and if you really want to be honest because that way you'll feel better, you can prepare yourself first with information so you can try to talk to him and confess the truth. It would be wise to search in the forum for threads about coming out, so you can know what you're about to deal with. Also, if you pick this option you should be aware that he could be supportive or simply reject you, no matter how nice you're as a person. Coming out of the closet with another person is not a simply task, it requires time and strategy. :biggrin:
In conclusion: Relax, pretend nothing happened, if someone ask about the topic evade it politely, mark your limits or get prepared to reveal the truth. Oh, and don't forget to be careful with your personal information!!!.:tongue:
Greetings and best of luck!. 
•
|
