I know the word snob has a very negative connotation and perhaps I am using the wrong word to describe myself. I don’t believe I am a snob, as the word is defined as a person who believes that some people are inherently inferior to him for a variety of reasons. I consider myself to have a good taste and like good things (food, restaurants, bar, clothes, etc).
I consider myself someone open-minded, I can adjust to any environment and I genuinely enjoy it, I love when there is a variety of options and in my opinion that’s what makes things special. I can be at the nicest restaurant and the next day eat at the ugliest food truck that has the best food. I don’t necessarily consider myself a snob because I can see more than there is. I don’t close myself to the opportunity of going a a bar or restaurant if is not in a nice area or if is not cool enough. I know people that would not even make the attempt to try something new just because they have no interest.
I am saying this because I sometimes feel like a snob in the gay community, why? Because when I go to gay bars the majority of them are trashy/tacky and though I enjoy going to them, is not a nice environment. People do not take the effort to make it a nice place, it feels like they just open a place where there’s music and alcohol, and they know all the gays will come. I wish there was more of a variety of places, in my opinion they are all very similar and not sophisticated at all. I have talked about this with my closest friends and they agree with my perception about gay bars, I am not sure if they would be considered snobs too but I think it’s more of having options rather than wanting to go to “nice†places.
what do you guys think?!
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You sound nothing like a snob. You sound like an open minded person who just appreciates diversity, unique opportunities.
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You're in San Francisco, there's possibly no better place in the world to open a gay bar that does exactly what you want. You and your friends say you'd all go there, we'll call that market research! This suggestion is obviously a facetious one, running a bar isn't up everyone's street.
There's nothing wrong with wanting the best and appreciating nice things or places. The aspect that turns that into snobbery is the desire to exclude people from those things on arbitrary grounds, usually economic. If the attraction in a thing is that it is good and you like it there's no problem aspiring to it. If the attraction is solely or even partly that the thing is unavailable to others, then that constitutes snobbery.
I occasionally pay a lot of money for good seats at the opera, I would derive no more pleasure from it if there weren't cheap seats. There are cheap seats and I'm happy to know that by buying the expensive seats I'm subsidising them a bit. If it's something I'm not very enthusiastic about, I'll be in the cheap seats myself. Naturally I'll buy three of them so I don't have to sit next to any riff-raff (only kidding).
There's nothing wrong with pursuing and paying for quality. It gets snobbish when what you're really paying for is to exclude others and that's where the value inheres. Anyone with an interest in economics might want to look up Giffen goods, which are goods that are expensive for no other reason than that they're expensive.
This post is brought to you with the help of our friends at Cartier suppliers of vulgar and ostentatious gewgaws since 1847.
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You know, one man's trash is another man's treasure.
Snobbery is very relative and depends on the company you keep.
I've been to a couple very nice gay bars. I've also been to one that featured fat ugly cross dressing wanna-be disco divas.....
Blah....
What a drag (pun intended).
But the crowd I was with loved it.
In that case, I was the snob.
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im fat and ugly o lets go to a very nice gay pub. and in the pub with very nice peple. dont worry abot it.
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you are basing this on bars and clubs?
Hmmmm...ok
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Bars are designed for drunks. Drunks tend to fall over, puke up on the floor, some even crap and piss their pants.
Few bars (gay or straight) are going to have wall to wall carpeting, exotic wood paneling and be excessively clean.
SOMA bars used to be all leather crowd, those were really grungy. But then were else could you go for cheap beer and step into the back and watch guys getting blow jobs or watch other interesting (purely educational) sex acts take place?... Yeah in those bars the floors are extra sticky.. if you know what I mean.
The hole in the wall was my personal favorite, dirty, grimy, unwashed leather men and very very cheap cocktails that that cute scarey bartender would make super strong just for me (no he never made it pass first base - did I fail to mention he was scary?). A trough for a urinal, lots of mirrors on the urinal wall, and on more than a few nights a person laying in the trough wanting to be, um 'watered'. And he would drink your piss if you asked nicely.
I do not know if the Elephant Bar On Castro and 18th is still there, but it was a very clean place, large windows and predominately playing to more gentlemanly (read older too) guys. (A quick search reveals it burnt down).
I think your expectations for a bar is a bit high. Unrealistic considering what a bar is used for (excessive drinking, excessive spilling and dropping of drinks, perhaps dancing, sex, puking, whatever - fun stuff).
Now there are lounges, most serve food as well as alcohol. Unlike a bar there is a bit more decorum.
I suggest you go to a few of those bars during the off hours (when there is only one or three customers) and ask the bartender what goes on in a bar and why its 'grimy'.
Or become an alcoholic, erm I mean "student of bar~ology" and go out every-night, drink to excess and see what happens.:tongue:
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Nothing wrong with being classy and wanting that of your world, but not every place can be like that. Bars and saloons are not classy places. Clubs and lounges might suit you better. About the only upscale bar you will find will be in a high end hotel, then it's more a cocktail lounge than a bar.
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I personally do not see you as a snob, but that is my opinion.
Are you familiar with Venn's diagram?
You should try using them to come up with the answer you seek.
That being said , any place where there is alcohol and horny men , no matter in which neighborhood , you will find promiscuous behavior.
Have you thought about changing venues ? Coffee shops are a good place to up things.
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