"Cheaters always get caught"

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Thanks for all the responses, but these two kind of hit a nerve for me.

The "signs". You guys have apparently experienced the "signs" first hand.

Care to share any of them? The slight changes in personality? The things that got "explained away"?

Working later than usual, going to work earlier - I came to find out after we were break up that he really wasn't doing all that over time. However I suspected it because funds continued to remain tight.

Secretive Phone Calls - just sometimes the company's business is soooo secret that you can't even have conversations in-front of your partner. Thus your "boss" calls and you have to go outside to conversate.

Minor panic with your partner picks up your ringing phone to hand you your phone.... After all he might see who is calling and have questions.

Sudden changes in appearance. If you partner is really finky about is hair being cut in just such a way, and then suddenly he is changing his style, chances are he is 'improving' his appearance, not for you... though.

Suddenly having to spend the night in the city every other Thursday night because his boss needs him to come in early Friday. Worst is the Friday night stay over at the last minute because somebody has to be there at some God awful morning. No matter the office is closed Saturdays.

Lies, mixed up 'stories'. One lie is never enough... one must continually tell more lies to cover the previous lies because lets face it, most liars do not know how to lie effectively. A guilty mind finds everything to be a sign of guilt, so the guilty person will lie over non-related crap just because they thing everyone knows that X means B.

Oh this last also applies when you are in the closet. I think we have all been there, we always are double checking our behaviors and working over time to present a 'truth' which isn't actually true. The same fear of being caught causes a cheater to do the same thing.

Sudden disinterest in sex with you (never mind they are meeting up with a least ten different men a week or month, sex with you is just to hard.

[bluefox4000]

This may sound cynical.....but Monogamy is not in our DNA. We are sexual being. And deep down we like the thrill of a conquest. We just do the best we can, lol. Every single day we fight temptation.

Mick

[Blue]

Another thing to watch for, new friends that come around and seem too standoffish with the cheater suspect. Yes the cheatees, over compensate too.

They minimize the browser every time you look their way when they are online, or otherwise make sure you don't see what sites they are on.

Active profiles on dating or hook up sites.

And, the real kicker, the one my ex pulled on me - they stop hiding it and bring the strange home.

Okay yes he was loyal until I was put on insulin and couldn't drive truck with him any longer but, when I was driving, we were together 24/7 so he didn't have the opportunity to cheat on me. I still wonder if he would have been loyal had we not been team drivers. Probably not.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

This may sound cynical.....but Monogamy is not in our DNA. We are sexual being. And deep down we like the thrill of a conquest. We just do the best we can, lol. Every single day we fight temptation.

Mick

And that minor fact is why it is such a big deal.

Monogamy wouldn't be important to people if it came naturally.

Monogamy vowed and held true is a demonstration of our evolved sense of 'love' and commitment. It tells your partner that you want more from them and for them than just sex.

It is a sacrifice to be monogamous for most people. That makes it special, that makes a relationship feel like its more.

[bluefox4000]

And that minor fact is why it is such a big deal.

Monogamy wouldn't be important to people if it came naturally.

Monogamy vowed and held true is a demonstration of our evolved sense of 'love' and commitment. It tells your partner that you want more from them and for them than just sex.

It is a sacrifice to be monogamous for most people. That makes it special, that makes a relationship feel like its more.

Well said.

Mick