Nerves and apprehension
01-13-2013, 07:32 AM
So, heres the thing, been in a ldr with my boyfriend going on 13 months. He's from WA, goes to school in WY, and I live in IL. So we've been trying to meet up, no dice so far. Let me just go on record and say this isnt a casual relationship by any stretch of the imagination. We talk every moment we're both awake, whether it be via text, phone call, skype, messenger... we share EVERY THING with eachother, no secrets. We talk about our plans, whether it be for the day, the week, the month, dreaming about our future... we do it all. I'm having a hard time imaging how you could have a more solid ldr. So anyway, that leads to this...
I recently quit my job of 1yr & 11mo, and figured "why the heck not". I'm making plans to move there, like in as little as a week - 3 weeks. So he seems excited about it, but I get mixed messages sometimes... like, on a regular basis he randomly asks "so when you moving?" Or "when are you gonna be here?". But other times (normally when im expressing my lack of optimism about getting a job) he's like " you have to get a job" or "you dont realize how much you *need* a job". Which I know both those things. I guess its just hard to show when I have such a negative outlook. On a positive note, WY unemployment rates are half that of IL and there are tons of open positions, so I've applied to nearly 50 with more on the way. Here's where it gets hairy...
He's in a dorm (college freshman) and while he says I can stay with him a bit, there are rules that prohibit it (limited number of nights). Now, idk if he plans on breaking those rules or what, but I am counting on having to spend time sleeping in my truck. What sucks about that is theyre in the coldest part of the year with the coldest months coming up, with negative temps and windchill into the negative 30s. Idk if I can survive that. Im on a budget (only have like 1500$ maybe up to 2500$ depending on my tax return) and part of that has to pay truck payment and insurance, and fuel, which ill have to idle a lot to stay warm. So there goes like 400$ to get there and 300$ a month in payments.... so as you can see my money will dwindle quickly. And thats not even accounting for food (though I suppose I could lose a few lbs, so eating sparsely should be fine) so im probably in 500$ a month at least... there goes feb, march, april.... personal hygiene will be an issue, as truckstop showers are like 15$ so bathing will be an issue...
Idk what to do. Im naturally pessimistic so im worried about what will happen if I run out of money, dont get a job, have no food or shelter, stranded and homeless in the dead of winter...
Not even sure what im asking advice for. Guess I just wanted to put it all out there....
My feet are cold and its only 36* outside, and im in a house, under blankets.....
I recently quit my job of 1yr & 11mo, and figured "why the heck not". I'm making plans to move there, like in as little as a week - 3 weeks. So he seems excited about it, but I get mixed messages sometimes... like, on a regular basis he randomly asks "so when you moving?" Or "when are you gonna be here?". But other times (normally when im expressing my lack of optimism about getting a job) he's like " you have to get a job" or "you dont realize how much you *need* a job". Which I know both those things. I guess its just hard to show when I have such a negative outlook. On a positive note, WY unemployment rates are half that of IL and there are tons of open positions, so I've applied to nearly 50 with more on the way. Here's where it gets hairy...
He's in a dorm (college freshman) and while he says I can stay with him a bit, there are rules that prohibit it (limited number of nights). Now, idk if he plans on breaking those rules or what, but I am counting on having to spend time sleeping in my truck. What sucks about that is theyre in the coldest part of the year with the coldest months coming up, with negative temps and windchill into the negative 30s. Idk if I can survive that. Im on a budget (only have like 1500$ maybe up to 2500$ depending on my tax return) and part of that has to pay truck payment and insurance, and fuel, which ill have to idle a lot to stay warm. So there goes like 400$ to get there and 300$ a month in payments.... so as you can see my money will dwindle quickly. And thats not even accounting for food (though I suppose I could lose a few lbs, so eating sparsely should be fine) so im probably in 500$ a month at least... there goes feb, march, april.... personal hygiene will be an issue, as truckstop showers are like 15$ so bathing will be an issue...
Idk what to do. Im naturally pessimistic so im worried about what will happen if I run out of money, dont get a job, have no food or shelter, stranded and homeless in the dead of winter...
Not even sure what im asking advice for. Guess I just wanted to put it all out there....
My feet are cold and its only 36* outside, and im in a house, under blankets.....
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