01-20-2013, 06:10 AM
Hello everyone, I just wanted to share my update with everyone. I am in the closet and I have been taking steps in my life to prepare myself for coming out to my parents. I started out by contacting some old friends from high school who I know are gay. After earning each others trust I told them about my self. I love having them there for me and who can relate to me. Well about a week ago I made the decision that I was going to tell my oldest sister about me. I made plans to go visit her, since she is two hours away. I wasn't sure exactly how or when I was going to do it but I made up my mind that it was going to get done. Well we were sitting down having a deep conversation about her breaking up with her boyfriend and she asked me if I could keep a secret. She went on to tell me some things about loaning money and stuff but anyway. I felt her trusting me with that secret was my queue to say something.
I started breathing hard. I had never felt so nervous in my life. She asked me what was wrong. I asked her if she could keep a very personal secret and if she was sure she could trust herself with this secret. She agreed and was very anxious to know what it was. I kept trying to just say it but the words wouldn't come out. My heart was beating a mile a minute and I was literally stuttering. Meanwhile she is jumping to conclusions asking if i was in trouble with the law or something. haha I said no of course not. ....The thing is.....I'm.....I'm gay! At that moment everything went numb. She asked me several times if i was joking. Because I do joke around a lot. But I assured her that I was serious, but for some reason couldn't stop laughing. I laugh when I want to cry. She kind of sat there with a blank stare and told me she was fine with that. She said she was flattered that I told her first. And she still loves me. After a couple minutes she started asking a few questions. The main thing she was unsure about was if I was certain, how did I know she asked. I told her I was inexperienced straight or gay. But I have no sexual interest in girls, just guys. I explained that the same feelings she gets for guys is the same for me. After that she just went back to normal. We went eat supper with some of my friends afterward and she was very cool about it.
Anyway I'm sorry for the long details and believe me I left out a lot. I just wanted to share that with whom wants to read it. After i get my financials back in order I will tell my parents also. One step at a time. At least now I have a family member that I can talk to about it and share my thoughts. It is such a relief to have someone who supports me. I will post more as more comes along.
I started breathing hard. I had never felt so nervous in my life. She asked me what was wrong. I asked her if she could keep a very personal secret and if she was sure she could trust herself with this secret. She agreed and was very anxious to know what it was. I kept trying to just say it but the words wouldn't come out. My heart was beating a mile a minute and I was literally stuttering. Meanwhile she is jumping to conclusions asking if i was in trouble with the law or something. haha I said no of course not. ....The thing is.....I'm.....I'm gay! At that moment everything went numb. She asked me several times if i was joking. Because I do joke around a lot. But I assured her that I was serious, but for some reason couldn't stop laughing. I laugh when I want to cry. She kind of sat there with a blank stare and told me she was fine with that. She said she was flattered that I told her first. And she still loves me. After a couple minutes she started asking a few questions. The main thing she was unsure about was if I was certain, how did I know she asked. I told her I was inexperienced straight or gay. But I have no sexual interest in girls, just guys. I explained that the same feelings she gets for guys is the same for me. After that she just went back to normal. We went eat supper with some of my friends afterward and she was very cool about it.
Anyway I'm sorry for the long details and believe me I left out a lot. I just wanted to share that with whom wants to read it. After i get my financials back in order I will tell my parents also. One step at a time. At least now I have a family member that I can talk to about it and share my thoughts. It is such a relief to have someone who supports me. I will post more as more comes along.
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Virgo
