The first kiss... what if it wasn't welcome?

[jsprplc2006]

I've been out 3-4 times with this guy over the past 3 weeks. We did the whole hand-holding/cuddly thing at the two movies we saw together. I'd like to kiss him, but he's not very easy to read.

So what happens if you kiss someone (i.e. slowly enough they have time to back away; I'm not going to just pounce on him) and they back away, say they aren't ready for that, etc. (I should add that I knew this person as a "friend" for a good year before we started dating 3 weeks ago, if that makes a difference.)

What's likely to happen? Am I back into the friend zone forever, or is it a teeny misstep that I shouldn't worry myself about?

Help!

[MisterTinkles]

Heres some suggetions:

1. Look at him and say "Im gonna kiss you now, so if you have any problems with that, tell me now".
2. Kiss him on the cheek without giving notice, and see how he reacts.
3. Give him a quick kiss and then lick your lips and say "Mmmmm, cherry flavored boyfriend, yum".
4. Look at him and say "Im gonna kiss you now", then do it.

Since you've dated this long, he's probably just as nervous as you, wanting to go to the next step.

Id go for a quick little "peck" kind of kiss. At least you "broke the ice" that way, so if he feels the same, Im sure he will kiss you back, then you can have your long kiss goodnight.

[jsprplc2006]

Those are some surprisingly attractive and original ideas, MisterTinkles, thanks!

I may have to try some. The only thing that sucks is we're both college students, and we both live with our parents, none of whom approve of homosexuality. So finding a nice private place for a first kiss may be damn hard.

Not to mention it's cold as hell right now where I live.

PS - A quick "peck" on the cheek or the lips? I'm not sure which one might be better.

[jsprplc2006]

Thanks, those are some very original suggestions!!!

I especially like that first one... it seems strangely hot. Anyone else agree, or is that dumb?

PS - A "peck" on the cheek, or the lips?

[Counselor]

Or tell him to kiss you.

[jsprplc2006]

I really like the first idea - the "I'm coming, be warned" sort of thing. I know this guy pretty well, and he might appreciate that little 'dominant' twist, but it still gives him a not-sooo-awkward out if he doesn't want to. Fingers crossed though...

Two follow up questions:
1. Were you recommending a peck on the cheek, or the lips?
2. How "alone" should we be? The only FULLY alone time we have is in a car, with the centre console between us, as we both live with our families, and it's winter in Edmonton, so we don't want to hang around outside too long. The most private situations we usually get are in staircases, or lesser-used hallways in the University campus' buildings. More commonly, there'll be 10-20 students within a 10-metre radius of us... paying no attention to us, but still... there.

[Beau]

Another vote for a peck on the cheek.

[Geminize]

You should def not worry about it. I agree that a kiss on the cheek is a good start. If he responds and it goes beyond that, go for it!