I have known this boy for the past three years and we have always been close. We are both involved in theatre, so of course there is the stereotypical gayness factor, however he dated my best friend for two years, and she is a girl. They were very serious, but eventually broke up. He went away to college two years ago however, and we lost touch. I guess he wanted to forget the break up and anyone who reminded him of it. We talked now and then, but it was not the same. For the past few months we have talked to eachother and he decided to come back home and again and finish his schooling back in town. We are starting to hang out again, and we are even closer than we were in the past! I am so glad to have him home again, but there is one problem. I think I am falling in love with him. I recently came out of the closet this New Year's Eve on Facebook and I have gotten nothing, but support, from him especially. For months we had been talking about going out to the movies because we both love horror movies and wanted to catch the new Texas Chainsaw. This is where I started getting confused. The way he talked to me after I came out, was as if he was flirting. He bought me my movie ticket as a coming out gift, drove, sang to me in the car, and even held onto me and touched me during the movie. I swear it was a date, but throughout the whole night we were talking about him and his relationships with women. I was very thrown off as I thought we were on a date, but I guess we were not. I could catch him taking glimpses of me out of the corner of my eye and he sang so nicely to me, it was so perfect. I swear he was going to kiss me when he dropped me off, but instead he looked into my eyes, hugged me, and I walked away. I felt so loved, but so confused. That is not all. That very night we were texing and talking about how great it was to start seeing eachother again and what a great way to start the year off, rekindling friendships. He even invited me on a road trip with him, but while talking about taking one of my other best friends on a date. Again, I was so confused, as he asked me to take a trip with him, but asked my advice about my friend. Fashion advice, date advice etc. Almost like he is just a very friendly person, but I swear it's more. He constantly talks about women, but insists he is not gay. He compliments me, treats me well, takes care of me, loves me for who I am, but I feel like I am being led on. How do I face this problem? Should I ask him about is sexuality? Should I kiss him? Should I tell him the truth about me liking him? Please help. I love him as a friend, but I think I might be falling IN love with him. He is such a great person.
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We can't tell you if your friend is gay or not, its something you'll either have to learn naturally or ask. If he insists he isn't gay just be a good friend and take him on his word, he may just be very comfortable around you as a friend. I wouldn't go for a kiss because you could potentially ruin a good friendship if he feels your intentions are that other then friendship (assuming he is straight).
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Hey again and welcome, Trevor,
My straight best friend was always very touchy feely. He became more so, and even flirtatious, when I came out to him. However, the man loves women, and I get no vibe that his touching and flirting are anything more than good fun from a friend. From what you've posted, it sounds like your friend could be either way, or maybe even bi or anything else in between. But since he says he's straight, assume he's straight unless he ends up saying otherwise.
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Awww pal, sounds like a really sticky intertwined situation, I was in a similar situation myself last year (guy has girlfriend, I get girlfriend, we both split up with our girlfriends, he comes out, I come out to him, we get it on, he tells me i'm not attractive, now we don't talk)
It could go either way for you, maybe someone with more experience in this area will have a better answer
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First of all, the idea that the description of a person's behaviour can make someone identify his sexuality is pretty flawed. After I came out, loads of straight guys started acting kind of flirty and even touchy (which terrified me) but it never ultimately meant anything. They were just fooling around I guess.
Although, your description of this person makes him seem like a wonderful guy. If that's true he won't react strongly if you calmly share your feelings with him?
It's possible that he's in denial, but I'd say it's more plausible that he's simply straight. There's no way of knowing without asking though 
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I agree that your friend may or may not be interested in more than a friendship with you. It's too hard to tell by what you've shared. He may just be glad to have a close friend and be a physical person. He may be confused himself, and wondering what it would be like for you two to be a couple.
As close as you sound, I'd say bring it up. Let him know you're getting mixed messages and maybe you're just interpreting him wrong. I bet you can do it in a way that won't freak him out. Either way, he sounds like a friend worth keeping. Good luck with it!
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Thank you all for your responding!! I should have worded it differently and asked if he was bi, but most of you talked about that poissibility. I have asked several of my friends who are also friends with him, and they have told me to be honest. He has been around gays since he started doing theatre and has even been accused of being gay himself. When we went to the movies many rumors started that we were out on a date and he was not upset, but just taken back. He told me that if he were gay he would date me, jokingly, but still odd. I just want to sit him down and tell him that I have developed feelings for him due to his great personality and somewhat flirtacious ways. I just want him to understand, but I am still nervous that he would be upset or something. I think he would understand, due to being at a 70% gay men performing arts school, his roommate was gay. I want to be subtle and just say that hanging out with him has given me these feelings and I cannot control them, but I understand if this puts strain on our friendship, we are REALLY close. He tells me everything and supports me like crazy. I know my situation is very confusing, especially to me, which I was I made an account to see what all of you with experience think. I appreciate all of your feedback and hope to recieve some more. Thanks!!
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I'm not judging him either, I don't care what his sexuality is, that does not matter to me. I do care however if he has feelings for me and whats to start a relationship. That is why I am asking. I have always suspected, but this situation furthers my suspecting.
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Hello,
Loving him as a friend is the best way to be to be honest in this situation and set aside your other remits. Dont allow your feelings to get too deep because lets face it at worse his comfortable in his sexuality and a friend is worth more than a partner can be at times because if he was gay and you got into a relationship with him i dont know if it would be possible to get friendship back... Unless he comes out the closet assume his straight with the women talk anbd just be really good mates...
kindest regards
Aunty Zeon
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My clue was when he said "IF I was gay". Gay men use the phrase "SINCE I'm gay".
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Is he gay? *PLEASE HELP*
