Believe an old gay man ... A gay life is great and beautiful... you just have to be YOU ...live your life... not the life what others think it has to be your life.
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Rumble, I hope it's just a good night's sleep you're in need of. Whatever it is, sleep on it anyway.
As to advice, what everyone else said. Not a disease, therefore not curable; will get terribly complicated if you try to pretend to be straight and so on and so forth.
Things will get better, they have been better for you. I always like reading your posts, your vigour and enthusiasm and, dare I say it, naivety, are the sort of things that leave me thinking that I really should have been a parent.
You're also pretty resilient, a couple of weeks ago you got a good kicking in a thread about some sort of anatomical issue (if I recall correctly). Your behaviour there was an example to us all, you took the criticism and modified your views, not because you were bullied but because you were thoughtful. A lesser man might have gone away to sulk.
It's probably that same thoughtfulness that's getting you down now and it'll be that same thoughtfulness that'll get you out of it. Were you not looking to study abroad? It's going to seem like a long time in the future but the future always comes along eventually.
You are well able to be cheerful, I've read your adventures posted on here, a cavalier attitude to risk delivered with a breathless enthusiasm. You're clearly stark staring bonkers. You should embrace that, it doesn't last forever and you've got that thoughtfulness thing to fall back on to keep you out of serious trouble. Look at some of the problems people bring to this board, situational, medical, emotional, many of them look systemic and have to be managed but won't ultimately go away. I'm guessing that you've got none of those and that your problems are to do with circumstances. Circumstances change; you're just a bit miserable at the moment. If I'm right your problems will go away, they haven't had time to dig in and make the deep cart-tracks that constrain us as we get older.
You're gay in a conservative culture which has a strange and somewhat ambivalent attitude to being gay, so I think I can understand why the idea of sex with a woman is coming from. Would it be normal in Turkey for men and women your age to have sex? It might just lead to more trouble without addressing your immediate situation at all. If it won't cause more problems, give it a go. It's a fine and noble thing and you might like it. I always encourage heterosexual sex on the grounds that it takes two of them to make one of us (joking aside, you really don't want to make anyone pregnant).
Up to now your ability to be cheerful about your situation has something we can all admire. Your ability to navigate in what must seem like shark infested waters has shown a combination of fearlessness and genius which would make anyone proud. Don't let yourself be blown off course by short term circumstances.
Trying to be straight will only make two people unhappy instead of one, and keep them unhappy for a very long time. What you're going through now will get better, if for no other reason than that you're young and a hell of a lot happens and changes at your age, often without your having to do anything (I was really hoping I'd be able to say something without having to say "you're young", it's very patronising I know, but it really is a valuable asset).
It's a cliché but this too will pass. From where I stand I see a young man in a conservative culture, from a religious background (I may be wrong about that) who was until a few hours ago coping magnificently. You've come this far, nothing worth having comes easily and most people eventually get to meet someone who lets them know in the very nicest possible way that they're well worth having.
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i don't have much to add to what other people have already said
you can't "cure" your sexuality . it's not a sickness ~
and women do not exist so that confused gay men can pretend to be straight . if you get involved with a girl in an attempt to hide / change your sexuality , you'll be hurting her as well as yourself . it would be a very selfish thing to do ~
there's nothing wrong with who you are
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Rumble88 Wrote:I know there are lots of gay people like me and i really don't want to hurt anyone. But. Somebody said that maybe i should have sex with a woman. And i am okay with being gay but being straight would be much more better you know. About everything. Its.. i am really really tired and i don't want to talk much. Its just.. tell me if its possible please. I am willing to do.. anything.. just.. fix it.
Hello,
Being gay is not a disease and it is something that you can fight but you wont find happiness... You know whats made you you is whats made a hetrosexual man the way he is. Having sex with the sex your not interested in you may not feel comfortable and may end up finding it a lot of unhappyness especially if she then falls pregant and you get stuck in a ruck and so on. I would recommend maybe stop listening to what others can tell you because what they say and what they do aare upto them... If they think you should have sex with a woman just answer every question with why?.. You are the way you are mista because your a unique person like everyone else who is here the way nature made em regardless what boat u wanna float in....
PERFECT
kindest regards
Aunty Zeon x
Gayspeak agony aunt
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Thank you all so much. If i meet any of you guys one day, i have infinite hugs for every single one of you. I am living anyway, its just, an idiot comes up and tells me ''you can change that, let me help you'' and i am.. just being stupid. Enough with the other people's crap, no more whining or crying because there is nothing to be sad about. I am not gonna be polite to people who doesn't deserve it anymore.
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dfiant Wrote:Is it? I think I would actually find it rather difficult living a str8 life.
Lol, well yes, a gay man living a straight life would be more difficult.
But actually being straight and living a straight life comes without the anxiety and intolerance us homos have to deal with.
Both lifestyles have their challenges, but one is more widely accepted than the other and doesn't face discrimination.
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You know what I don't get? People sayin' being straight is Easier......it isn't. Straight's not easy, Gay's not easy, bi's not easy. It's LIFE that's hard. But ya do your best.
Mick
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straight people don't suffer because of their sexuality (although heterophobia is still a thing , it's obviously not as blatant and difficult as homophobia , generally)
but that doesn't mean being straight is easy. straight people have problems , too . straight people are abused , betrayed , hated , hurt , neglected , etc , just as much as anyone else is . just because it happens for reasons other than their sexuality does not mean that their problems are any easier to deal with than a gay person's.
like bluefox just said , it's life that's hard ~
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Rumble88 Wrote:Thank you all so much. If i meet any of you guys one day, i have infinite hugs for every single one of you. I am living anyway, its just, an idiot comes up and tells me ''you can change that, let me help you'' and i am.. just being stupid. Enough with the other people's crap, no more whining or crying because there is nothing to be sad about. I am not gonna be polite to people who doesn't deserve it anymore.
You are not stupid. But if someone tells you what will make you happy, they are the one with the problem.
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As bluefox4000 says, its life that's hard and not what comes with being gay. You can run away from yourself for as long as you like, but you'll never escape who you are. Live your life and try to ease up on the worry about how you think you look to others, don't let them dictate your actions in life.
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