A Russian in America
01-31-2013, 08:16 AM
In honor of The Americans coming out (haven't seen it, only heard about it) I thought I'd share one of my favorite jokes that a Russian (who lived in Soviet Russia during the Cold War) shared with me about a Russian in America:
Jimmy Carter was visiting Brezhnev in Moscow and was being shown the sites. "This is wonderful!" said Carter, "But all the drunks! There are so many drunks! You really have a problem with alcohol in this city."
"There are drunks in the U.S., too," said Brezhnev peevishly.
"Yeah, but not like this," replied Carter.
"Well," said Brezhnev, "Then you wouldn't mind that when I next visit you in your city if I shoot any drunks I find."
"Sure," answered Carter.
Sure enough, Brezhnev finds himself visiting Carter in Washington DC. After meetings, Brezhnev tells his driver to drive around the city looking for drunks. They soon find a man stumbling along the streets nearly falling over. Brezhnev orders one of his servicemen to shoot him, which is done, and they drive on. They come across another drunk hanging onto a lamppost, and he's shot, too. Another drunk lying in an alley is also shot. And so the night goes until Brezhnev gets bored and returns to his suite.
The next morning, Brezhnev spits coffee out as he reads the headlines:
MASSACRE AT SOVIET EMBASSY! RUSSIAN DIPLOMATS FOUND EXECUTED THROUGHOUT CITY!
Jimmy Carter was visiting Brezhnev in Moscow and was being shown the sites. "This is wonderful!" said Carter, "But all the drunks! There are so many drunks! You really have a problem with alcohol in this city."
"There are drunks in the U.S., too," said Brezhnev peevishly.
"Yeah, but not like this," replied Carter.
"Well," said Brezhnev, "Then you wouldn't mind that when I next visit you in your city if I shoot any drunks I find."
"Sure," answered Carter.
Sure enough, Brezhnev finds himself visiting Carter in Washington DC. After meetings, Brezhnev tells his driver to drive around the city looking for drunks. They soon find a man stumbling along the streets nearly falling over. Brezhnev orders one of his servicemen to shoot him, which is done, and they drive on. They come across another drunk hanging onto a lamppost, and he's shot, too. Another drunk lying in an alley is also shot. And so the night goes until Brezhnev gets bored and returns to his suite.
The next morning, Brezhnev spits coffee out as he reads the headlines:
MASSACRE AT SOVIET EMBASSY! RUSSIAN DIPLOMATS FOUND EXECUTED THROUGHOUT CITY!
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