The "Gay community" is SAD.

[AeMr]

Hello, been a long time since I've posted anything but I have A LOT on my mind. A lot of things have come to my attention especially today.

But let me get into the topic... I'm Andre btw, I'm 19 almost 20, but who cares?

Anyways, what I'm have to talk about is "gay culture" and why it just repulses me. And I'm a gay myself. So no homophobia here, just certain things I see in the gay community that just really bother me.

First off. Appearance: It saddens me to see how shallow and basic some of us can be. Here in Atlanta the scene is horrible and how well a person is treated is based on their appearance. If you fit in to the categories of twink or athletic, or whatever stupid fucking sub-category then you are put on a pedestal and are praised. AND for what? For being fucking attractive. It's crazy. A few weeks ago I was so infuriated when I seen this skinny gay guy putting another gay guy down for being fat. It really pissed me off. Who was he to talk down to him because of how he looked? The dude was practically in tears and what made it even worse NO ONE said anything! Not a single word. I admit I didn't say anything either because it wasn't my business and I was all the across the room from them. But this bother me A LOT. If it isn't hard enough to be accepted as gay, now you have to be accepted in the gay community as well. This is sad.

Another thing that bothers me, Attitudes: Never in my life had I seen people be so pretentious towards another. It's almost like putting a room full of women in a room together and the "prettier" ones click and judge and criticize the less appealing or average looking guys. I've experienced firsthand when I went to a gay club with my friend (and he wondered why I never go to gay clubs). Why must we categorize ourselves, as if we aren't categorized and ostracized enough by people of the non-gay community. Judging other gay people for what they have, their status quo, and appearance makes us just as bad.

Lastly, I don't understand why masculine is femininity is SUCH a big deal. Some of us are more butch and some of us are just queens. It doesn't matter. At the end of the day were all people and whether some us like to play football or wear foundation, NO one has the right to judge or criticize the next person. Personally, I'm pretty straight-acting but I don't have a problem with more feminine guys. I don't really have any gay friends at all and not because I don't want any. I just can't really relate to a lot of the gay guys here in Atlanta. You either have really flamboyant guys or discreet guys who want to appear straight as an arrow. It's like they don't mix and there isn't an in between. It's either or, which I don't get. I'm still kind of new to really starting to get out in the gay scene more but from what I've seen. I'm not sure I want. I'd rather be the gay friend to all my straight friends who never judge me and love me the way I am then be categorized twink, bear, otter, or some stupid fucking name.

At the END of the day, we're GAY. but that's all I have to say. I just really had to vent and I couldn't keep all this too myself. Haha. But feel free to comment and tell me how you guys feel and what are some of your experiences. mile:

And incase anyone wonder if I have a face. Well... I haven't posted enough to post a picture. O__o

So here's my instagram: AhhMrr
also here my Twitter if you care, I'm pretty nice: @AeMr

[Jay]

Hello Andre.

First off. Appearance: It saddens me to see how shallow and basic some of us can be. Here in Atlanta the scene is horrible and how well a person is treated is based on their appearance. If you fit in to the categories of twink or athletic, or whatever stupid fucking sub-category then you are put on a pedestal and are praised. AND for what? For being fucking attractive. It's crazy. A few weeks ago I was so infuriated when I seen this skinny gay guy putting another gay guy down for being fat. It really pissed me off. Who was he to talk down to him because of how he looked? The dude was practically in tears and what made it even worse NO ONE said anything! Not a single word. I admit I didn't say anything either because it wasn't my business and I was all the across the room from them. But this bother me A LOT. If it isn't hard enough to be accepted as gay, now you have to be accepted in the gay community as well. This is sad.

Andre, my apology if this sound rather harsh. Please don't see this as a personal attack but a discussion.

Do you realize that you could have made a change for something that you really dislike? You dislike superficial and judgmental treatment within gay community, right? You had the opportunity to practice what you preach. But you did not.

I honestly feel like the meaning behind this issue fades away when you stated that, "It wasn't my business." It was your business as this issue does bother you.

I do not expect you to march and maul that skinny guy. But you could have approached them and said something. Something that could make them open their eyes. Better yet, invite the victim to have a meal together with you.

It only takes one step or one person to change the world, Andre.

[pellaz]

sad or not
in a more accepting environment you would see a more better diverse gay population.

i really like what the OP said:
......I don't understand why masculine is femininity is SUCH a big deal
so
relationships can be based on similarities or differences. close you eyes and fill in the blanks about your life with someone you love. Two people can add up to more than just 2.0

[Lalo]

Hi Andre,

I would like to tell you that you are 100% completely wrong about the gay community. Unfortunately, I can't. Many of the things that you have pointed out are weaknesses within our own community and a lack of acceptance of people who are different. But Jay makes a very valid point, and that is that nothing will change unless people step up to change it. The kind of situation that you described is bullying, and it is horribly wrong. Bullying destroys people by destroying their feelings of self worth. People your age are especially succeptible to it. But YOU have to be the one to stop it, Andre. Join an anti-bullying campaign. I belong to one and you can find it here: http://www.standupfoundation.com/ But the most important thing that you can do is to be brave enough to be who you are. Bullies get away with being bullies because we let them. When someone is getting hurt, silence...not speaking out, is never the right answer. Throughout history, the greatest crimes against humanity have been committed because people have not spoken out when they should have. So, I hope that you find it within you to stand up for someone the next time that you see them being hurt.

Finally, although I agree with you on many aspects of the gay subculture, especially its fixation on youth and beauty, it is also important to recognize that these types of prejudices are not just within our community. In fact, they are a reflection of our larger society. In other words, society itself can be a bully. Straight society is no better than gay society and has all of the same flaws.

The only way to make things better is to be open about who you are and to speak out when you see injustice. I wish you the best of luck. None of this is easy. But being true to yourself is the greatest reward.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Hello AeMr.

Lots of words, and lots of anger in your post there Mr. to the real world.

I think the issue here is that its pretty much all true. Whats also true is that there is nothing you can do about it, and the sooner you accept and get over that, the happier you will be.

You really have two options here in my opinion:

1. Stand up and fight for what you believe in, and in the process alienate yourself from the majority of the gay scene and get very depressed while doing that.
2. Accept it for what it is, and if you don't like what you see, don't go on the scene.

There is more to being gay than going out on the scene and finding your sexuality being defined by a bunch of very vocal, handbag carrying scene queens. Find your own niche within the gay world and be happy, after all life is too short....

ObW
x

[Rumble88]

I don't know about atlanta but here in Turkey, at the lgbt meetings im going, people are really friendly and welcoming. Even if someone says something offensive they are just trying to say a joke or something like that and make people laugh about it. There are any types of person at the meeting and we're just getting along and more than that i made great friends. Nobody said anything towards how the other person looks (including me) except giving small compliments like ''your hair looks great'' or ''you look beautifull''.

[Zet]

I agree with you to some extent. The few gay persons I've meet in person in my hometown has unfortunately been to artificial, shallow and be incredibly egocentric. But that does not determine the whole community... Many tries to hide behind a barrier because they don't want appear weak and hence why being something to the extreme, but that alone is not only a gay quality. Everyone simply is different individuals. After all... I've meet so many great friends on this forum, and no one is alike

[bluefox4000]

Well I can only say this.....from experience now.....Every group has it's Fuckin' idiots. Yes, some gay people are outright pricks. But I know just as many wonderful ones. Idiocy runs in ANY group.

That's all I can add.

as far as appearance goes. Have you gone to school with teenage straight girls? Oh murder, lol

MIck

[cardiganwearer]

I think you may be conflating some notion of a gay community with the commercial gay scene.

The commercial gay scene is no different from the straight scene, it's a meat rack with added dancing and drinking. It's not a community in any sense other than that people go there and spend money (they also get laid, which is why they put up with it). If you don't have money and/or you're not good looking you're fucked (not in the sense you'd like to be).

There may well be no gay community as such, what reason have gay people to form a community? Our interests are no more or less varied than than those of the straight community and straights form communities based around other things, interests or geography, not their shared sexuality.

That we do form communities and a board like this thrives is a surprise to me, but much is about things only tangentially connected with being gay. It has the advantage of being cheap and you don't have to look your best to post here. (If you're interested I normally wear full evening dress to post, as I assume everyone else does).

Being a sexual minority gives us a community interest and we stick together as best we can but as the world adjusts that community should wither and die, it'll be become redundant. There's a considerable way to go yet and the commercial scene, conservative as it is, has it's part to play.

You'd best make use of that gay scene you dislike so much while you're young because the thing it really does well is hate old people, like anyone over forty. I'm 137 next birthday (in gay years) and I haven't ventured on the scene for more than 15 years now (straight years).

[AeMr]

I've been reading some of your replies and a totally agree. I'm sorry about to angry undertone. I was just venting so I might have been a lil mad. mile: