what does it feel like to be bottom.

[Geminize]

My bf and I are both versatile. When we spend a night together we never know who's going to end up where. As far as I'm concerned, that's part of the fun. I can enjoy both, and I'm not into pain.

I agree with the others here: to enjoy bottoming you need to trust your partner. You have to be able to relax and be ok communicating in the midst of it, even if it means slowing him down or stopping altogether if it's not feeling right. If he's worth sharing your bed, he will be willing to listen and create pleasure for both of you.

[hank]

Bottom, Top, I sort of feel it is what is in the moment. But I also feel that being a bottom can be risky if it is not done right. So whether a top or a bottom, TIME IS YOUR FRIEND! so do not rush it. So many guys like to think it is a race or someting. As the cable guy says, "GIT-R-DONE." But nothing beats taking it slow and easy. As for toys, we never tried any. I have no idea what that would be like.

If not done right? How do you do it right?

Also I tend to be much larger just all around than any of my potential partners, I never have had anal sex either way. I fear that I may hurt them, I was close once with a really sweet guy but i didn't know what I was doing. By the time I got comfortable I lost my erection, couldn't get it back. I am embarrassed to admit this but I was premature, like before I even got my pants off. I do have reserves I can normally climax 5 times before I am spent but I was so embarrassed by that.

[hank]

I've done both.

The first thing you have to understand is that a penis is not the same thing as any toy. While many toys try to simulate a penis, latex/rubber whatever is not quite the same, hard yet soft at the same time.

Also two people 'making love' is not the same thing as solo activities with a toy. A lot of interesting emotions come to play which makes the 'negative' sensations lessen far faster and far much more than just using a toy on yourself. With the right partner, with trust and love, your ability to relax and enjoy may be greater than with a cold piece of latex or whatever you are using.

You know that feeling you get when you are inside someone and want to be completely in them? A bottom will have the same sort of feeling, wanting their partner in them completely. It is not just lust in play, its an intimacy, a deep sharing, a desire to join together on more than just a 'rutting animal' level.

These sorts of emotions have a profound impact on how we experience pain, and in many ways lessons the pain or even takes it away.

As others have pointed out, burning may be a sensitivity or allergy to either the lube or the material your toy is made of.

Also practice makes it easier....

I don't really know that feeling, sadly my first and only opportunity was blown by my performance anxiety.

[jimbopdxus]

[quote=hank]If not done right? How do you do it right?

As I stated, slow and easy and as the others said,. RELAX. And if you are still uncertain you might wish to consult your doctor. That is, if you have one you can trust.

[Spades]

It feels AWESOME!

Just go slow and use lots of lube. And if it is your first time and you are scared, try a position like you on top or something where you control the rythm, speed, depth etc.

Relax and enjoy!

[Bowyn Aerrow]

If not done right? How do you do it right?

Also I tend to be much larger just all around than any of my potential partners, I never have had anal sex either way. I fear that I may hurt them, I was close once with a really sweet guy but i didn't know what I was doing. By the time I got comfortable I lost my erection, couldn't get it back. I am embarrassed to admit this but I was premature, like before I even got my pants off. I do have reserves I can normally climax 5 times before I am spent but I was so embarrassed by that.

That fear of not wanting to hurt your partner is a good thing. Its a plus on your resume of outstanding qualities as a man.


You have to understand that there will be discomfort no matter for most guys - the anus is not designed to have things going it, it is designed as an exit. Thus it takes a bit of slow steady pressures and movements to get used to the ins and outs. The pleasure soon outweighs the pain for most guys, and the anus is pretty capable of rapidly adapting, relaxing into the activities.

Yes extra endowments will mean a bit more discomfort, most bottoms will go 'oh' to 'ouch' but will beg you to not stop. They just need you to press forward a wee bit slower, or push in a tad, pause to allow them to adjust, then press in a bit more.

To be blunt, lots of foreplay and I suggest fingering with lots of lube, first one finger, then two, then three - as many as are needed to roughly match the diameter of your or their endowments. 2-3 fingers is typically average - either end you are on here. Kissing, cuddling, and touching not just the anus and 'the goods' but the whole body. Work both of you up to a furnace of heat.

The brain is the real sex organ, thus the sights, sounds, smells, and other sensations will help a lot. Thus foreplay is a really good thing. And during the first insertion, take it slow, carress your partner, kiss them, tell them all those wonderful things you are thinking about. Its also known as 'making love'.


As for performance anxiety - This elf knows you perform like a stallion, a regular porn star there - just keep that in mind :biggrin:.

Keeping such ideas in your head will help boost confidence. Feel free to boost your own moral.

Do you ever watch gay porn? If not find one of those gay-tube sites and look up the name Jeff Stryker. Wear head phones and close your eyes and listen to Jeff.

Other than having larger than average endowments, Jeff knows how to 'mind masturbate' his partner (and audience). What he says, how he says it not only gets his partner more hot and bothered, but also makes him more hot and bothered.

Try mind masturbating yourself - and your partner if you can be verbal. Trust me, verbal 'masturbating' can make average sex spectacular. Again the brain is the main sex organ.

If you are topping or bottoming the first time, I would suggest 'spooning' on your side. You behind if topping, you in-front if bottoming. This allows a bit more control for both individuals. Also it allows for 'cuddling and snuggling' at the same time. The bottom can have the majority of the control to push himself back onto his partner, thus the top doesn't have to worry he is going to fast

I don't really know that feeling, sadly my first and only opportunity was blown by my performance anxiety.

As for that feeling - I fear I can't explain it fully, words fail.

[Undreamt]

what ever works for you works. there isn't really are right or wrong ways as long as you and your partner are having fun.

There are better and worse ways sure. slow to start can make it less painful but i find its more about the frame of mind if your not trusting your partner or unsure then its going to end badly

[Corona]

Surprisingly, males have their g-spot up there ass, prostate. Some guys would enjoy it more than the others not because of biological differences but because of the emotional inclination of each (submissive, dominant), the more submissive, the more likely to enjoy the idea of being fucked, not the actual fucking.

[MisterTinkles]

I tried "taking it" a couple of times, I didnt like either.

One was with a BF that had a small one, I felt like I was being stabbed with a toothpick.
The other BF was pretty big, but I didnt "get" anything out of it.

So, back to the top I went. LOL

[archubbycub]

I tried bottoming with my BF a couple of weekends ago and it was...different to say the least. It hurt a little, but not so much that we both didn't enjoy it. I think the biggest "obstacle" for lack of a better word was I wasn't relaxed enough. To make the story short but sweet, it's definitely something I'll do again. Just a little more prepared next time.