The Gifting Game

[Bowyn Aerrow]

You get a horse back with 6 legs, two rear legs and forelegs.

I insert my current migraine headache.

Oh wait, wrong game.

I accept the crippled horse and leave behind this frakking headache. Enjoy.

[trialbyerror]

I put the headache in a big big paper packet, blow it up and pop it

Bang headache gone!

I leave behind chapter three to give you another side-splitting headache

One ring to rule them all. One ring to find them, One ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them

Chapter 3 -
So anyhow, Mr Underhill, continued his hopping and skipping through endless fields of gay pansies, camping here, camping there and being quite a jolly fellow indeed.
N fact he hopped and skipped so much that the little people called him Skywalker…

But storm clouds where gathering. It was the mighty steed, Gollum who could sense the presence of the ring.

Long story short and many miles later Gollum (and the Elf) caught up with Luke.

The conversation went something like this.

Elf: - Phhhissssssssss haaaaaaaaaaaa Phhhissssssssss haaaaaaaaaaaa “I know you”

Luke: - “Tsk, no you don’t” in his buch-est lisp “God what is that thing on your head… It smells putrid”

Elf: Phhhissssssssss haaaaaaaaaaaa “Luke you know it be the truth you are the frutie of my loins, come with me to the uber lord, or I will destroy you”. At which time the Elf brought out his torchie thingie, and a humming red beam came out one end

Luke: - “Oh no you don’t, just hang on a mo”. He unpacked his evil creek bag and brought out his torchie thingie, and a humming white light came out of it.

“Just you dare come near me and I’ll push this so far up where the sun never shines you’ll never be able to crap again ever!” “God what is that bloody awful smell”?

Elf- Phhhissssssssss haaaaaaaaaaaa Phhhissssssssss

Luke: - “You serious? Piss”? Bang! Bang went the torchie thingies!

This went on for a day or two, but eventually they kissed, huggied and made peace…

Now Gollum, seeing all this lovie-dovie going on turned traitor and headed straight for the Uber-lords dungeon

The Elf, noticing how clean and sweet smelling young Lukie was, decided enough was enough and removed the chamber-pot off his head to take a bath in the pool, which was most unfortunate because just as he got in, a very very big octopus living in the pool attacked him and dragged him under the water.

About 20 seconds later the Elf came flying out of the water.

The octopus also came out to the edge of the pool spitting and retching and vomiting… Ironically it seems the smell saved him from a fate worse than death…

The story goes into the history books with: -
The Uber-lord ridin-and-wippin-and-ridin-and-wippin Gollum, all over the show looking for a homing device’s signal which he won’t find because it was magically taken out of Lukkie by some dude in a long white coat and a long beard and dropped in a crack spewing hot chillies where it simply melted by Thorondor the king of the eagles (better known in these hallowed halls as Miles) .

Lukkie was awarded a huge medal by the King of Gondor at a glittering ball attended by thousands and thousands of little solders all dressed in white,

The Elf got a pony called prancing (and was then known throughout the land as the prancing pony)
And a beautiful estate with lots and lots of green lawn and vegetable patches and fruit trees and flowers and wheat and corn blowing in the wind and chickens and goats and piggies and geese and (well you get my drift)

Of late someone saw the Elf riding around in a carriage pulled by non other than the prancing pony, got jealous (because it is a very gilded carriage) and has gone off to telld the Uber-lord.

Turns out Lukkie and the Elf are not father and son, that was a figment of my imagination.....

[Rainbowmum]

My gift is Nibbler

[partisan]

I like Nibbler :biggrin: thank you

My gift is a buzz lightyear action figure that loves smack

[Miles]

Thanks!

I gift a tesseract.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Great now I can be in two places at once.

I leave behind a bit of sunshine in a baggy.

[trialbyerror]

Ooooooo Ta

I leave a clock that goes backwards

[partisan]

aT ooooooO :biggrin:

My gift is a medium rare steak in rich red wine sauce, onions, button mushrooms and creamy mash potato + bread & butter and more wine and dessert of your choice.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I fear food will interfere with my diet....

I leave behind a pair of sharpened scissors - take them, go, run.

[Nick9]

Sure, but you will give me the gun too.

I will share my yummy raspberry cake