30 and wondering who I am?

[pellaz]

Honestly I an terrified of dating women. I have had several in the past year that have approached that were drop dead gorgeous with great personalities but I freeze up, panic and then continue staying single afraid to ask them out.

sounds like you have problems with the ladies, but that is my take, so do I. consider the sexual preference you are strongest in, has the most chance of a stable friendship and loving relationship.

... I don't believe I would have turned to men had I been in an environment when I was younger that would have been conducive to forming relationships with people other than just guys ...

dont blame your current issues on the past. Like the gym, diet period you just recently went through you can conduct your life as you need want to. Dont be so self limiting as either sex is 50% of the population.

... Does that make someone still gay because they were attracted at times in the past to men? ...

actually sexuality is somewhat fluid.

... The mainstream has it all wrong... Frankly I don't think the question will ever be able to be answered with hard affirmative evidence. In fact I don't think there ever will be answer the question why ...

-sarcastic; "i always thought the mainstream was wrong" you have even less research than they and you come up with big opinions. Either way; odd how humans treasure un supported belief systems.
-in some ways I hope the term gay and straight go way. Between consenting adults what does it matter? so long as there is love in your life.
-I hope they never find the term gay gene.