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Stressing myself out...
#21
Counselor Wrote:Thank you for the clarification!

...but you still need to talk to him. Wink

Thanks Smile

We're still "going out" in every usual sense of the word, so for now, I'm happy.

I don't know if we'll ever be at the point where me telling him about my various "paranoias" is helpful, so I'm keeping that to myself for now. I guess we'll just have to see what develops...
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#22
If you don't think you'll reach that point, do you think the relationship is worth pursuing?
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#23
I'd suggest you reread your long aggressive post toward Counselor and Boweyn Arrow again, jspric, I think it will be insightful for your relationship. I'm not trying to be an asshole and I think it's clear to everyone that you truly care deeply for this guy. My advice to you is the same as others have mentioned, TALK TO HIM. I think you're making a big deal out of nothing and I'm worried if you continue to have so much anxiety with your relationship it may not end up working out as well as you had wanted, but I think it has the potential to if you stop worrying and just communicate what is on your mind to this guy. Best of luck.
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#24
Well thank you all, even if I seemed a bit of a dick in a couple posts...

I DID talk to him on Friday, In fact, he brought it up before I had a chance to! We had a long talk about relationships, sex, and "manscaping", and as of that point, we both made an explicit agreement to each other that we'd both be exclusive from now on in (although I haven't been with anyone else since I started seeing him). We even engaged in some, um, non-specific activites... which have confirmed to me that the relationship is moving in the right direction!

For what it's worth though, I know this guy really well, and I'd trust him with my life. And after hearing him say we're "exclusive", I could log back on to that site, and see that he was online only minutes ago, and not feel the slightest bit of anxiety. I know he'd never cheat, OR look for something "better" whilst in a relationship, and neither would I.

So thanks for your support everyone, I feel like I'm home free on this front!
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#25
humour is the best recourse for this type of situation.


he will feel perplexed by your apparent lack of interest in his infidelity. yet he will know you are aware of it. and if he is clever enough, he will know that humour is just a way of communicating something serious.

and if his actions were completely innocent in the first place, you wont be putting yourself in the spot of wrongfully accusing anyone.
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#26
jsprplc2006 Wrote:Well thank you all, even if I seemed a bit of a dick in a couple posts...

I DID talk to him on Friday, In fact, he brought it up before I had a chance to! We had a long talk about relationships, sex, and "manscaping", and as of that point, we both made an explicit agreement to each other that we'd both be exclusive from now on in (although I haven't been with anyone else since I started seeing him). We even engaged in some, um, non-specific activites... which have confirmed to me that the relationship is moving in the right direction!

For what it's worth though, I know this guy really well, and I'd trust him with my life. And after hearing him say we're "exclusive", I could log back on to that site, and see that he was online only minutes ago, and not feel the slightest bit of anxiety. I know he'd never cheat, OR look for something "better" whilst in a relationship, and neither would I.

So thanks for your support everyone, I feel like I'm home free on this front!

So you AREN'T single? Your profile HERE says you aren't in a relationship... More confusion... Wink
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#27
Counselor Wrote:So you AREN'T single? Your profile HERE says you aren't in a relationship... More confusion... Wink

Haha... Not since a week or two ago!

Honestly, I've signed up to so many online dating sites in the last 5 years I just don't have the presence of mind to go change my status a million times. I just check Facebook, POF, and OkCupid, and can never remember the rest.
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