Suicide

[Nick9]

Hi Anon,

I always thought people committed suicide when they started feeling bad enough not to care about the damage they'll cause to their loved ones.

yes, that's true actually.

[ThatRobGuy]

It's always heartbreaking to read posts like this. I'm sure all of us would love to wrap our arms around you, give you a big hug, and assure you that everything will be okay.

You mentioned that you are a teenager. I know others have told you this and you've probably thought it too, but there are so many different stages in life, with each one being so different from the others. Being a teenager, now being almost 9 years removed from it myself, is so much different than "adult" life. The people you know as a teenager, especially the ones you don't care for, you most likely won't even have any contact with once you get into your 20s. You have a chance to establish a new life and new circle of friends. I hope you can hold out long enough to see what life has to offer you in your 20s and try to make the best of it.

Everyone is here for you whenever you need to talk. Please do yourself a favor and see a therapist of some sort. There's no need to feel embarrassed or ashamed; a professional has heard it all before and it's their job to help you get through it and turn things around.

[Anonymous]

Yes, my plan is to leave the country for university. Thanks everyone, you've been very nice and helpful. Sorry for maybe being dramatic or whiny and stuff

[Eromir]

Yes, my plan is to leave the country for university. Thanks everyone, you've been very nice and helpful. Sorry for maybe being dramatic or whiny and stuff

That's interesting, because I also left my home town to study abroad mostly because I couldn't afford to be open about my sexuality in my home country.

Good luck with that!

[Nick9]

Sorry for maybe being dramatic or whiny and stuff

Get that out of your head, sweetie

You are not. If you don't want to be known, create an anonymous thread every time you feel down. Talking about feelings helps and somebody will always be there to listen and to talk back.

[Anonymous]

This is why I love this forum so much. Seriously, thanks to all of you guys! I'd group-hug you if I could!

This cheered me up a little and I feel better after actually telling someone, even anonymously!

[Rainbowmum]

Your post is so heartbreaking.
All I can add is that we are all here for you always.

[Double007]

First of all, I am sad to hear you are sad and thinking of suicide. It's a dark and lonely place. You say that you can't really figure out why you feel depressed but when you tell about what's going on in your life, it sounds depressing to me. I think what's going on is depressing you whether you realize it or not. I'm going to be honest and tell you that you need to seek some help. Whether you think it's for you or not. You need a counselor or psychologist or someone that can help you. You are no match for depression. If you don't have enough courage to seek help, I'm not sure you can beat the thoughts that come to your head. As intimidating as it might be, you need to admit that you need help and let someone help you. You claim hat you are socially awkward and have had some sexuality issues. I'm pretty sure that's not easy and it's okay to look to someone for direction and support. Someone cares for you and I would really encourage you to talk to a school counselor or someone before you make those thoughts a habit. You can do it my friend!

[Anonymous]

Thanks for taking the time to comment! I really don't know, but I'll consider going to a professional. It's just a bit tricky when it's so hard to explain why exactly I feel like this. Something I didn't mention was that this isn't a permanent feeling. There are lots of times (mainly during travels with friends) that I feel happy. But it always comes back sooner or later making everything seem pointless again.

I'll really consider it though, thanks

[Mark]

Wow. This post has made me come out of hiding for a number of reasons. I'm not going to say I understand or I know what you're going through as I really don't. Just the one thing I have learn't is to not bottle it all up as that would make things 100x worse. I think you did the right thing posting as anonymous just so you can in some ways clear your mind. I think you are being too hard on yourself maybe thinking that you shouldn't be so negative, or not hate as much and in turn that is adding pressure on yourself, (going around in a vicious circle). I don't really have a clear cut suggestion. The speaking to someone could work but I for one couldn't do that so I can understand if its not for you. Sometimes speaking to a stranger, even someone online that you don't really know but just generally want to talk to, even if its nonsense can help! Maybe you shouldn't try to focus on why you feel like this, but maybe focus on what makes you feel happy and in turn you could in some ways forget some of the darkness? Now I'm just waffling on, (thats the British for you), just do yourself a favour and when you start to feel down, talk to someone, anyone about it.