Stop Bullying, Stop Suicide.

[dfiant]

Bullying at school and in the workplace is all to often dismissed by people as 'character building' and the advice from ignorant people too often is 'Harden Up'.

BUT there is bullying and then there is BULLYING.

The everyday bullying, like being called a 'Ranga' for having red hair, 'Sticks' for being skinny, 'Nerd' for being smart, is nothing more than banter....friendly and unfriendly and can be character building because it more than often is not vicous and accompanied by physical conflict. I still don't like it, but this bantering is just a fact of life.

BULLYING is where you come into problems and it is where people need to understand that this scars people so deeply that emotionally and psychologically, they become unhinged. This includes homophobia, obesity, racism, religious vilification and disablities, and is more often than not accompanied why some sort of physical confrontation like pushing, shoving, punching, fighting, stone throwing etc. This bullying is just so hurtful that it often leaves the victim feeling so claustrophobic because there seems to be no escape as everywhere we turn there is bullying...can't go to school, can't go to sports, can't even walk to the shops without some sort of incident.

It is easy to understand how someone can be pushed to the point that they feel the only way to avoid being harrassed and bullied is suicide, because it seem to be the only escape.

I went through this from about the age of 12. A boy that I was fond of and shared some good times with (I often refer to him as my first Boyfriend, first real love). He confided in a friend of his who happened to be deeply religious and after that came to me and told me I should find god or everyone at school would find out about me. He escaped the bullying because he turned to god and became one of my bullies. I would often go home from school with large bruises, torn clothes and vandalised school bag.

There was little escape and that is when I started to think about dying. I got to the point where I was laying on a rail track and waiting for a train, when the train came my life flashed before my eyes, I just couldn't do it, but I know how easy it is to get to that point.

So I say to anyone that dismisses bullying as harmless and character building, you have blood on your hands because you push victims to the edge by making them feel like thay are not important enough to be helped.

To anyone in these forums that is feeling desperate enough to be considering suicide, please send me a message, I want to hold your hand, I want to hear your story, I want you in my life.

There are a lot of great people in GaySpeak who would stand beside me and say the same thing, we love you, we will be here for you...Please, let us help you?

Please use this thread to share your stories and let everyone know that you care and you want to help too

[dfiant]

Guys, can I add if you are willing to help and take a private message from someone that wants help or a friend, just 'Thank' my original post so that people looking for help can find someone that they may identify with eaier to contact.

[Gpbi]

Thats a really good threat, thanks dfiant!

[toomuch45]

i love this thread thanks a lot

[Merging]

Great thread

[Gabbyboy]

i survived bullying too, left deep emotional scars and took me almost 4 years to recover, the only time i recovered is when i came out as a gay person. many times i held a knife and try to slit my wrist but i could not do it, i love my mom so much i couldnt hurt her by dying.. :/ i remember being poke with a needle, burnt by lighters, hit with a bamboo stick, punched everyday with my seatmate, stab by a ballpen, eating alone, alone in the prom.. really bad experience... but i forgave them. its in the past anyways i believe it made me stronger and learn how to deal with people more..

[72jay]

Even worse than those who simply commit suicide are the ones who totally snap and go on a shooting rampage through their school We've all seen results of this on the news :eek: There's probably a few people here where that was their city/town on the news as well...

[dfiant]

Even worse than those who simply commit suicide are the ones who totally snap and go on a shooting rampage through their school .

That has always been one of my strongest comebacks to the ignorant who think bully victims need to harden up...the mention of 2 names...Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold...usually make a strong arguement for bullying being dangerous

[Merging]

Yes it is quite sad isn't it

[Marvinteck]

I was bullied in school. I was a social outcast and picked on all through school. The people who would bully me were not usually physically abusive but more so mentally. I never would stick up for myself. I just took the abuse by bottling it up inside. If you went and told the teacher then you were a snitch. That would only make the bullying worst. I entertained thoughts about suicide, revenge or just dropping out of school. I think the worst incident that I remember from school was when a kid that was sitting behind me class set my hair on fire. The whole class saw what happened including the teacher. The worst part about it was the teacher did absolutely NOTHING about it. Not only was I picked on by the students but some of the school staff would tease me as well. I had a teacher once ask me in front of the whole class "What did you do, Comb your hair with eggbeaters this morning?". I wanted to say eff you and walk out of the class but just sat there. Being a social outcast I remember sometimes crying myself to sleep at night because I was so lonely and thought nobody liked me.

I must admit I did do some of my own bullying in school but it was on the rare occasion. My family was dirt poor so the latest most fashionable name brand clothes were out of the question. In lunch one day of my senior year I overheard a kid sitting at the next table over talking to his friends. He was talking about me and how I wore the same old clothes every day. I took offense to it but did nothing. Then I overheard the kid talking about me again two or three days later. He had just drawn a huge target on his back. Every day after lunch I would jam a plastic fork into the vents on his locker. May not seem like much but it drove him crazy. He of course talked more stuff about me at lunch to his friends. So I took corn syrup and smeared it all over his lock on his locker to make it sticky. I guess the stuff dried and made it impossible to turn the dial because the school principal accused me of using super glue on the lock. The last thing I did to him was brought a padlock from home and locked his locker shut so he couldnt get in. He couldnt get into his locker for half the school day till the school janitor cut the thing off with bolt cutters. I was called into the office by the principal and told to knock it off or I would get in trouble. The moral to the story is if you don't want to get bullied then don't do it to other people.

I graduated high school and went off to college. The first year out in college was extremely rough on me. I was still a social outcast that was lonely and depressed. I would eventually try to kill myself that first year away from home due to bullying by my classmates. Here is a previous post where I told the story about out in college:
http://gayspeak.com/showthread.php?t=14102