What is Wrong With Some People?

[Jay]

I just need a place to rant for today.

What is Wrong With Some People?

I took a cab to go home from gym. I wore a sleeveless t-shirt that obviously shows off my muscular toned arms. I wore sleeveless t-shirt in public not to show off but to train my confidence and self esteem. Both of my shoulders have ugly stretch marks and both arms have long visible scars from my previous surgery. Wearing sleeveless in public helps me to accept my 'imperfection'.

Anyway the 20ish year old cab driver told me that he also goes to a gym. He asked which gym I go to and how long have I have been working out. I told him I started working out (Seriously and properly) 7 months ago. The first 4 months, I was trained by my personal trainer, which happens to be a former Mr Asia.

Then he asked, "Do you take poison to build your body?"

I was dumbfounded. "What? Poison?"

"Steroid and illegal substance." He explained. He said he can't believe that I'm able to gain muscle and look fit in just 7 months. He said he has been doing workout out (Not seriously) for 5 months. But he's not seeing result.

"No. I don't take poison to build my body." I answered him calmly. "I have been doing exercise and workout for years. But I only started doing weightlifting seriously for 7 months."

"Oh, years. That makes sense. I can believe you if it takes years. I wouldn't buy if it's only 7 months." He replied.

I sighed.

"So do you take any kind of supplement? I'm taking a lot." He asked.

"The only supplement that I take is whey protein for muscle recovery. Others are common multivitamins and L-Glutamine (L-Glutamine is amino acid in muscle cells. It is released from the muscle during times of stress (such as doing workout). I emphasize on eating right, healthily by cooking at home." I explained to him.

He nodded.

"Do you take XXX pills?" He asked

Again, I was baffled. "What XXX pills???"

"I used to be fat. I was around 90kg (148lbs). It helps me to lose weight ..." He went.

"I used to be 165kg (363lbs). I did it without taking a short cut" I cut him out.

"What? How did you lose weight? How long did it take?" He was shocked.

"7 years and still counting."

"How?" He asked.

"Exercise. I brisk walk. I run. I sprint. I climb office building's emergency stairs from ground floor to 30th floor (3 repetitions daily). I go to gym religiously five times a week for cardio and weight training. I do interval training."

"How did you diet?" He continued to ask.

"I don't diet. I define diet as a short term goal that often fails because the person who diets only watch his dietary for certain period of time and then let loose again. The best way to lose weight is by changing your lifestyle. I had a couch potato lifestyle but now I live in an active healthy lifestyle. You need to change your mindset to succeed. Eat healthily. Cook at home. Be aware of what you order in a restaurant. I haven't touched sodas, junk food, KFC, McDonald's and Pizza Hut since 2005. The only fast food that I can tolerate is Subway's Roasted Chicken Sandwich with no cheese and sauce, which I only eat once or twice in a year or two." I explained to him as clearly as possible.

"Uhuh ..." He continued to nod. But honestly, I don't think he bought my words.

I sighed again.

What is Wrong With You People

When I was morbid obese, I was mocked, insulted, bullied and criticized. Every single day. When I lost my weight, people criticized me for being skinny or too skinny. Now that I'm regaining mass and muscle, some people are criticizing me for being too big and eating too much (Healthy food). "Jay, you have a small head so don't be too big. Jay, aren't you meant to be bottom so don't be too big and muscular. Jay, you are eating too much. Jay, your face has 'sunken'. Oh Jay, pity. Nice face with a crippled leg."

Seriously, what is wrong with you people? How insecure can you be with yourself? Yes, I am annoyed and slightly upset right now with you type of people. But if you think I'm going to feel down or go depress due to your criticism then you are so wrong. Do you know why? Because the best revenge that I can give to each one of you is by ignoring you and keep walking ahead. I will let you continue to wonder why and how I can change my life for the better.

Do you think my transformation is a work of magic? Poof! Just like that? It took me 7 years and counting to be who I am today. Tears, sweat, discipline, sacrifice and hard work.

God, you don't know many times I cried in my bedroom after being mocked and insulted by passersby, kids and teenagers whilst doing my brisk walk in a jogging park. You don't know the pain that I have to endure and the strength that I need to go back and forth for multiple surgeries to remove excess (loose) skin due to morbid obese. You don't know that I had to sacrifice my nipples (Cutting its nerves) to make my chest surgery successful.

Do you want to see how I bust my butt off every week to do workout? Let's do this.

Monday -

8.00am - Abdominal workout and interval training (Mount Climbers (30 Sec), Burpees (30 Sec) & Push Up (30 Sec) - 4 Repetitions)

7.00pm - Gym. Weight Lifting (Leg workout). Despite my left leg injury, I still do Walking Lunges with 25kg dumbbells every week. Leg Press. Leg Extension. Leg Curls. Standing Calf Raises. And to make my leg workout more challenging, I have to train each leg separately instead of both of the same time due to my leg injury.

Tuesday -

8.00am - Running/Stairs Climbing GF to 30th Floor (3 Reps)

7.00pm - Gym. Weight Lifting. Shoulder and Traps.

Wednesday -

8.00am - Abdominal workout and interval training (Mount Climbers (30 Sec), Burpees (30 Sec) & Push Up (30 Sec) - 4 Repetitions). Running/Stairs Climbing GF to 30th Floor (3 Reps)

7.00pm - Rest from Weight Lifting.

Thursday -

8.00am - Running/Stairs Climbing GF to 30th Floor (3 Reps)

7.00pm - Gym. Cardio Training.

Friday -

8.00am - Abdominal workout. Running/Stairs Climbing GF to 30th Floor (3 Reps)

7.00pm - Gym. Weight Lifting. Chest and Biceps.

Saturday -

2.00pm - Gym. Weight Training. Back and Triceps.

Sunday -

8.00am - Sprint in a jogging park. Other exercises.

I'm happy and proud to be who I am now. I feel like an ugly ducking who becomes a swan. For the first time in my life, I am actually living and enjoying my life. Why can't you be happy for me? Why is there a need for hatred and jealousy? What is wrong with you people? Open your eyes, open your mind and grow up.

Another thing, this crippled leg of mine. Despite its imperfection, my crippled leg still able to outdo what your healthy leg can do. Whilst your healthy leg resting on a couch, mine works like hell in the gym. My imperfection is my strength.

P/S: I'll be fine by tomorrow. Again, I just need a place to rant for today.

[SolemnBoy]

People usually find ways to criticize you no matter what you do.

In primary school I had friends both from the uhm... "upper parts" of the hierarchy but also friends from the typical "dork" groups. At this point in my life I had, for the first time ever, started experimenting with different styles since I had kind of low self-esteem. I had never really cared about my appearance at all but I started trying to look better, not to impress anyone but to make myself feel better. The popular kids had always made fun of me (most of the times jokingly, sometimes seriously) for enjoying books, being a huge moviedork, my interests in most school subjects etc. but during this time even the "dorks" (for lack of a better word) kind of turned against me because... I don't know. I guess they thought I wanted to climb the hierarchy by caring about my appearance or something like that which was never my intent.

I guess it's kind of like how lots of skinny girls take crap for being "shallow" or "anorexic" whereas chubby girls take lots of crap for being... well chubby. Just ignore everyone with opinions like that and be happy about your progress!

[pellaz]

going to ignore the cab driver.

congratulations
you noticed how the mind follows the body physical improvements

so for sure not your self but you can see how someone who has taken the self interest to live a healthy life is not to fond of someone over weight. This person (not you) would not see any good qualities in a chub date.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Well honestly your face does look a bit sunken in....

I assume there are different reason why people are hating on you. When you were morbidly obese it was easy for them to feel 'better than' you because you were obviously not 'healthy'.

Now that you have made this massive change and are actually proving you are 'better than' they they are going to lash out and try to be 'better than' you in some way.

Back when I was snorting lines of meth, I would 'tsk tsk' IV needle users (slammers) pointing out that I didn't have a problem because I didn't use a needle.

Then after I started slamming I pointed out to mere snorters and smokers of the chemical that I was better than they because I got the most bang from my buck.

While this is an obvious case of bad not being good no matter how you look at it. It exemplifies how people seek to make themselves look better than others.

If you reread your post you will see that you kind of stomached up to the same bar and are yourself pointing out the flaws in others and making yourself 'better than'. Even though you have made this huge effort and are justly in need of reward for all of that time, energy and sacrifice, others will read it and think 'Gee ain't this guy all full of himself'.

Human need reasons to feel good about themselves, just or unjust, reasonable or not, we all find ways to point out that we are 'better than', inflate our ego a little.

I think that if we all faced our bad points and fully realized just how 'less than' we really are the human population on this planet would rapidly drop from over 7 billion to about half a million as we would end up committing suicide to escape the 'horrible relativity' of how not so perfect we really are.

It takes a special kind of person to accept low self esteem and live with it


For all of it is worth, I find your story inspirational, and while I do not connect with a name or face I do tell tales of the super-man who managed to change his life in a serious ways and better himself. Your story is worth telling and most likely has helped a lot more people than you will ever know.

So some people do appreciate what you have put yourself through.

[Watermark]

You can never please everyone. If you are happy that is all what matters I think.

[dfiant]

Some people are just so miserable in their own lives and their own existance that they have to criticise those that have have succeeded with their goals just to make themselves feel better.

I know it is nice to have a positive impact on people, and Jay your impact on people is almost always positive, what you have achieved is awe inspiring and I can guarantee you have changed many peoples way of thinking, especially people right here in Gayspeak, so I can only imagine how inspiring you are to those whose lives you touch each day

Just so that you know, I have given up smoking, I'm in my third month now and I have gone unassisted after a month on Champix when I should have been on the full course for 4 months.

I have tried so many times to quit in the last 15 years that it isn't funny, but I was always looking at it the wrong way. I wanted results right here and right now and I think that is generally the problem with society these days.

You have stuck to your guns and shown us that yes there is a bloody hard battle ahead and yes nothing good happens over night. You have to set your goals and you have to work at achieving those goals day by day, because each new day will bring it's set of challenges, and each new week and month of challenges overcome reap you the rewards.

The rewards are as simple as knowing you conquered, but the confidence you gain in yourself, you feel it in your soul, is so bloody powerful that you start looking for other things in your life that you aren't happy with and want to change. It also makes you look at everything that has made you happy and realise that sometimes happiness in tis world is easy to come by, but if you make your own happiness then you will never run out of smiles.

Jay, your mere presence and the stories you have shared HAVE made an impact

Without you as an inspiration, I would not have been as determined to quit smoking

Don't let any of those negative people who take short cuts in life for fake happiness affect you

[pellaz]

... The only supplement that I take is whey protein for muscle recovery ...

you might also look at this product:

its slower a bit longer lasting, my impression less refined.

[cardiganwearer]

If the rant hasn't done the trick, go and kick something solid. When you've regained your composure take a moment to reflect that taxi drivers the world over talk unmitigated bollox. Best just to nod and mumble and tip generously.

Just out of curiosity, what sort of fitness regime involves a cab home from the gym?

[Jay]

Well honestly your face does look a bit sunken in....

I assume there are different reason why people are hating on you. When you were morbidly obese it was easy for them to feel 'better than' you because you were obviously not 'healthy'.

Now that you have made this massive change and are actually proving you are 'better than' they they are going to lash out and try to be 'better than' you in some way.

Back when I was snorting lines of meth, I would 'tsk tsk' IV needle users (slammers) pointing out that I didn't have a problem because I didn't use a needle.

Then after I started slamming I pointed out to mere snorters and smokers of the chemical that I was better than they because I got the most bang from my buck.

While this is an obvious case of bad not being good no matter how you look at it. It exemplifies how people seek to make themselves look better than others.

If you reread your post you will see that you kind of stomached up to the same bar and are yourself pointing out the flaws in others and making yourself 'better than'. Even though you have made this huge effort and are justly in need of reward for all of that time, energy and sacrifice, others will read it and think 'Gee ain't this guy all full of himself'.

Human need reasons to feel good about themselves, just or unjust, reasonable or not, we all find ways to point out that we are 'better than', inflate our ego a little.

I think that if we all faced our bad points and fully realized just how 'less than' we really are the human population on this planet would rapidly drop from over 7 billion to about half a million as we would end up committing suicide to escape the 'horrible relativity' of how not so perfect we really are.

It takes a special kind of person to accept low self esteem and live with it


For all of it is worth, I find your story inspirational, and while I do not connect with a name or face I do tell tales of the super-man who managed to change his life in a serious ways and better himself. Your story is worth telling and most likely has helped a lot more people than you will ever know.

So some people do appreciate what you have put yourself through.

I don't know if it was a sarcasm or not because I'm not good at telling sarcasm. But thanks for pointing out that my face has sunken.

Bowyn, maybe I didn't convey my rant very well that it turns out sound super obnoxious and egoistic. But never in 29 years of my life I speak up such as above. I always just keep myself quiet and let others do the talking. Whilst I may have become a health freak, I don't nag and dictate my family, friends or people around me on how they should live their lives. I do my thing and you do yours. I didn't even say a thing when people criticized and made fun of me. I just gave my polite smile or walked away.

I spoke up in such way (Above) because I wasn't in the right mind. I was ranting. I was hurting. My only weapon to defend myself is my strength. I'm sorry if my post somehow belittle others and sounds rudely obnoxious.

My dad taught me that being humble is King. I follow what he said for 29 years. And yesterday, I accidentally 'lashed out' in a wrong manner and now people can easily conclude/stamp me as an egoistic person. Concluding who I am based on one post in a discussion forum.

Again, my apology if my post sounds egoistic, obnoxious and indirectly hurt others.

Just so that you know, I have given up smoking, I'm in my third month now and I have gone unassisted after a month on Champix when I should have been on the full course for 4 months.

Without you as an inspiration, I would not have been as determined to quit smoking

Daz, I read your thread on Champix all the time. I congratulate you for that. I know you can do it from the get go because your name is Daz. You were born to be badass.

But Daz, I didn't do anything. You did it yourself with your might and will power. I didn't even have the slightest doubt that you can quit smoking. I know that it probably takes time to quit but I never hesitate with your capability to quit.

If the rant hasn't done the trick, go and kick something solid. When you've regained your composure take a moment to reflect that taxi drivers the world over talk unmitigated bollox. Best just to nod and mumble and tip generously.

Just out of curiosity, what sort of fitness regime involves a cab home from the gym?

My gym is located far away from my house and I don't have a car. I usually go home from gym at around 9.30pm. The last time I walked home from gym at night, I was mugged by a mugger who held a knife behind my neck. I had to wrestle him to run away. I got away but with a bleeding neck.

I still walk home from gym but only on Saturday. I go to gym on Saturday during day time.

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To answer another indirect post, I do not narrow down my potential man only toward 'gym type of guy'. I'm not a shallow person.

I thank everyone for everyone's thought and advice. I really appreciate it very much. Again, I'm sorry if my post sounds rudely obnoxious, egoistic and indirectly hurt others. It wasn't my intention. I was hurting and wasn't in the right mind.

Lastly, I think I've learned my lesson. I give up.

[dfiant]

But Daz, I didn't do anything. You did it yourself with your might and will power. I didn't even have the slightest doubt that you can quit smoking. I know that it probably takes time to quit but I never hesitate with your capability to quit.

Oh but Jay, as humble as you are you ARE a source of inspiration. This is the 20th attempt at quitting in 33 years, the longest I have lasted previously is 1 month.

I am now in my third month because you believe in you and I believe in you, and now I believe in me and you believe in me and that my dear friend makes the world of difference.

You have impacted on my desire and commitment and I have drawn strength from all the support I have gotten.

You are definately a person that I admire and respect and I thank you for helping me Jay xxx