i was in a relationship for 7 years that was supposed to be monogamous. He cheated in me with (that I know of for sure) 30 times, but I know there were more. He would go home with guys from the bar for group sex and he would even go with his"friends" to the sauna. When I asked he would lie to me about it. And normally I would find out from someone else.
A year ago I met sometime else and broke up with my bf of 7 years. We however remain friends. When we talk about it now he says what I did to him was worse because he may have cheated on me but he never left me. So now I feel bad for leaving him.
So what's worse that I found someone else while in a relationship with him and then left him for that guy or him who cheated on me 30 times but stayed with me? In the seven years we were together I never cheated on him once except for the time I met my new bf.
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What's bad is that you didn't leave him long before you did. I personally think you shouldn't be talking to this guy anymore at all as he's a failure as a friend as he was a boyfriend.
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First off....
He cheated once and didnt tell you.....SHAME ON HIM!
He cheated on you MANY more times, and you found out and didnt leave RIGHT THEN...
SHAME ON YOU!!!
Whats worse?
That youre even still friends with this douchebag.
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Neither, the worst thing is you empowered your scumbag ex by staying with him for 7 years know that he was potentially bringing every virus/STD into your life.
Almost as bad is that you have remained 'friends' with the scumbag and now you are letting him make you feel bad for doing what you should have done 7 years earlier?
WAKE UP TO YOURSELF AND GET THAT PRICK OUT OF YOUR LIFE.
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Seriously? The guy is a douche. 30 times? He could have given you an STD. I have entertained the trolls of yahoo answers for over a year now, but if this is real, I just can't see why you are even friends with him, especially after he said that to you after he cheated that many times.
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unless you agree to an open relationship PRIOR to him doing with other people then cheating is always worse.
The fact that he didn't talk to you about it at all doubly so.
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That fact that he's saying that your breaking up with his sorry selfish cheating ass is WORSE than his being such a sorry selfish cheating ass is proof positive that your breaking up with him was actually the best and rightest action taken in this whole scenario. Judging by what you've told us, this guy has a dangerously skewed perception of reality and friendship, and if I were you I'd have cut ties with him a while ago.
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I was putting up "THANKS" to all the answers but that was silly... all have said it already.
Why are you still talking to this person? Do you have a desire for humiliation? Just move on! Now!
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Nah, what he did was worse, I'm not sure why he'd even try arguing otherwise.
It's sad, it seems that he's in denial of what he has done, or he is trying to manipulate you to forgive him, or at the very least is trying to make you feel crap about it; and as you are here asking, at least the latter seems to be working to a degree.
Don't listen to him; I would also recommend dropping him as a friend, as hard as that may be. He doesn't seem to care about you all that much.
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Both the options you present in this "which is worse" competition have already happened, they're past, gone, there's nothing you can do to change them. You can change the consequences of these events, you're living through those now and they'll reverberate into the future.
Looking at past events and trying to compare them may be useful if they appear as options again in the future and then only if they appear as the only options. Has such an eventuality arisen? Unlikely, I'm guessing.
So I can't help you to make the comparison you ask but I will suggest that neither is worse than trying to build a world view which revolves around, or even involves, making fine distinctions in the blameworthiness of past events. To do so would be a sad waste of emotion and intellect, why not direct yours to more productive ground?
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