On Edge

[U53I2]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years(I'm now 20, he's 19). He doesn't have exactly the most faithful of pasts with me. He's never actually cheated, but he's jumped on the borderline of cheating a few times, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, I recently found some Facebook messages that made me raise an eyebrow. I need a second opinion, in order to see if I should be concerned. It's just kind of bugging me. I want a few thoughts on this before I actually say or do something stupid.

The chunk of messages I'm going to type out, that make me raise an eyebrow, are as follows:

My Boyfriend(MBF)
Other Guy (OG)

---First Segment----
OG:You're cute
MBF: Ha thanks!

----New Segment---
OG: I was going to ask you for drinks sometime, but maybe I could settle for dinner sometime?
MBF: Quite possibly! Hahahah depends on how nice you are !

Thanks for any feed back.

[Beau]

First one doesn't seem a big deal. Just some guy being flattering.

Second one maybe suspicious, but it may just be some flirting. I don't see any incriminating evidence here.

[rmf]

I on them other hand would ask your bf has he mentioned this guy before? If so and they are going for dinner that's a little different then he not saying a word about him... talk to him - relationships need communication.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Hi there, Welcome to Gayspeak.

I fail to see borderline cheating here. Not in what little you posted.

It may be flirty, but that doesn't mean automatic cheat.


This was posted on Facebook where I assume your named as being a BF/Domestic Partner whatever with your man. And you can access his posts/replies/ whatever.

If this was cheating, you wouldn't see anything like this, it would all be on the Down Low.

Ha Thanks - - Quite possibly! Hahahah --- Tells me your BF is laughing. possibly flattered but not taking this seriously. Ha and Hahaha is laughter.

In both cases the other guy approached your partner (be flattered yourself, your BF is 'approachable' at the very least or 'cute').

Your BF may not feel comfortable with shooting down a person:

"Hey A$$hat, I'm married go F$@# yourself" may not be his style.

It may very well be that your partner is a natural flirt. flirting is an interesting social tool that doesn't always mean "I want you".

I would suggest that if you have a real problem, that you talk to your BF, rationally and ask him what does this all mean to him. If he says nothing, then rest assured that is most likely exactly what it means to him - nothing.

[pellaz]

you need to have that conversation what constitutes cheating and be able to express what are your expectations. on the flip side he should not shut you down and appreciate what you say. He like wise participate in the conversation.

[Sport77]

I'd talk to your boyfriend about it. it's probably just flirting, and like Bowyn Aerrow says- he may not be comfortable with letting someone down.

Be Honest with your boyfriend and let him know that you are uncomfortable with those Facebook posts.

[U53I2]

Thanks everyone for the replies

Well, he doesn't know that I've seen this. He doesn't even know that I have access to his Facebook information right now. He changed the password, wrote it down, so that he wouldn't forget it, and I saw it. He has no idea.

And yes, I know this isn't "cheating," but it makes me feel uncomfortable. Also, my boyfriend has never mentioned this person before. My boyfriend initiated the conversation and added the guy himself. It also worries me that he actually agreed to go on a date with someone else.

Anywho, thanks for all of the advise. I really do appreciate it!

[pellaz]

i would still bring it up with him. otherwise it will not just get forgotten and go away

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Thanks everyone for the replies

Well, he doesn't know that I've seen this. He doesn't even know that I have access to his Facebook information right now. He changed the password, wrote it down, so that he wouldn't forget it, and I saw it. He has no idea.

And yes, I know this isn't "cheating," but it makes me feel uncomfortable. Also, my boyfriend has never mentioned this person before. My boyfriend initiated the conversation and added the guy himself. It also worries me that he actually agreed to go on a date with someone else.

Anywho, thanks for all of the advise. I really do appreciate it!

Oh I see, you went behind his back... Lovely.

Such relationships rarely end well.

Good luck with the trust issues.

[Hayden]

Oh I see, you went behind his back... Lovely.

Such relationships rarely end well.

Good luck with the trust issues.

Clearly someone hasn't seen "Mr. and Mrs. Smith."

Duh....