My coming out....
03-02-2013, 12:11 AM
So.... this may sound crazy people, but I just turned 30 on Tuesday the 26th!! and with that age came this sense of enlightenment about my sexuality. I have come out to a handful of family, my three sisters, my mom, my grandmother and one of my brothers within the last month, and they are all supporting of me! HOORAY FOR ME!!! RIGHT?!?!?!
My mom was on board but shocked. She like my grandmother are very non-judgmental and could care less as long as I am happy. It surprised them both.
My three sisters were the same way. I am the oldest sibling, so the oldest of the three sisters is lesbian and was excited that she wasnt the only gay sibling.
Of my three brothers only the oldest of my three baby bros knows. Hes just as accepting and wants me to be happy. The middle of the three youngers bros we dont talk, and my baby bro is a pig headed asshole and talks in a very simple minded and scumbag way about gay people. He has a right to his own opinion, just doesnt need to belittle and talk shit about his older brother and speak badly about anyone who is gay.
Well the biggest one to come is my wife. I have been scared out of my wits for a long time over this. We have been married for 11 years this coming April. We have three beautiful kids together and i wouldnt trade them for anything!!
This past sunday after we put our kids to bed, while sitting on the couch my wife asked me what was wrong, she could tell I had been down and not myself for quite some time. I told her there were things weighing on my shoulders that I didnt know how to tell her or talk to her about! She said I can always talk to her and I know this.
So as I was laying on the couch and she was rubbing my head, I told her that since I was 10 I've had a secret only myself and a few other people(being boys ive messed around with) had known. I told her she would think differently of me and she insisted that I tell her. So I told her that my first kiss was with a boy and that I had fooled around with a few boys over the years leading up to high school. I explained to her that growing up, my Father, Step-father and Grandfather would never have accepted me that way. So to please them and make them proud of me, I was "straight".
Surprisingly she was understanding and asked me what it was I wanted out of life. She also made the " The last 13 years of our life has been a lie" statement. Which I told her it was not. I genuinely care for and love her. She is the mother of my children and has been my best friend for 13 years. She then asked me if I knew what I wanted. She wants me to be happy and be strong for our kids. She asked me to talk to someone outside of our marriage, friends and family. Luckily I have been seeing a therapist for a couple years and I did so today.
I told my therapist the situation, I came out to her also and she congratulated me and told me the best thing for me and my wife in this situation is to remember that no matter what the most important thing in this is the happiness of the children. Which i totally agree with. She also believes that if I love my wife and care for her as a person I will set her free and will also make me free and there isn't any reason why we cant be civil to each other for anything with our kids.
So now the hard part is talking to her this weekend, and making a decision. Things have been really weird around the house since sunday. I know shes processing it all. I just need to finally be happy and be myself.
This is going to be difficult!
My mom was on board but shocked. She like my grandmother are very non-judgmental and could care less as long as I am happy. It surprised them both.
My three sisters were the same way. I am the oldest sibling, so the oldest of the three sisters is lesbian and was excited that she wasnt the only gay sibling.
Of my three brothers only the oldest of my three baby bros knows. Hes just as accepting and wants me to be happy. The middle of the three youngers bros we dont talk, and my baby bro is a pig headed asshole and talks in a very simple minded and scumbag way about gay people. He has a right to his own opinion, just doesnt need to belittle and talk shit about his older brother and speak badly about anyone who is gay.
Well the biggest one to come is my wife. I have been scared out of my wits for a long time over this. We have been married for 11 years this coming April. We have three beautiful kids together and i wouldnt trade them for anything!!
This past sunday after we put our kids to bed, while sitting on the couch my wife asked me what was wrong, she could tell I had been down and not myself for quite some time. I told her there were things weighing on my shoulders that I didnt know how to tell her or talk to her about! She said I can always talk to her and I know this.
So as I was laying on the couch and she was rubbing my head, I told her that since I was 10 I've had a secret only myself and a few other people(being boys ive messed around with) had known. I told her she would think differently of me and she insisted that I tell her. So I told her that my first kiss was with a boy and that I had fooled around with a few boys over the years leading up to high school. I explained to her that growing up, my Father, Step-father and Grandfather would never have accepted me that way. So to please them and make them proud of me, I was "straight".
Surprisingly she was understanding and asked me what it was I wanted out of life. She also made the " The last 13 years of our life has been a lie" statement. Which I told her it was not. I genuinely care for and love her. She is the mother of my children and has been my best friend for 13 years. She then asked me if I knew what I wanted. She wants me to be happy and be strong for our kids. She asked me to talk to someone outside of our marriage, friends and family. Luckily I have been seeing a therapist for a couple years and I did so today.
I told my therapist the situation, I came out to her also and she congratulated me and told me the best thing for me and my wife in this situation is to remember that no matter what the most important thing in this is the happiness of the children. Which i totally agree with. She also believes that if I love my wife and care for her as a person I will set her free and will also make me free and there isn't any reason why we cant be civil to each other for anything with our kids.
So now the hard part is talking to her this weekend, and making a decision. Things have been really weird around the house since sunday. I know shes processing it all. I just need to finally be happy and be myself.
This is going to be difficult!
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
You already say things have been "weird" around the house... and moving fast since you say you are going to talk to her and make a decision :O 
