Gays in Military

[NeedAdvice]

Now that it's legal to be out in the military, I was wondering. So many military men cheat on their spouse. I've heard of men who were in a happy relationship with their wife for 15+ years, still full of romance and stuff, but end up cheating only months into the service. It's so easy to cheat since so many women like men in uniform and throw themselves at em, they're allowed to sleep with other opposite sex soldiers (with some limitations), and the chances of the spouse finding out is almost zero.

But, this is usually for straight men and women. How do you think the new ability to be openly gay in the military will affect whether gay men and women cheat on their spouses? I assume before they didn't since they didn't wanna get caught with another person of same sex, but now.. what do you think?

[HomeagainNYC]

Since technically to cheat on your partner you have to be in a relationship; wouldn't this presumable mean that you were already in a same sex relationship? To me it stand to reason you were risking getting "caught with another person of [the] same sex" before the policy change?

If a person is a cheater then unfortunately they cheat - gay or straight - political policy decisions usually have little to do with it.

[darunzahn]

Right, cheaters will be cheaters, but with the policy change now there's less caution needed to be taken and there's a more open and stronger possibility for inter-military relationships. I'm sure it'll happen in time if it hasn't already.

[dfiant]

I don't think sexuality or how you identify sexually has any bearing on weather someone is more or less likely to cheat.

I also don't think gays in the military will change anything either, because this may be top secret stuff I am about to reveal...there will be no more gays in the military after the repeal of DADT then there was before the repeal.

[Lilitu]

I think ultimately, there are unpleasant people who are unfaithful to spouses.

Although now its legally acceptable to be caught cheating as a gay person, it makes it no less acceptable morally.

I.e: good people will be good and bad people will be bad, as much as before.

[NeedAdvice]

I was just going after the new freedom of being caught being gay/bi. Before, they would've thrown you out of the military and your military career would have ended, and that's with a dishonorable discharge I think. Now, since that fear is gone, though someone still might not want to be outted, they have one less (big) fear to sleep with another guy while they are there. And it seems like a lot of guys cheat, even the good guys since it's so easy.

Was just wondering since a guy I kinda like might be leaving for the military and it's well rumored (and apparently many can verify) that the military, among other things, is like a bath house full of horny people.

[Pix]

Was just wondering since a guy I kinda like might be leaving for the military and it's well rumored (and apparently many can verify) that the military, among other things, is like a bath house full of horny people.

Worse than that, it's got a terrible reputation for rape culture, and more than one (including former rape crisis counselor in the Army) have emphatically stated I should not enlist. A few military (and ex-military) have even said outright they're against gay men in the military because "men are rapists" (at least soldiers). Here, let me find an example...ok, here:

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2010/11/25/ju...-straight/

“Lesbians should be allowed to serve, gay men should not,” declared Joe Rehyansky in an article published Monday. Rehyansky, an Army veteran who served in Vietnam, is a part-time magistrate in Hamilton County, Tennessee, and a former assistant district attorney.

In the original article, Rehyansky concluded that his lesbians-only policy “would get the distaff part of our homosexual population off our collective ‘Broke Back,’ thus giving straight male GIs a fair shot at converting lesbians and bringing them into the mainstream.”

That alarmed some LGBT activists, who note that much of the article before that comment argued that men are rapists by nature. Rehyansky’s argument that gay men should continue to be banned from the military was based on this notion:

"[S]houldn’t the overwhelmingly straight warriors who answer their county’s call be spared the indignity of showering with other men who achieve lascivious enjoyment from the sight of those lithe naked bodies, and who may be tempted to seek more than the view? They are, after all, guys.

In the early evolutionary years of the human species, Rehyansky argued, “It fell to men to swing through the trees and scour the caves in search of as many women as possible to subdue and impregnate — a tough job but someone had to do it.”

(Btw, he became a civilian judge whom those accused of sex crimes appreciated, though IIRC he lost his job because of extreme sexual harassment of women in the court and/or extorting sex out of women at his mercy as a judge.)

IOW, they fear gays will treat them the way they treat women. I can understand that fear, but not understand why they think we should consider them heroes just because they rape women instead of other men (especially when hate propaganda of enemy forces portrays them as rapists showing they know rape is evil and yet pretty much condone it, or at least shrug it off as "boys will be boys" and even go after women in the military who report rape with false accusations and dishonorable discharges, and one time even charged her with being lewd when she "willingly" gave it up to gang rapists to discourage further accusations from victims).

That aside, and not to confuse the following with rape, there's also the long history of like WW2 training vids for soldiers on how to use condoms while in port (that is, with prostitutes) and even back in the 19th century the War Department (now called Department of Defense, IIRC) even supplied prostitutes who were medically tested regularly because they got sick of their troops being unable to fight (which was much more important back then) due to venereal diseases, at least until the fundies managed to put a stop to it. And the things I overheard Vietnam Vets sharing what they did on I&I ("Intoxication & Intercourse," IIRC, their term for R&R, and btw also included a lot of illicit drug use as well), I thought I'd heard it all having been around prostitutes when I was a runaway in Houston (not that I was one myself) until I heard some really freaky stuff from them (btw, more than one straight man loved having anal beads used on him...). Though I can't help but wonder if that's a military thing or just a "young male" thing. :tongue:

Oh, and btw, a cousin married a soldier and told me I should, too, because the military does tend to take care of soldier's wives and strongly discourage divorce. This was a purely business decision, however, and it was understood by both sides that while he was away he was allowed to play...and so was she.

[NeedAdvice]

.........

Oh, and btw, a cousin married a soldier and told me I should, too, because the military does tend to take care of soldier's wives and strongly discourage divorce. This was a purely business decision, however, and it was understood by both sides that while he was away he was allowed to play...and so was she.

So what you're saying is if the guy goes off, he's basically gonna be fuckin around a lot. Great.

[jimcrackcorn]

Statistics have shown that gay men still remain closeted even with the demise of DADT. Having sex on a military facility (including ships) is a punishable offense, regardless of whether your gay or straight. Military personnel who are separated from their boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses for extended periods of time will have a higher rate of cheating, just as they have a higher divorce rate. People get lonely when separated from their girlfriends, boyfriends, & spouses,,, and when an opportunity to cheat presents itself, some will fail to resist temptation (good grief, that last part sounds religious).

So,,, If your boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse is going to be separated from you for long periods of time, the chances of cheating increases. This doesn't mean your significant over will become a cheater, it just means the odds of cheating have increased.

I was in the Navy for 20 years, and never cheated on my partner when we were separated during my deployments overseas. The opportunity to cheat did present itself many time while I was separated from my man, but I kept my goodies in my pants.

I learned early in my relationship, that hanging out with friends whom I was not attracted to, helped me avoid a situation where I might be tempted to cheat.

[gilhooly]

To hell with the military. Join the marine corps. Marines are taught to love one another and to defend each other. As a young man, I had so much sex in the marine corps, I can't believe I didn't stay in. A good marine is a pagan at heart. He keeps himself open to new experiences. Best of all, he keeps his zipper in working order. It was so easy to talk a marine out of his pants, you would think gay men invented the marine corps.

Semper Fidelis. I loved being a marine.