Too funny not to share

[Spades]

Im not up on the current dance moves....

Whats that one called?

It is called the faceplant, I'd give him a 8/10 for style but a 10/10 for commitment.

[HomeagainNYC]

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how handsome John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of Johns' sexual orientation and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Mark and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Mark came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a e-mail just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a e-mail from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Mark, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Mark. But the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed, he would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"

[Aeneas]

[MisterTinkles]

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how handsome John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of Johns' sexual orientation and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Mark and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Mark came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a e-mail just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a e-mail from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Mark, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Mark. But the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed, he would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"

[MisterTinkles]

[MisterTinkles]

Did you hear about the gay bank robber?

He tied up the safe and blew the guard.





Q. Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch?
A. He's down to four butts a day.


Q. Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London?
A. They were REALLY pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.


Q. What's the definition of "Tender Love?"
A. Two gays with hemorrhoids.

Q. What does a poof and an ambulance have in common?
A. They both get loaded from the rear and go whoo-whoo!


Q. Did you know 70% of the gay population were born that way?
A. The other 30% were sucked into it.

Q. Hear about the new gay sitcom?
A. "Leave it, it's Beaver."

Q. Why did the gay man take two aspirin with his Viagra?
A. So sex wouldn't be such a pain in the ****.

Q. Did you hear about the two gay judges?
A. They tried each other.

Q. Did you hear about the gay truckers?
A. They exchanged loads.

Q. What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools?
A. A fruit stand!

Q. What's the biggest crime committed by transvestites?
A. Male fraud.

[Sport77]

These small packets (exactly condom sized) come with every clutch kit that we get. If I had I dollar for every time I tossed it to a customer whose face turned beet red I'd be rich$$. Being that the clutch is made by the Sachs company of Germany I also tell the customer "always practice safe Sachs" Gets loads of laughs every time.

Of course the actual name of the product is shaft lubricant (high performance of course)

Mechanic's humor can be bad!

[HomeagainNYC]

[Spades]

[Lalo]

Believe in the impossible!!