Do I tell him off?

[jnr586]

Just wondering what you all think of this. I met a guy online a little over a month ago. We really hit it off and it seemed promising. Had a first date. Great time, I couldn't believe how much we had in common. After the date we texted a lot and he told me that he really liked me and if we were closer he would have stopped looking for somebody else altogether. He lives a few hours away but sometimes comes to my area for work. We didn't get the chance to meet up again for about 3 weeks because both of our schedules but we texted nearly every day. We were openly seeing other people but I was still encouraged. Finally had a second date which in my opinion was just as fun. He wasn't perfect for me but I was definitely interested in more dates and he acted similarly. We shared our first kiss - nothing more - that night.

Afterwards we talked for a few days as we had been, trying to organize the next date. Very suddenly he stopped answering me altogether. Finally he got back to me when he said he was really busy and just needed a vacation and he was really stressed and ignoring most of his friends. I told him I understood and said let me know when things are better or if I could help. Nothing. So a few days later I just texted him and said what are you doing this weekend? Nothing. It's been 4 days.

I'm sure he met someone else or he decided I wasn't so great after all. It is what it is and I don't really care anymore. I'm just disappointed that he is that inconsiderate of others to just drop me with no warning. I kind of want to send him a final message letting him no I'm sorry he ended things this way, but I'm debating if I should be the bigger man and just let it go.

I don't really care if I ever hear back from him. I want a relationship and can't have one with someone that is unreliable and flaky. Thoughts?

[pellaz]

dont see how telling him a two or three that he already knows will do anything. Just move him to the bottom of the list.

[Aeneas]

"I'm just disappointed that he is that inconsiderate of others to just drop me with no warning."


but he DID warn you. he said he is really busy and stressed which in wussy speak means you're out. and then he probably deleted your number around the time you offered to *help* him which he interpreted as "no please don't leave me".

few people if anyone will ever tell you exactly how they feel in this sort of situation. they want to avoid conflict, arguments and/or to hurt the other party. so things like "i'm just not that into you" are as rare as diamonds. instead we hear "its not you, its me" - which is exactly what he said when he mentioned his problems.

if they dig you, they won't share their problems with you (not after two dates), and if they genuinely have problems they will work something out to see you and be with you.

delete his number right now, is my advice. anything you write to him at this point will make you look even more needy and pitiful. don't give him that pleasure.

[dfiant]

It is what it is and I don't really care anymore.

If you were telling the truth, you wouldn't be asking this question.

[HomeagainNYC]

but I'm debating if I should be the bigger man and just let it go.

Be the bigger man and just let it go.

[jnr586]

Thanks! Contact deleted! Appreciate the sound advice.