I wasn't totally sure about Grindr but now I am. Thanks for the info. Seems that If you want just one night stands, thats the app to use.
Definitely not what I'm looking for to find a monogamous relationship.
Aeneas- Sorry it ruined your relationship, but I know that you made the right decision.
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It's definitely possible to be addicted to Grindr and the like. Yes, it would ruin my relationship to know that my partner was online with other guys. I think you made the right move, Aeneas.
That being said, I sorta kinda met my bf on Grindr. He came on to me at a dance, but we didn't exchange numbers or anything. Months later we recognized each other on Grindr. We met before we dated, and dated before having sex. Once things got serious between us, I uninstalled Grindr. I don't need that kind of temptation. He feels threatened by me even spending time here on Gayspeak, so our boundaries with online sex are clear, lol.
We have been flirty with other guys when we're out together, but that's more of a turn-on for us. We have no intention of hooking up with them. Sometimes it's just fun to see other men attracted to my guy, and know that he's going home with me.
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i wouldnt have any quarrels in showing a BF i post on this site. i dont think he would consider this a dating site.
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Grindr changes the history of gays. Both in good and bad way.
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Addicted to Grindr? NOPE! Addicted to PORN? Yep. Addicted to food, booze, drugs, buying stuff: YES.
I don't think this is as much an issue of an addiction to Grindr, rather, a guy who CONSTANTLY needs to be validated as "desireable."
Look, men as a species are vein and frail. And for some, like your ex, even in the PERFECT relationship, he'll have a nagging fear that he's "settled" and that there might be someone else better out there for him (and we're talking just about looks and body - sexual attraction). It's not that he's NOT attracted to you, he both FEARS there might be someone HOTTER than you AND, he needs to know that that HOT GUY is interested in him.
now, all that said, does that mean he's a cheater? Not necessarily. My partner and i have been monogamous for 3 years..we're VERY happy, have a great sex life and we both have accounts/profiles on pretty well-known hookup sites. Our profiles make it clear we're not looking to cheat, lie or hookup...just online to meet new friends and chat with old friends.
We trust each other 100%. We both go on each other's accounts at will, because we both accept the fact that it FEELS GOOD to know there are guys out there who find us attractive and desireable. The DIFFERENCE is, we know that those feelings are JUST feelings. It feels good to know a hot, guy with a big dick and a hot body likes one of us.....but we both know that the total quality and quantity of what makes us a strong couple can't be replaced with someone in an online profile (most of which, as we all know, have probably lied about some or all of the image they post on a profile.)
It's more about being secure in who you are - then who you want to be or want others to belive you to be. It's about being mature and honest. If he just was honest with you about why he's on grindr and that he's not looking to hook up and cheat - the discussion with him might have gone differently.
Clearly, by his jealous reactions, there IS something in him that wants to be with you. ANd unless the email you got from him talked about meeting for sex - it's really more an issue with him having poor self-esteem and self-confidence.
Now, if his email and profile make it 100% clear (and i mean CLEAR) that he's looking for random, no-strings-attached-sex - then all of what i posted above dosn't apply. He's a guy who's more into sexual conquest than being in a committed relationship (with you or anyone else for that matter.)
does this make sense to you?
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Virgo
mh:
