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03-10-2013, 12:00 PM

To ask a guy if he likes men? Of course you can't know by just looking.

03-10-2013, 12:21 PM

Depends on the person. In most cases I'd say yes, at least based on my own experience.

03-10-2013, 12:33 PM

You could ask what sexuality he has and tell him that you do not "presume that everyone is straight". That's what I usually do. If I ask people if they have a partner, I usually ask "Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?" to guys and "girlfriend or boyfriend" to girls. I could just say "Do you have a partner?" But since I am so highly annoyed at the heteronorm, I can't help but provoke at times xD.

Either way, he can't take offence to the fact that you don't take his sexuality for granted. I would recommend that you ask him of his sexuality, rather than if he likes guys. That way, you are not presuming anything, verbally.

03-10-2013, 02:54 PM

I would never ask a guy that, i will know if they like me or not, gay or straight, and that will do

03-10-2013, 05:24 PM

To be contrary, no its not alright.

While maybe most (definitely not all) will not fly into 'fists of rage' for asking, a lot of them will think you are saying they 'act' gay in someway.

You need to be careful, get to know the guy a little. Talk about GLBT issues a little first, such as what their opinion is on Gay Marriage. If you find they are tolerant about LGBT or are at best indifferent, then you can 'pop the question' without offending.

I usually do the coming out routine - I tell them I am gay before I ask their sexual orientation. This way the assumption is not that I think the are gay, but that since I am gay I have a general curiosity.

Of course that is well after I establish that they are at best indifferent to LGBT, I do poorly at fist fights :tongue:

03-10-2013, 05:33 PM

Oh I could never come out and just ask that. But that's just my personality. Whether it's "Right" or not, I don't know.

Mick

03-10-2013, 05:41 PM

hank Wrote:To ask a guy if he likes men? Of course you can't know by just looking.

If you are both in a gay bar, gay parade, gay sauna, gay _____ then it is usually ok to ask away... if not then unless he has just locked lips with you or flirted in some overt way Flash

I would keep it safe and start a conversation around the subject similar to what Bowyn Aerrow has suggested.

03-10-2013, 06:12 PM

Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:To be contrary, no its not alright.

While maybe most (definitely not all) will not fly into 'fists of rage' for asking, a lot of them will think you are saying they 'act' gay in someway.

You need to be careful, get to know the guy a little. Talk about GLBT issues a little first, such as what their opinion is on Gay Marriage. If you find they are tolerant about LGBT or are at best indifferent, then you can 'pop the question' without offending.

I usually do the coming out routine - I tell them I am gay before I ask their sexual orientation. This way the assumption is not that I think the are gay, but that since I am gay I have a general curiosity.

Of course that is well after I establish that they are at best indifferent to LGBT, I do poorly at fist fights :tongue:

Thanks, this is really why I asked. I don't really fit in on the "gay seen" my city has a big one. But I am not 22 with a six pack. To be honest I can't stand clubs. I would like to try meeting people in a neutral environment. The problem there is can't really tell who is and who isn't.

03-10-2013, 06:16 PM

gay population is about 3% slight chance he is gay unless there is something that tips the scale.
-Location; gay ghetto location of town?
-You dont let on a totally homophobic look and someone is gay they could let on that way ... gaydar is a 2way thing.
-never hurts to have friends, no reason gay or straight you cant talk to the man. take it slow.

03-10-2013, 06:41 PM

hank Wrote:Thanks, this is really why I asked. I don't really fit in on the "gay seen" my city has a big one. But I am not 22 with a six pack. To be honest I can't stand clubs. I would like to try meeting people in a neutral environment. The problem there is can't really tell who is and who isn't.

Hmm and you are 6'9" and no doubt are 'straight acting' meaning you do not look/act/behave in typical 'gay' stereotypical manner.

To be honest these other two factors may play against you in getting an honest answer from guys.

There are homophobes who play this game with guys they suspect are gay, they ask the right questions and get the guy feeling safe enough to come out to them, then comes the hatred.

I have no idea what the climate is in Texas when it comes to LGBT. If there is a tendency toward more homophobia, guys may be far less trusting of the questions and even a 'straight acting' guy claiming to be gay.

It doesn't hurt to build a bit of a friendship up first, build that trust. I am sorry that the world is wired to make this so much harder than it really needs to be.