My Insecurties

[Anonymous]

I am a very insecure person, to a point where if I want to talk to someone, I get scared. I feel that I am not “good” enough for there friendship or love. Sometimes at night I lie there awake basically beating myself up for being like this. It’s up to the point where I’m not blaming a certain aspect anymore (E.g. Too shy, too quiet, cant keep conversation, not pretty enough). I just wish I could shake these feelings. I’m not sure if it’s self esteem anymore. Am I crazy? I’ve already been through puberty, so why do I feel this way? The saddest part is that sometimes I want to go to certain extremes to just feel better about myself (Surgery, eating disorders) I don’t maybe because subconsciously I know there is more to it than just a simple word. Thank you for reading.

[Counselor]

I'll tell you a secret: everybody has insecurities, but worrying about these insecurities is counterproductive to moving beyond them. Beyond the internet, some people are afraid to talk to me, these people are sane with their fears and deal with them accordingly, and I begin each acquaintance at face value: this is the first time we've met, I don't need to be the best person you've ever encountered, nor do you, and I will simply be human and honest and allow you the same courtesy. Placing people "above your station" is not healthy for your esteem, and it ruins a possible friendship. They are human, too.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Courage is not lacking fear, courage is just doing something and looking like you are not afraid.

People wear masks all the time. We all hide our inmost thoughts, some of us do it a bit too well, others don't do it well at all. But by and large, assuming a person is healthy and has emotions, we all have our 'issues' and fears and insecurities.

You most likely will never shake those feelings (No I won't lie and say you will), you will, however, learn how to cope with them and move about the world as if you don't have those through practice. That means get up, go out and face those fears and pretend like you don't have them.

BEFORE you start having an eating disorder or something along those lines you may want to seriously consider counseling. A therapist will most likely help you to discover the "why" behind these issues, knowing the "why" can be half the battle. Then a therapist will give you tools you can use to deal with the emotions that these situations bring in you and the tools to deal with these things in a constructive manner.

Or you can make the mistake I made and rely on heavy applications of street drugs to give you are false sense of security and false courage. That didn't end well for me I doubt it will end well for you....

[pellaz]

story:
i was walking through the supermarket and over heard a mother talking to her young son how this minority or that race you have to treat different because they are soooo this or that way. Keeping the details out of it here.
Considering all the sins I have committed, i at that point I feltthe larger person and would not want to be that mother. I was the better person knowing I would not even think that way. I was happy I never had parents like that.

take stock of the strengths you have, no one else will.

[Pix]

Courage is not lacking fear, courage is just doing something and looking like you are not afraid

I just wanted add that the saying is courage isn't the absence of fear but the mastery of it. I have a lot of fears but they don't dominate or cripple me, but they do inform me (and I add how many grains of salt I think that fear needs, taking appropriate precautions when I think it's warranted but not being paralyzed by it). When I say someone is brave I also see them as fearful, but they manage to be stronger than the fear, or even better, learn how to use it (fear can sometimes add strength and resolve when properly tapped).

As for those who don't feel fear...I consider them naive at best, and not courageous or brave at all, anymore than a toddler is "brave" for sticking something in an electrical outlet or wandering into traffic, because how can they be brave without awareness of danger or somehow fooled into believing they're immune to it (like people I've known who tempted fate saying things like, "God is bigger than any mugger")? (But if they're aware of the danger and do it anyway not feeling fear just to tempt fate for the thrill and prove their "bravery" then the word I'd use is "stupid," a common vice of teens, and again that's at best.)

As for relationships, I've always had fears. Sometimes I consider the fears very justified and heed my fear (sometimes staying away), other times I consider the risk worth the potential (even likely) gains and proceed in spite of my fears (along with reasonable precautions). And I generally keep a positive attitude, one person isn't all people, I can learn & adapt, and everyone has a bad day (so just because someone is cold or rude to me may be because they're feeling ill, some jerk cut them off in traffic, they got bawled out by someone, suffered some great disappointment, etc, and otherwise not really me they're snapping at).

[MisterTinkles]

You must still be young, if you just went through puberty.

If thats the case, you are just growing up, becoming an adult.

As others posted, everyone has insecurities...thats just human nature. Youre just going through another phase of growing up, where all of these thoughts and feelings bombard you.

I wouldnt worry too much about it. Most of us all went through the same phase. I know I did. Even through myself some MAJOR pity parties when I was in my teens. Boy, how embarassing that is to remember!!!!

I will tell you this...you will find at least one person who "gets" you and in becoming friends with this person (or people), you will realize that everything you thought was pretty silly.....because this person (or people) like you, like what you have to say, and think youre pretty damn good looking too.

Just push yourself a little, to get out there and make it a point to at least say "Hello" to a complete stranger every day. And when you look at yourself in the mirror, say out loud "those are just silly thoughts running through my head, thats all".

Im one of these people who tends to "overthink" a lot. This can cause a "cluttered head". Try to keep your brain busy with other things. Hobbies, mental games, reading, singing, painting, dancing....whatever. Keeping your brain busy helps with keeping your head from these thoughts cluttering up your day.