How to know if you are ready to dat?

[livingproof]

I've been really lonely. I'm scared to go out to places to meet people, and every guy I see I feel I have to like b/c I'm scared I'll never find someone else. I've had 2 relationships. Added together they lasted a month and a half. I feel like I just need someone to save me from this. But how can I be sure if I'm ready to date really? I just seem so lost all the time.

[livingproof]

also yes a silly spelling error *date

[VileKyle]

What I've always told myself is if you aren't complete by yourself, no one else will ever complete you. It's not a question of whether you are ready to date. Rather, it's a question of why you are looking to date. dating should be natural and pleasant. It should never be something used to fill a void. I know it's hard, since I'm single too. Just try to take it slow and focus more on yourself rather than who you need in your life.

[Beau]

Dating can be scary. Especially the first time with a new person. You need to overpower your nerves and just do it. The nervousness will not go away no matter how long you wait.

Don't put too much pressure on yourself the first few dates. Consider it more like hanging out with a new friend and go from there. It's all about checking for compatibility. Not looking for a sex partner. The sex comes later assuming you find the right person.

[Kiid]

You will know cos it will just happen.
Don't force it to happen or else it won't work

[pellaz]

dating is a mixture of a lot of things like; finding a best friend, a mentor, finding someone to share with. Its important you are all those things with your self to start off with.

[ThatRobGuy]

For me, I did not start dating until I went through some self-improvement and changed some things about myself. I couldn't expect someone else to like me wholly if there were things about myself that I recognized I needed to change. Also, I think until you are satisfied with yourself, your family life, and your work life, a relationship will be difficult to juggle if you still need to also work on these other things. When I started dating, I was satisfied with all of these aspects of my life, I just then wanted someone to share that life with.

[seeking]

For me, I did not start dating until I went through some self-improvement and changed some things about myself. I couldn't expect someone else to like me wholly if there were things about myself that I recognized I needed to change. Also, I think until you are satisfied with yourself, your family life, and your work life, a relationship will be difficult to juggle if you still need to also work on these other things. When I started dating, I was satisfied with all of these aspects of my life, I just then wanted someone to share that life with.

i have the nearly same feeling as what uve written.
if i dont feel satisfy about myself, i dont feel like ready to let somebody like that "me"

and maybe it's not a good idea to wait for someone to save u from this - save yourself. when u did it you'll feel much more ready. You, are always the best person to help yourself. :biggrin:

[livingproof]

Wow everyone thanks! I think what I really need to do is focus on my self esteem. Thank you all

[Lycanthropist]

The approach I've taken, and I don't remember where I heard it, was to love when you are ready, not when you are lonely. I keep my feelings in check when I'm feeling down because I know within myself that anything I jump in to is not going to have a good outcome.

If I may leave you with one other nugget. Be careful what you wish for as you just may get it. That may not make a whole lot of sense right now, but when you get older and look back on your life... Yeah, you'll see it. So many times I've wished whole-heartedly for (usually someone) and if I were lucky, yada, yada, yada, I sure got what I wished for and not in a good way. You know the 'test'? Beauty, emotional stability, and intelligence. Pick two. Rarely will you find all three in one package.

Self-esteem can be very difficult to improve but it can be done. Good luck to you!