Im not sure what a total bottom is but im assuming that im one because all I ever do is bottom. I dont want to be a total bottom because bottoming all the time can be painful FOR ME. Its hard to hook up with a guy when you just top or just bottom. My friends are all versatiles and they can easily hookup with a guy no matter what his position is because they like to do both but me im only able to bottom and most dudes are versatile and end up wanting me to top them sometimes. I tried to top but i couldnt get hard enough to penetrate another man. Whats wrong with me lol Do I have a brain wired like a female. Im not fem or anything but it seems i have some mental block with topping. I topped once and it felt good but I only lasted 5 minutes lol and i have only been able to top once. But I want to become more versatile because it makes finding a companion easier and when i meet a guy who penis is too big i can top him instead of topping me.
Why is it that im not able to get hard enough to top and can i become versatile ever or am i stuck being a total bottom forever
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I am bottom, i do not look at men in a different way, i dont question it really, you may find different positions less painfull, ask them to begin gentle and work up, or do some research as to why your not getting hard enough, or maybe your finding guys that your not attracted to enough sexually, maybe everything else is there but not that, i dont know, just thinking aloud, hope you get it sorted
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I used to believe I was a total bottom, but after a while I decided to become more open to trying topping. Now I much more prefer being the bottom, in fact if I could just bottom I would happily. I always preferred bottoming more because you're being more trusting, and vulnerable letting someone else inside of you.
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Just gotta find a guy you know well and are comfortable to try with , and does not mind a beginner as of such , i was just a bottom until my current bf he made me feel comfortable enough to try and now i enjoy it more than bottoming
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I'm no expert, but I imagine there are many reasons you could have a problem topping. It could be physiological, psychological, or a combo.
The first question: can you get hard enough on your own? If you can get rock hard by yourself but not when you're trying to top, then you have a psychological issue going on. That's something you can examine and change, though it may take time and the right partner. If you never get hard enough, then things may be more challenging. Find a doctor you trust to explore that one.
Is the only reason you want to top so that you have more of a chance to hook up? Or does the idea of topping turn you on? If it's just to increase your odds but the spark isn't there, you may be barking up the wrong tree... so to speak.
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Why not start dating women, this way you can really open up the playing field?
If that is an odd idea, then I have to ask you to look at the bottom/top thing in similar fashion.
Yes most likely you are hardwired to be a bottom. There is no shame there.
Trust me, if you are not meant to be a top you will not enjoy being a top - Just like going to bed with a woman doesn't mean you will enjoy it.
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Dude...stop trying so hard. If you are a "total bottom" so be it! Be proud of who you are. Don't let a sex role define you. Really! We in the LGBT community need to get over our hang-ups about this kind of thing. Besides, life is one long continuum of chance. Sometime in the future, you may find yourself in a situation where you are a "complete top" with a particular partner. If so, relax and enjoy it. And if that doesn't happen, then be happy being a bottom. There are no "right" and "wrongs" here.
I was watching a movie the other day and one of the characters called another character a "bottom boy" in a public area. I was appalled that the gay crowd reacted with snickers and finger-pointing. Granted, it was a stupid gay movie from ten years ago, but nonetheless. It did point out how much further our own community needs to grow.
So go have fun. Be a "bottom boy" if you want, and be the best damn "bottom boy" that you can be!
![[Image: tumblr_lq1v5mWc811qbbjkro1_r1_1280.png]](https://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lq1v5mWc811qbbjkro1_r1_1280.png)
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Geminize Wrote:I'm no expert, but I imagine there are many reasons you could have a problem topping. It could be physiological, psychological, or a combo.
The first question: can you get hard enough on your own? If you can get rock hard by yourself but not when you're trying to top, then you have a psychological issue going on. That's something you can examine and change, though it may take time and the right partner. If you never get hard enough, then things may be more challenging. Find a doctor you trust to explore that one.
Is the only reason you want to top so that you have more of a chance to hook up? Or does the idea of topping turn you on? If it's just to increase your odds but the spark isn't there, you may be barking up the wrong tree... so to speak.
Yea, I don't have an erectile dysfunction! I get hard all the time when watching porn. I get hard when I see a sexy guy that I like and I jerk off with my well endowed penis lol. But when I try to top I lose my erection. And to be honest, I dont remember the last time I was hard when bottoming... I can't remember the last guy I was with who turned me on... I have topped before once but that was with a guy I was really turned on by. My ex boyfriend from years ago turned me on... I got hard when we had sex but the last few guys I think just didnt turn me on. I was also emotionally connected with him so maybe that was the difference
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Lalo Wrote:Dude...stop trying so hard. If you are a "total bottom" so be it! Be proud of who you are. Don't let a sex role define you. Really! We in the LGBT community need to get over our hang-ups about this kind of thing. Besides, life is one long continuum of chance. Sometime in the future, you may find yourself in a situation where you are a "complete top" with a particular partner. If so, relax and enjoy it. And if that doesn't happen, then be happy being a bottom. There are no "right" and "wrongs" here.
I was watching a movie the other day and one of the characters called another character a "bottom boy" in a public area. I was appalled that the gay crowd reacted with snickers and finger-pointing. Granted, it was a stupid gay movie from ten years ago, but nonetheless. It did point out how much further our own community needs to grow.
So go have fun. Be a "bottom boy" if you want, and be the best damn "bottom boy" that you can be!
I never said I wasn't proud to be a bottom. Why would u assume that I'd be a shame of being a total bottom? I just want to be more versatile. Sometimes bottoming for me can be painful and sometimes I want to be more versatile so that not only will I have more options sexually but I will expand the number of men I can potentially date or hookup with.
Being a total bottom makes it hard to date because there aren't many men especially int he philadelphia area who are total tops
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Mattlj92 Wrote:I used to believe I was a total bottom, but after a while I decided to become more open to trying topping. Now I much more prefer being the bottom, in fact if I could just bottom I would happily. I always preferred bottoming more because you're being more trusting, and vulnerable letting someone else inside of you.
Have you ever topped or attempted too?
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