sex the wrong way?

[Riteseateide727]

I have only had sex with one man, and I don't really know how I feel about it. When we had sex, it was painful for me but I didn't want to say anything about it at the time, but should it hurt just a little bit the first few times? I am really just in the dark about this subject, him & I want to keep having sex but we want it to be an enjoyable time, not a painful one..

[Bowyn Aerrow]

If it is BDSM it hurts all the time, in a really good way :biggrin:

I'm going to assume you meant anal sex and it was just 'making love' not meant to be rough.

Being on the receiving end of anal takes a little experience and a lot of lube for it to not be painful. Initial entry can be painful all the time for a person, however that is easily gotten around with a little fingering first.

Relaxing into it takes a little experience - the idea of having something shoved up your anus will cause you to tense up until such time that you get used to it and know that it won't really hurt.

Foreplay and getting excited also helps, much of sex takes place in the brain, if you are really excited your pain threshold increases to where it takes more pain in order for you to feel it as pain.

A great beginners position is spooning. Both of you are on your side, he is behind you.

He positions himself at the back door and you do all the wiggling and pushing back, this way you have the control and can relax into it. Once in rest a bit, allowing yourself to adjust then the action can start. After a few minutes you will find that its far easier and less painful to try other positions.

Lots of lube - lots and lots.

Even a 'lube enema' before you all start. This is basically squeezing a bit of lube way up in there that way there is a lot more lube to work with.

In time, and with regular sessions the pain will greatly diminish.

[Riteseateide727]

Thank you for the advice, but does it ever start to feel good?

[sheffield]

Thank you for the advice, but does it ever start to feel good?

There's no definite answer to that, because it depends on the person so much. Some people never feel good during anal sex, and then some people (like me) have fully enjoyed and felt good about anal sex since the first time and I guess most of the people are somewhere between. With time you'll find out, right now I think at least some of that pain is caused by your inexperience, so you shouldn't make your decisions yet. Try it more, maybe next time your sex partner can just use his fingers and not to try penetration at all, and maybe you can get a small dildo and try it on your own.