My first boyfriend, and I'm stressed AF.

[ILikeTheNight]

Alright, so I'm 17 years old from Canada. I recently befriend a girl in my math class, she is openly gay. She was a really nice, down to earth person who I could trust, so I spontaneously came out to her like after a week of knowing her.
She thought that was really cool, it gave our friendship a whole new dimension.
But this is where this story takes a completely different direction.
I told her about how I wanted to meet someone, so she told me about a friend of hers (my age), who is openly gay and goes to another school. She said she'd be totally cool with "getting us to meet".
I'm really conflicted right now; I'm in the closet and would like to keep it that way for now, but I don't know how this guy would feel about that.
On top of that, I've never been in a gay relastionship before. It sounds kind of short-sighted of me to ask, but it's just not something I'm used to. I'm not ready to come out to anyone, but I want this to happen, so it'll be like leading a double-life, where I'm a straight guy to my friends and a lover to this guy. Any advice, anyone been through that?
If anyone here could give me any advice at all, it would be so appreciated, I just need a little guidance right now...
Thanks guys.

[Gyrix]

No harm should come from meeting him, and if it goes well you might find an incentive to come out officially. If you'd rather your friends and family know before you go off dating guys, tell this guy what your intentions are. But if you'd rather do some experimenting before finding confidence in your sexuality to let others know, I'd tell the guy to keep it on the down low, I'm sure he'll understand what it's like in the closet

[Miles]

Well you haven't even met the guy yet. Maybe you could take a few steps back and go into it looking to be friends first. If you're from separate schools that might make it easier to swing the whole staying-in-the-closet thing if anything more comes of this.

[Spades]

I was in the reverse situation a couple of years back, I am openly gay and he is still in the closet. We were both out of school and living on his own at the start but his family moved in with him later on. Him being closeted was never a problem for us, our friends knew we were in a relationship, but his friends never knew. We did talk about him coming out, but our relationship ended before that happened.

Something that I learned from that is that if the openly gay guy is really into the other, it doesn't matter. So my advice would be to meet the guy, be friends as Miles suggests and tell him your situation

[OrphanPip]

You're just 17, I wouldn't worry that hard about it. There's no guarantee you'll hit it off with this guy and even want to date. I did have a relationship in high school, at 15, that lasted a year and ended in a bad sort of way. However, the question of being out wasn't much of an issue. Although, a friend I went to high school with had the balls to bring his boyfriend to the grad dance when we graduated, frankly I wish I had the sort of courage at that age to do that. You regret the things you didn't do more than the things you do, so don't be afraid to take a chance.

[ILikeTheNight]

Thanks everyone. I'm just coming to terms with all of this - I've never been open about my sexuality with anyone and this is the first time I'm going to romatically engage with another gay guy, so it's really nerve wracking. But I'll take all of this to heart; I really appreciate it Much love!

[pellaz]

meet up with the guy, get to know him, dont get off on the closet stuff if he dosnt ask
if this works out see if your ground rules are acceptable to him, both of you be flexible

[HomeagainNYC]

You might be putting the cart before the horse.

Right now you have no idea of who he is, or what may or may not happen yet. There are a whole range of options open to you; why don't you start with - first things first - just meet him?

Then you can start to look at some of the options - should you chose.

[Counselor]

You should try proposing before you meet him.

[partisan]

I was in situation where I was seeing a guy, and I wasn't out to my friends or anyone, it can be horrible to always be looking over your shoulder
as for saying about advice coz you never been in gay relationship before, that's just what you got to learn on your own, you are individual so are they, what exactly you asking
As for not being out and worried about leading a double life, I'm sure everyone agree that not healty, and should decide and not let it be a weight on your back
OK all the best