Why is it so hard to let go?

[ansonian]

I met a guy three months ago and things were going really well. We were great together and seemed so well connected. Obviously, I fell madly in love with him. I told him 2 week ago about how much I liked him. He said he felt the same for me but he didn't think I was the right guy for him. I was very confused, hurt and angry.

That night, I wrote him an email saying that I won't see him anymore.

I am usually a rational person but I just find the emotional state I am in, a bit ridiculous! My head tells me I have done the right thing as there is no future in it for me. But my heart tells me that I still want him so much.

Why is it so hard to let go? Can anyone help please!

Michael

[Counselor]

You did the right thing. It's better you both agree to end it if only one of you is in it, that way the break is clean and you both can work on getting back to your centers. It hurts, and it seems like it won't heal, but you can be happy without him.

[sheffield]

My first crush was something like that (and one relationship after that as well). I liked him, he liked me, but after we spent summer holidays separated, he told me that I wasn't the right guy for him. Later he wanted to see me again, but I didn't want to do that, because I was hurt. I was very emotional afterwards and didn't understand what was going on, but later when I began to think rationally, I also understood why we weren't meant to be together and I agreed with his decision not to continue together.

Emotions usually take control when you're attracted to somebody, and you can forget to think about anything else than the good stuff. Later you probably can understand better, what were the reasons for his decision, and maybe you can even agree with him.

[ToddYoung]

If he's telling you you're not the right guy for him, and he's sticking with that position, then yeah, you've done the right thing.

As far as letting someone go, I'd be just about the worst person you could come to for advice. I can stay hung up on someone for so long, it's ridiculous. Even months after seeing them I'll still be pining. But the one thing I've learnt, if I've learnt anything, is that you really do have to just let it go. All you're going to do is hurt yourself.

[ansonian]

I know I have done the right thing but its just so bloody hard to let go. But I know I must. Thanks for the advice guys.

[sacredcake]

Hi ansonian,

As everybody said, you did the right thing, I've been there before and that's exactly what I did, in the beginning it feels awful until you meet up with a new guy who also thinks you're the right one for him. So, chin up and up to the next one