Sometimes it doesnt "pay to be gay"

[MisterTinkles]

Have you ever been around someone, worked with someone, had a family member, or even a stranger find out your sexual preference and then make a big freeking happy stink about it?

I have, and I DONT like it. I find it pretty much offensive.


Here is an example of what I mean.....

I had a co-worker a few years ago that had a lot in common with me, so we ended up talking a lot.
After about a year, some other employee got it in their head to "spread it around" that I was "gay", even though they knew NOTHING about me. They were just one of those types that only live to make other peoples lives miserable.

Anyway, word got around fast, and next thing I knew, my co-worker friend came up to me one day with a HUGE smile on her face and shrieked "ARE YOU REALLY GAY"?????!!!!! I told her "Im not "gay" but I prefer men".

All she heard was "yes". She started jumping up and down (not a lot, more like a peepee dance) and was talking loudly and telling me she had ALWAYS, ALWAYS wanted a "gay friend", every since she was a teenager.

This was SO fascinatingly ludicrous, I just started laughing.

We hung around each other a lot more, she even invited me over a few times for Thanksgiving and Christmas (she's got a big family). And she introduced me as "my gay friend".

UGH! What to do. I understood what she was saying, but how it came out of her mouth.....SHEESH. I had to sit her down one day and explain to her, Im just a human being....no more special or worse than any of her other friends. I had to politely explain to her that designating me as "my gay friend" was off-putting (I didnt tell her it was offensive, but she got the idea).

She understood and was sorry about that...I told her it wasnt a big deal, but if Im a friend, then thats all she needed to introduce me as.

I was a new shiny toy to her at that time. I can tell you, it was some freeking weird feeling too.

So, I went from being her "gay friend" to her "best friend"....which I can very much appreciate.

We are still friends to this day. I dont think theres anything I could do to piss her off, not that I would even attempt it.....but its just the fact that she thinks Im SUCH a better person for being gay that just cracks me up.



Ive had a couple of these types of "episodes" in my life. Sometimes though, I would just love to say, "Oh hell no, I aint gay", just to avoid the whole "OMG I KNOW A GAY MAN" dance party.
But then I would be lieing, and that, I cannot do.



Anybody else have something like this happen to them???
How did you handle it?

[Counselor]

You've allowed yourself to become an accessory, like a bangle or a handbag? I'm surprised.

[ceez]

That's part of the reason why I would rather stay in the closet, I don't want to be treated any different. And of course the other reason is living on the bible belt I'm glad you explained everything to her.

[Pix]

Sounds demeaning, but I think I'd prefer it to the passive aggressive attacks or attempts at seducing me that straight men sometimes engage in with me, or even the rare woman who wants me to want her even if she doesn't want to actually hook up or form a relationship with me (and might even feel insulted if I don't). But maybe I'd change my mind if some guy started introducing me as his lesbian friend.

I laugh imagining it.

I recall finding Andrew funny in an Angel ep where he explains the Slayers, including this line: "6 months ago, Buffy, Vampyr Slayer extraordinaire, had her lesbian witch make with the beaucoup de magie." Yeah, I know he's trying to be as cool, exotic, and awesome as he can be, but "her lesbian witch" really was pushing it. Good thing I was already laughing or I might've been offended.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Yeah that has happened several times for me, and each time I felt a bit bent out of shape over the whole deal. This is one of the reasons why I don't 'advertise' my sexuality.

"I always wanted a gay friend!"

Is that to go with your token black and your token jew?

That is the question that comes to my mind...


I'm uncertain if its some sort of bigotry or if people are really that idiotic to think that having a token __________ (fill in the blank) improves them as a person or something.

Jumping for joy, clapping hands in enthusiasm - and they call us gay?!?!?! Hmmm.

[megumidesu]

i've met a lot of people who have wanted me to be their "japanese friend"
it's really , really irritating ~

[partisan]

Yes, this, can, be, the, problem, can't, it, your, Gay ,and, nothing, else, that, defines, you, honestly, if, someone, done, song, and, dance, to, me, I, would, be, gone, by, the, time, they, looked, up

[pellaz]

That's part of the reason why I would rather stay in the closet ...

you wish your hidden but good friends and family suspect. Cut the rumor mill and say your gay.

[dvdbwn]

it's good that you said something to her... they're never going to realize their faux pas unless you say something. i think there's a special quality to the gay guy/straight girl relationship... not sure what it is exactly, maybe safety, but there's something there that makes it worth seeking out for a lot of girls. girls often don't get along with other girls and with girls and straight guys there can be sexual tension getting in the way of the friendship.

as for me, with all the rejection and violence towards gays seems silly to be put off by acceptance... even at the dance party level! woot woot! bring on the party!

[VileKyle]

All she heard was "yes". She started jumping up and down (not a lot, more like a peepee dance) and was talking loudly and telling me she had ALWAYS, ALWAYS wanted a "gay friend", every since she was a teenager.

My ex-wife did that crap too with almost the exact phrasing. I was still in the closet at the time, but it pissed me off and made me feel sorry for her so-called gay "friends" she was collecting. I'm glad it hasn't happened to me, but I dread the day it does.