Amazing Guy, But Has HIV

[Brendan]

I've simply had too many condoms break for me to ever feel safe being with a person who is HIV positive.

[ThatRobGuy]

To the OP, I do think it was cold of you to start ignoring his texts and calls after he told you. I'm sure he knew this was possible when he told you and that he was risking that, but if you weren't comfortable with him having HIV, you should've just been honest and said so. There's nothing wrong with saying, "While I would love to continue talking and being friends, I can't see this progressing further." He either will or will not want that and you two can go from there. It's hard enough coming out to people as gay, I can't even imagine having to also "come out" as HIV positive. At the same time, I do feel he should've been up front about it. I probably would have asked why he was hesitant to confide in you that information previously.

With all of that being said, as a negative person, there is no circumstance where I could see myself being involved with someone who is positive. It's just not worth the risk to me and while I understand I may be risking a life full of love and bliss, medical well-being is more important to me.

[historical]

I am astounded that in the 21st century there are so many hivophobes in the gay community - you think there would be more tolerance to this issue these days - it's bad enough these people face a daily battle from homophobes without getting this added abuse from within our own community - makes me so angry!!!

[Ekwarph]

It's even less dangerous having a relationship with a man who is seropositive but who knows his serological status than with a man who doesn't know. Moreover, depending on the viral charge of the s+ guy, you can be sure in certain cases it will present no risk (when this charge is almost null). Well, I wouldn't advise to take the risk but it still bit less dangerous than with a man who is not s+ in who you have to trust about his fidelity.
Just be careful, but there's no reason to end up a relationship because of that.

[Medstud]

if he is undetectable, you're actually safer with this guy than any random hook up that claims to be "neg". Many discordant relationships exist of this nature, and the HIV neg partners are safe as long as their partners are in check.

HIV is no longer what people perceive it as, it isnt a death sentence and certainly not another depiction of contagion.

[Will101]

You should see "Queer as Folks" Ben-Michael relationship... Where Ben is positive...
Well... You should think on your own in my opinion, and ask yourself. Do i like him that much? To commit myself and sacrifice one or two things?
Think about it . Cuz if i were you... And that guy don't like me that much, i wouldn't lose any time... But if he drives me crazy in love, ( and for what you said about the cute things, i think he does) i will make an efford. For him, for us. That doesn't mean you will get infected YES or YES. From what i've been reading... There's some things you have to take care of before you and your partner have sexual relations... And that's all. Like a lot of users already said, is not 100% that you will not get infected... But either that doesn't mean that you will . Search on the internet about the things you have to do before sex. They are just a few . If you think he deserves it, take a chance on him.

[MisterLove]

Take all the necessary precautions and give him lots of love.

[Edward]

If you really think he's amazing and you would like to be with him, you can. I've never had a partner with HIV, but I believe it's not very different. Just stay away from blood, should something happen and use condom when making love.

You should also consider that he probably will not have much time to live. So maybe instead thinking about HIV so much, you should think about if you want to be together with someone who will probably die sooner than you. If you fall in love with him seriously, the loss of him will hurt a lot.

[Eros]

That wasn't the question presented in the OP. I could throw out a ton of hypotheticals as well.

I'm thinking of it from the HIV guy's side. He's risking giving a horrific virus to another individual. If he really cared for this guy, he'd stay far away. Not lure him him and tell him he's HIV positive 6 months in.

There are plenty of HIV positive people he can date with no risk. Don't risk the people's lives if you really care for them. It's clear this guy doesn't really care. That's a red flag in my book.

Maybe he can't find the right person with HIV, I mean, that person is just like you and everyone here, he has the right to fall in love, so please stop saying "There are plenty of HIV positive people he can date with no risk" maybe he's just tired of emotionless relationships? maybe once he had a dream about finding the right guy and grow old together? just because he has HIV doesn't mean he can't be happy too...

idk, maybe you are right and I don't know about it because I've never known a person with HIV positive...

[SeaDevil]

You would think that "pos" people would seek out other pos people for this reason, but the reason behind that is, they are scared of dying alone.

Yeah, not so much. Lovely of you to speak for a group of people you're not part of so knowingly. You should give the WBC a ring, they have some heartfelt advice for you.