splitting up horror

[Preston1407]

I need help I recently ended a 1 and half year relationship due to his lies and deceit all the furniture and stuff we bought he wants half as his money was paid into my account but his salary only covered the basics half the rent half the food and so forth my credit card and loan I made to buy the stuff is still not paid up what can I do legally to protect myself from giving him anything as I am actually paying it and can prove it

[Undreamt]

The laws in different countries can make it tricky for us to tell you what rights you have.

you might want to find out if your relationship was recognized as a defacto relationship or if you were just housemates.

contacting a lawyer is probably best if you can't talk rationalize with him.

I have no idea if this is legitimate or not but I would argue if he wants half your stuff then at the very least he should also get half your debt.

[cardiganwearer]

Only go to a lawyer if the stuff is valuable or you want to piss money up the wall. Anything of value, particularly small stuff, put into storage or a friend's garage/shed (preferably not a mutual friend).

If he's moved out and not paying rent, change the locks. If he wants your stuff let him pay for a lawyer.

I'm not a lawyer, I'm just some bloke on a message board, for all I know people are behind bars for taking my advice.

[jimcrackcorn]

What can you do legally to protect yourself in this situation?

Answer: Keep all receipts showing you are the one who bought these items, and all statements showing you are continuing to pay on them monthly.

Plus - keep any records (bank statements, etc.) that show how much the X-boyfriend contributed to the household. It would also be a good idea to keep the rental agreement and all the Bills that show how much you spent on gas, electric, water, etc. All this paperwork should be sufficient to prove your X-boyfriend wasn't helping you pay for the items on your credit cards.

Good luck.

[MisterTinkles]

If you can provide proof of payment, with your name or your credit information, then usually you have the rights and the other party doesnt.

More than likely you will have to sue him. But I would see if there is any free legal counsel available in your area and ask.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Tsk tsk.

Settle - out of court. Be generous but don't give up everything.

You are going to lose something get used to that idea. If you take it to court you not only have a good chance of losing a lot, but also being charged to have it taken away.

Everything you had BEFORE the relationship is yours, Everything he had before the relationship is HIS.

As for the stuff gotten as 'us' - Be a little reasonable and 'pay him off' just to get him out of your life. Whatever that means, the stove, the fridge, the loveseat and couch - the bed - some object or cash he can carry away and not come back and pester you for more.

Of course in nearly every one of my break-ups I ended up leaving with just a duffel bag of clothes and some personal items. I am real good at leaving households of crap to the other person, even those who landed me up in hospital.

Ultimately, it is all just 'stuff'. Giving up some of it to get peace of mind and a reasonable security that he won't turn around and try to kill you for that stuff is worth the loss.

[colinmackay]

As others have said, it depends on what sort of relationship you had and what the laws are in your country. However, if you were not in a civil partnership/union or married then most likely if you paid for it and its only your name on the loan/credit card then it is yours.

I've been in the situation with an acrimonious split and I just wanted out and I paid up (out-of-court) just to end it all. 10 years later I still have a chunk of that to repay. Looking back I wished I had fought it (It is not fun having to buy your own home again even when you were paying all the mortgage yourself the first time around), but at the time I couldn't deal with the viciousness of the verbal attacks I was receiving.

[Aeneas]

whatever you do, try and be fair.

i find it a tad hard to believe that he is irrationally expecting to keep half the furniture knowing you bought it all.

perhaps talk to him before going to the lawyers and show him the rationale behind your posture - he might believe his money that was deposited in your account also covered the purchasing of the furniture - and as you can prove you bought it using your account, he may too be able to prove his salary was going straight into your bank.

[Preston1407]

Thank you to everyone for tha advice been to see a laywer and he is entitled to nothing infact he is being sue'd for half the outstanding amount on my credit/loan account thank god I kept all my receipts for tax purposes he has no foot to stand on now and the drama will be over soon once again thank you all for your contributions

[Rainbowmum]

Try to negotiate a suitable split for both of you , as hiring a lawyer will only get more debt.