Im sorry if im posting this in the wrong place I just really don't know where else to post it, So lately ive been on dating sites and what not and I met a man around 2 months ago who at the time I believed to be falling in love with, but then he told me he just wanted to be my mentor through the gay world which really just killed the image I had of him especially when he said that he was just their to prepare me for the special someone in my future. He and I are more then 20 years apart (yes I tend to like the daddy types, but no I do not go after "sugar daddies", I like older men for who they are not what they have) anyways getting back on topic this week I was sick and stayed home for a good amount of time, I tried chatting with him but he did not message me at all, I then go and talk to some guys online and find this really kind guy who I start chatting with and we hit it off but 2 days later he just stops talking to me for no reason which makes me feel like a complete and utter waster of space, after 3 days of getting no replys from my "mentor" he messages me trying to comfort me but then stops messaging me again an hour later he messages me to confirm are usual meeting. I tell him yes, and that was 2 days ago. Tomorrow is our usual day and he's not answering me either he is hurt which i'd hate to hear, or he is being a complete and utter ajfnafkna I just don't know I guess I just tend to get attached to people way too fast, which i was told was a good and bad thing, oh another thing the other guy told me I was an old timer stuck in an 18 y/o's body and I actually liked that because I hate being so young. Well enough of that little rant this got off topic too much, idk any advice for what im going through? even though im not really sure what that is...
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The guys sound like creeps. The second guy who ditched you after 2 days probably thought things were progressing too slowly and was looking for a NSA hookup. First guy sounds like he's taking advantage of you. My advice, ditch them and find someone better. Like someone who wants to spend time with you other than during a weekly meeting and who doesn't think of himself as a trainer.
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OrphanPip Wrote:The guys sound like creeps. The second guy who ditched you after 2 days probably thought things were progressing too slowly and was looking for a NSA hookup. First guy sounds like he's taking advantage of you. My advice, ditch them and find someone better. Like someone who wants to spend time with you other than during a weekly meeting and who doesn't think of himself as a trainer.
[SIZE="3"]Yeah, what he said.
The one thing Ive found in "gay life" is that 99% of them are nothing but players. They want nothing more than to fuck with your mind. They might act nice, thoughtful, or sweet...but in reality, they want nothing more than to lead you on to dump you. They get their cheap thrills this way.
It is VERY, VERY difficult to find someone to be honest with and who will be honest with you, like you for who you are, and tell you the truth. BUT THEY ARE OUT THERE! Its a lot of work though.
Whats the saying????
"You got to kiss a LOT of toads before you find Prince Charming"??[/SIZE]
I turned 50 this year, and Im STILL kissing toads!!!!
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Thank you for your reply's I really appreciate the advice.
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MisterTinkles Wrote:[SIZE="3"]Yeah, what he said.
The one thing Ive found in "gay life" is that 99% of them are nothing but players. They want nothing more than to fuck with your mind. They might act nice, thoughtful, or sweet...but in reality, they want nothing more than to lead you on to dump you. They get their cheap thrills this way.
It is VERY, VERY difficult to find someone to be honest with and who will be honest with you, like you for who you are, and tell you the truth. BUT THEY ARE OUT THERE! Its a lot of work though.
Whats the saying????
"You got to kiss a LOT of toads before you find Prince Charming"??[/SIZE]
I turned 50 this year, and Im STILL kissing toads!!!!
What Mr Tinkles said makes a lot of sense to me as I recently had a similar situation happen to me.
I had 3 nights of chat with someone that I met on POF with some phone conversation as well. Seemed like I met someone nice.
When I met the guy for dinner, he was a completely different person!!?? He was right in front of me, yet he was really "not there"?! At times I had to drag conversation out of him, plus he made several trips to the bathroom during the dinner, using various excuses, presumably to answer/send messages with some other guy(s) on his phone.:mad:
When I meet someone for the first time, I want to know what's above his shoulders, and not what's below his belt. It seems to me, that every man has a penis, but few have hearts or brains.
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MisterTinkles Wrote:The one thing Ive found in "gay life" is that 99% of them are nothing but players. They want nothing more than to fuck with your mind. They might act nice, thoughtful, or sweet...but in reality, they want nothing more than to lead you on to dump you. They get their cheap thrills this way.
I highly doubt that's exclusive to "gay life".
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The "mentor" seems to have some introduction left for himself. Gay relationships function the same way straight relationships do.
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Kevinowo Wrote:... I just tend to get attached to people way too fast ...
yes you get attached to people
-define what type of relationship, tho marginal, you would profit from. what is the minim you need? Enjoy the current person for the friendship++ sex.
-keep your dating age with in 10 years. Relationships that last are difficult under the best situations, why complicate things.
I think he is telling you he dosnt want what you have to give. Take what he has. Hope this works.
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I would try to keep the dating withing 10 years range but I just really don't find young guys to be attractive theirs one every so often but most seem to be just unappealing. Especially since most of the young ones in Houston are over feminine from what ive seen. Also I want a relationship to have that special someone to come to and be comforted by when I come home or just be held by and have hour of conversations of our day, to have him in my arms at night as I sleep and mostly because I believe im ready for one I want to put my heart out there and see if that special someone will hold it and cherish it for me. The sex is nice but really its not needed, it would just be a bonus imo.
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It sounds like "what is going on with you" is that you want a relationship that is more than just sex. Bravo.
Your "mentor" wants sex with someone 20 yrs younger. More than just sex, he probably enjoys feeling attractive to someone so much younger and believing he has experience and wisdom to share. He may be a kind, sensitive, wonderful guy in many ways, but he is not looking for the relationship you want. And he may just be taking advantage of you.
I agree the 2nd guy likely just wanted to hook up. That's most of what you'll find on the dating sites. It takes time and a lot of filtering to find the other guys who want more. It's worth it though. If you are the type to get attached to people fast, you need to be careful. You could be in for a lot of disappointment. That's not to say you can't trust people, just be careful where you place that trust.
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