Actually Pix,we didn't have sex.He just let me sleep in the same bed with him only head to feet and feet to head.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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If he was a closet case, he was intensely frustrated. If he was straight, he was just an asshole.
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This sounds bit familiar to me, it sounds as though he was attracted to you, and being so insecure and confused about these feelings, acted in that way toward you, i absolutely agree with geminize - if you had come on strong at the right time, he wouldve gone with it, but ended ugly.
Though one thing for sure - what a k**b
(Ps - miles is right sometimes a thank you is just not enough)
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Yes,I agree. It seems the majority of people think he was curious but hated the fact that he could have those feelings.
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Not gay. He is an abuser.
One clue here is that you were in this 'friendship' a follower. He most likely allowed you to sleep in his bed to see how much authority he had over you, not sexual, but in general.
Abusers follow the same sorry path over and over again. They start out witty, charming, wonderful, they also pry just a touch to discover your weaknesses, they test you to see how willing you are to allow them to lead. Once they are confident that you are theirs to do with as the please, then the abuse starts.
Straight/Gay/Bi isn't the issue here, the real issue is that he is an abuser. He found him self a nice docile male to beat up on (you) and to slap around. Most likely he got bored with being 'powerful' over the weaker sex (women) and did get off on the power trip he had over you.
Lets say you were 100% totally out at the time, I can assure you, regardless of his own sexual preferences he would have lead you on, got you to be 'addicted' to him to make it easier for him to exercise that authority and you would be just putty in his hands.
The bed, the 'innocent touching' all of that was to see how eager you were to please him and be with him on a psychological level (not dating). Abusers work that way, they will pretend to be much in order to get their next victim.
If he could pull it off, he most likely would pretend to be a woman to get a lesbian attached to him so he could have a new victim to torment. That is how this mind set works, they will do anything to secure that next 'meal'.
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Hi abcd1234,
Unfortunately I have more questions than answers at this point - I would like to know more about the incident that led to the slap in the face because my gut reaction, like everybody else's I think, was that it seems completely out of order - was it literally an out of the blue thing, or did he feel antagonised perhaps ? Or ... ? There is clearly no justification for it regardless, but it seems very puzzling.
I know plenty of heterosexuals who wouldn't think twice about topping and tailing - quite often it's done because of a shortage of sleeping space, lack of decent heating, etc. It doesn't infer any kind of sexual proclivity or preference.
I'm also interested in the anti-gay slurs - you say that you didn't come out to him, which is of course fair enough, but ... do you think he twigged that there was some sexual attraction there and that is what made him snappier towards you ? Or ... ?
Finally, the length of time between the incidents and now - we're talking an appreciable number of years - has this just been massively weighing on your mind ? Or ... ?
Cheers,
!?!?! Shadow !?!?!
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If he was gay and interested in you in "that" way, he would have made a move on you.
As he had female "roommates" and just had you around to bitch slap and make fun of......I expect he was a fag basher of the most fucked in the head kind.
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Advice on Strange Guy
