Is my husband Gay?

[Armandork]

I'm just curious but uhh may I ask if it would really matter all that much if he came out as bi?
I mean from just wanting and enjoying sex with you (and that you're married) I can probably assume he's either straight or bi? O: So... I'm just curious here.

[Pix]

A guy wanting to be penetrated by a woman is not gay anymore than a woman wanting to be penetrated by a woman is straight.

It might be a sensual thing, an imagination thing (some get hot because they think it's so nasty or taboo, they'd otherwise be bored with it if they thought nobody would freak on finding out about it), or just pure curiosity (and thus likely to lose interest after a few times, maybe even one time).

If you want to read more on sexuality there's this article that also explores the fascination (and likely reasons why) many straight men have with penises, especially on a "chick with a dick."

http://www.utne.com/Mind-Body/21st-Centu...addam.aspx

[MisterTinkles]

LOL

Sorry, not laughing at you....thats just funny, cause a friend had the same issue with her husband.
An no, he's not gay or bi.....he is completely hetero.

His thinking was that this is a new thing to him and it excited him because it was something new and interesting.
He had questions too, but he didnt have anyone to talk too about it because he was too embarassed about getting caught.

That was years ago though. They talked it out, my friend saw she had nothing to worry about, and they have been happy since.

She did tell him if she ever caught him looking at porn on the pc at home she would break his legs. So, he's been a good boy. If he has any concerns or strange "needs" he passes it by her first....she's a very intelligent and highly monogamous person (like me, ha ha)....so she can forgive a lot of his "indescretions" on the pc as long as she knows about it first and they make arrangements so the kids arent home.

I dont know how you would bring up the subject to him, but Id talk with him about it. He's probably just curious about the tranny thing. It does freak some people out and others are curious as hell about it.

Im sure its nothing to worry about.....just male curiosity.

[Brendan]

Watching transexual porn ABSOLUTELY does not make your husband gay or bisexual. I know plenty of totally straight guys who get turned on by it.

I don't know what to make of his desire for anal penetration. It does feel good, and maybe its just a way for him to spice things up in bed.

You should know that even if he is bisexual that it shouldn't change things between you two. I'm bisexual and I've had zero difficulty in the past being loyal to my previous girlfriends.

[Counselor]

Hello all. Recently I was doing a clean up on my laptop and notice some random sites(I work in IT so this is something I do regularly for my pc). My husband and I DO watch porn so at first I was not real freaked out but once I read exactly what he was watching, I was concerned. He had been watching, "chicks with dicks," "gay black tranny" etc....

I had been on another forum and was told that the best people to speak too would be someone on a gay forum. What do you think? Should I be worried? Recently he has been infatuated with my butt and he likes me to stick my fingers in his...

I hope this doesn't offend anyone...I just need to know if I should approach him on this or let it go....We are newlyweds and I would hate to spend our marriage in dishonesty...especially for him...he would deserve what he really wants...if that is what he wants.

Thanks

This, coupled with your subsequent posts makes me think more along the lines of a fetish or fixation, not repressed sexuality. He's a brave man to trust you so well with what he wants in bed, and if he was truly trying to hide something from you, I would think his degree of trust was odd.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

I guess I am really just afraid of his reaction. I'm afraid he will be less open with me if I ask...I guess probably the best thing to do is see if anything else happens and if I get real worried, I should probably ask...

Well done you for having the "balls" (excuse the pun lol) for even raising this subject not only here and somewhat anonymously, but in broaching the subject with your hubby. The fact that you ARE talking about it, and he is being somewhat open to you is actually a very positive sign.

As long as your gentle in the questioning, supportive of his exploration and don't jump to any unfounded conclusions about his sexuality, then your actually doing just fine. In fact your doing more than that. Most partners would not raise this subject and bottle it up with sometimes explosively destructive results.

Dont be afraid to discuss what does and doesn't work for you however. Remind him that the enjoyment of any physical sexual act has to work both ways.

As others have said, lube, more lube then lube some more ;-)

Good Luck
ObW
X

[BGuy80]

I think you should confront him. Ask him if this is just fantasies or something he's questioning

[unkown21]

Hi hunny, you don't need to be worried. Today's access of porn is so vast it's crazy. I have heard that when people usually start viewing pornography, it starts pretty vanilla, and as soon as you get bored with it, the kinkiness knob gets turned up a couple notches, and then again when they get bored with the last they move up again. My bestie told me that her fiancé embarrassingly admitted to her that he likes anal play on him, and my girlfriend asked me if that was a sign of being gay, and of course I told her no. I mean since it's a legitimate concern to have, i dont think it would be a bad idea to talk with him about it. Be gentle and try to be understanding as best you can. Hope this helps!

Huggs