jerking off

[Anonymous]

Hey guys
I am hoping for your thoughts on something... While in a committed relationship do you jerk off solo or only with your partner?
I'm engaged and we have a rule set that we don't jerk off alone. I wanted to know your thoughts


(the reason for the rule is because my now fiancé was caught 3 different times camming with random guys... a few months in to our relationship. That was about 3 years ago)

[Kiid]

I still do duno about anyone else but you shouldn't have to give up on it cos you are in a relationship.

[Spades]

When I was in a relationship we both used to jerk off alone, while watching porn or cam, but never ON cam.

[Corsac]

Its being quite controlling by telling your fiancé that he can't masturbate alone, I can understand you were hurt by catching him on cam but there is no way you should be telling him what he can or can't do alone. You don't sound like you're not very trusting of him by enforcing this on him, how would you like it if you were the one being told that you weren't allowed to masturbate alone? It's pretty unreasonable in my opinion.

[rmf]

I don't do it alone either.... never have really. He says he's perfectly fine with it. I just wanted to know what other couples do.

[Undreamt]

Honestly i'd be surprised if they were actually doing that. You can't stop them when they are in the bathroom or having a shower.

Eh i'm rather open minded about alot of things anyway, i'd be more concerned that your bf was doing things behind your back rather than without an open and honest conversation with yourself.

if he needed relief on cam and he felt he had to hide it from you then there are obviously gaps in the relationship that should be investigated and patched

[Pix]

I consider masturbation and sex to be 2 different things. Masturbation is generally meant to be a solo act which is purely selfish (nothing wrong with it and I think it can help make one a better and more considerate lover later on) though it does get into a gray area when doing it with someone else. Sex is about sharing and communing with each other. Perhaps ironically I masturbate more when I'm having sex (obviously not at the same time) because when I'm not having sex then my sex drive drops (I think that's because my imagination fuels my sex drive and I don't think about anywhere as much when I occupy my time in other ways).

So I do it alone, and I generally expect others to do it alone (not to say I'd refuse to watch or put on a show, but as I say that's more of a gray area). They don't have to think about me, or they can think the most shocking thoughts desired (that's not to say I necessarily need to know the details...)

However, doing it on cam is doing it with another person (for that matter, being on the phone with someone while doing it), and THAT I consider cheating (unless for some reason I gave permission for it). It's really only a step better (though significantly safer) than masturbating in front of someone else in a restroom. Again, to me masturbation is solo and within one's self, sex is sharing, and putting on a show via a cam (certainly in person, and even by phone that's purely talk/text) is intimate sharing, and therefore sex (or close enough). Conceivably I could agree to it and then it wouldn't be cheating, but I still wouldn't consider it pure masturbation.

[bluefox4000]

I'm married and I jerk off. Not near as much as I used to, but it happens.

Mick

[Miles]

If a prospective partner insisted I didn't polish the pole when alone, I'd tell him he's nuts and start polishing right there in front of him. Or perhaps demand that whenever I need to polish that he drop everything he's doing and come do it for me so I don't do it alone. That way we both hold each other to it.

[LateBloomer]

I'm totally with Pix on this one.

My partner and I masturbate when we're away from each other for a long time (more than a week, I guess).

But for me, camming would be a BIG PROBLEM for exactly the reasons Pix explained.