Agoraphobia

[Rae]

So, anyone else here suffer from agoraphobia?


Mine is pretty mild in the fact that I can still go out and do things, but if someone talks to me I kinda get freaked out and become a deer in the headlights. What's worse is when someone I only know a little tries to touch me. I feel myself become so stiff I'm surprised they don't notice, or that I can even move enough to "hug" them back (me being polite will kill me one of these days)!
I also have a massive fear of cars, and while I do drive a cute little Mazda2, I don't like it and refuse to go anywhere further than my doctor's office which is about a 20 minute drive on a good day. I also freak out when others are driving, though it doesn't help that my father drives fast and my mom doesn't use turn signals.
Like I said, I'm pretty mild, and I've come a long way from my worst point which is when I refused to even get in a car, and when I had to, I got physically sick. I also barely left my own house for a while.
I'm proud to say I've been to an amusement park and only had one breakdown, and I hope to one day get to the point in my life where I can travel without having too many panic attacks. My current goal is either London, England to see my boyfriend OR Dublin, Ireland to study the folklore (just going off a rumor but I've heard Dublin is a fae hotspot).
I have big dreams and with the right mix of therapy and medications, I really do think I can do it.

[MisterTinkles]

One step at a time.

The trick is to do small things, one at a time. Then do them again and again until they dont affect you anymore.
Then take a slightly bigger step to something else. Then do that again and again until it doesnt bother you anymore. Then go a step further....and then another step further.....etc....

If you try and force yourself, you might end up having a relapse and have to start all over again. Dont take on too much and dont force yourself.

If people seem concerned or "freaked out" by what you do, just explain it to them. Decent people will understand. If they dont understand, then you dont need them around you.

[Udabar]

I have a friend who is like that and I used to go over to his house all the time and play board games with him all the time. Eventually I was able to get him to go to a pool party with me one time and we just sat in the corner away from other people and he started to get a little more tolerant after almost 50 people tried to talk to him while he was in the corner. I haven't been able to get him to go to a club with me at the point, but I will get him there one time. I'm surprised he is able to go to work everyday.

[Counselor]

I agree most people with driver's licences leave their common sense after ignition. I curse well because of this.

As for the xenophobia, I try to think that most people mean no harm, but if things get out of hand, I keep the phrase "STEP OFF BITCH I'LL CUT YOU" close at hand. Never used it, but it makes me feel safe.

[Mirage]

I don't know if its agoraphobia or social anxiety, but I'm the type of person to be hideously shy and reserved around any strangers for the longest time. I keep to myself, I enjoy my privacy and I quake like a leaf if I'm thrust into the spotlight unceremoniously. It sucks because a lot of people take my shyness and nervousness around others to be a sign of aloofness or rudeness on my behalf, and that's not the case at all.

But yes, it takes a great deal of coaxing from my friends to get me to venture out and be "part of their world"

[Wade]

I don't know if its agoraphobia or social anxiety, but I'm the type of person to be hideously shy and reserved around any strangers for the longest time. I keep to myself, I enjoy my privacy and I quake like a leaf if I'm thrust into the spotlight unceremoniously. It sucks because a lot of people take my shyness and nervousness around others to be a sign of aloofness or rudeness on my behalf, and that's not the case at all.

But yes, it takes a great deal of coaxing from my friends to get me to venture out and be "part of their world"

Am I now drunk posting under the pseudonym Mirage?

I have a friend who is like that and I used to go over to his house all the time and play board games with him all the time. Eventually I was able to get him to go to a pool party with me one time and we just sat in the corner away from other people and he started to get a little more tolerant after almost 50 people tried to talk to him while he was in the corner. I haven't been able to get him to go to a club with me at the point, but I will get him there one time. I'm surprised he is able to go to work everyday.

You're a good friend. Some people get tired of their agoraphobic, insular friends and just decide they're not worth the trouble (citation: personal experience).

[Miles]

It sucks because a lot of people take my shyness and nervousness around others to be a sign of aloofness or rudeness on my behalf, and that's not the case at all.

This is something I worry about sometimes, that people will mistake my inferiority complex and resultant reservedness for a superiority complex. And the very nature of the problem makes it hard to clear up the misunderstanding. How do you just blurt out "HEY I DIDN'T SAY HI TO YOU EARLIER BECAUSE I'M AWKWARD AS HELL AND DIDN'T KNOW IF IT WAS APPROPRIATE AND IT'S JUST EASIER TO AVOID IT ALTOGETHER DUR HUR"

Then I remember 'Fuck it, they won't spend half a second thinking about me not saying hello. That half second could go to something actually important'

[Dreamer]

I'm embarrassed to disclose this about myself, as it brings on a ton of shame.

I've been suffering with agoraphobia since I was about 15 (when it started to rear it's ugly head). It started with panic attacks, social phobia, and progressed to what it is today.

Depending on where I'm at with it, I can leave the house to certain "safe places" regularly, or never leave my house at all.

The longest I haven't left my house, I'd say, was about 8 months.

It's extremely debilitating! You burn a lot of bridges along the way, and miss out on the endless experiences and opportunities that life has to offer.

Life pauses at a standstill, and you're imprisoned against the will of your higher self.

I've done the whole exposure therapy route, but usually cave in to a relapse in the end.

A viscous, relentless, monster of a cycle.

[Geminize]

A viscous, relentless, monster of a cycle.

@Dreamer: Just being aware of your condition is a step toward changing it. Good luck with that!

I'm in an awkward situation where I have several friends who want to form a band where I would be the lead musician/ singer. Playing music and singing is a joy for me, but I HATE performing. I'm happy to sing and play in informal settings where anyone is welcome to join in. But being the lead in a band with an expectation to perform is pushing my limits WAY beyond my comfort zone. I don't know what I will do yet.

[Kiid]

Mental illness.... Who knows about them. No one was taught about them at school. WHY!?
Cos school is pretty much just propaganda

Umm I have a good friend who has agoraphobia I think she is slowly getting over it. I might be able to get her to come here and talk to you. I personally don't know much about mental illnesses.