Don't know what I should do
04-30-2013, 04:52 AM
Earlier this month I struggled with strong feelings for a (presumably) straight best friend (who doesn't know I'm gay, unless he's figured it out on his own even though I don't give away anything that would say I am except for the fact that I don't talk about girls and dodge the subject of a girlfriend) and I'm hoping for some thoughts on a rather odd situation.
Just to get you up to speed, we clicked the day we met and we've been friends for almost a year now. We went through a bromance stage, and now I can't figure out if we're in a bromance on steroids or if there's something subtle going on, because it's definitely taken a notch up from when we first met. Here's the situation:
So we were at his house a few weeks ago just talking about life and going on about how we're both not really satisfied with life right now, when he said 3 things that stuck out in my mind. Now keep in mind that these things were mentioned at different points in the convo and it's not like he listed them back to back, because that would be very strange. Anyway he said: 1. "If I was gay I'd be gay for you", 2. "I would take your word over my girlfriend's", and 3. "We're going to move in together" (in the near future). All of these were said in a serious tone and I could tell he wasn't trying to be funny. I thought that #1 was strange because the subject of anything "gay" is something we've never talked about so I don't really know where he stands on it and he doesn't know where I do either. #2 was strange because he does have a girlfriend and tells me that he thinks she's the one, but then why take my word over hers. And #3 we've never really talked about our future as if we were planning on it together. I decided to look up houses on my phone where we want to live, and I was sitting on the floor against the couch, and he got up and laid down on the couch and put his head & the pillow pretty much right where mine was. Add this to the fact the we put <3's in txts, call each other "male boo" (from the bromance video), and do a quick hug every time we part, I'm just so confused. Are there signals that I should be picking up on? Or am I just over thinking and misinterpreting this whole situation, and in reality we're just really close friends? Based on the way he acts and how he is personally, I'm pretty sure I'm the only one he's said this stuff to. My thing is, he's planning on graduating early and enlisting in the Marines, which gives him roughly a year that he'll still be here. I'm not sure if I should just come out to him (but not yet tell him my feelings for him) and risk ending the friendship, or just leave it be and not say anything. As of now I'm only out to two very close friends who are both girls. Any and all thoughts are appreciated.
Just to get you up to speed, we clicked the day we met and we've been friends for almost a year now. We went through a bromance stage, and now I can't figure out if we're in a bromance on steroids or if there's something subtle going on, because it's definitely taken a notch up from when we first met. Here's the situation:
So we were at his house a few weeks ago just talking about life and going on about how we're both not really satisfied with life right now, when he said 3 things that stuck out in my mind. Now keep in mind that these things were mentioned at different points in the convo and it's not like he listed them back to back, because that would be very strange. Anyway he said: 1. "If I was gay I'd be gay for you", 2. "I would take your word over my girlfriend's", and 3. "We're going to move in together" (in the near future). All of these were said in a serious tone and I could tell he wasn't trying to be funny. I thought that #1 was strange because the subject of anything "gay" is something we've never talked about so I don't really know where he stands on it and he doesn't know where I do either. #2 was strange because he does have a girlfriend and tells me that he thinks she's the one, but then why take my word over hers. And #3 we've never really talked about our future as if we were planning on it together. I decided to look up houses on my phone where we want to live, and I was sitting on the floor against the couch, and he got up and laid down on the couch and put his head & the pillow pretty much right where mine was. Add this to the fact the we put <3's in txts, call each other "male boo" (from the bromance video), and do a quick hug every time we part, I'm just so confused. Are there signals that I should be picking up on? Or am I just over thinking and misinterpreting this whole situation, and in reality we're just really close friends? Based on the way he acts and how he is personally, I'm pretty sure I'm the only one he's said this stuff to. My thing is, he's planning on graduating early and enlisting in the Marines, which gives him roughly a year that he'll still be here. I'm not sure if I should just come out to him (but not yet tell him my feelings for him) and risk ending the friendship, or just leave it be and not say anything. As of now I'm only out to two very close friends who are both girls. Any and all thoughts are appreciated.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
This is something that I've given/am giving a lot of thought, so I'm not jumping to make a decision until I'm confident with what I decide. I'm really glad that all of you have brought me back to reality because I tend to get caught up in wishful thinking. And believe me I would never do anything to end his current relationship or hurt him in anyway, because (not trying to sound too self absorbed) I truly am considerate of others and would do anything and completely go out of my way to ensure the happiness of my friends. It's just one of those situations where I've never this way about anyone else and even though I spend so much time thinking of the "what if's" and just coming out with it, the last thing I want is for it to ruin what we've built. I know that I need to move on with my feelings, but at the same time the constant stuff I mentioned in the original post make me yearn for a true relationship; and on the flipside of that, I don't want to just end the friendship in order to move on because I see that as being extremely selfish and I'm not that kind of person.
