What to Do
06-24-2013, 08:35 PM
Here's my story, maybe it can help.
I'm 34, I'm a Drill Sergeant at Ft Benning GA, and I have been an Infantryman in the United States Army for 12 years.
I spent most of my life pursuing women, and occasionally seeing men on the side. The first guy I was with was a guy who lived in my bldg when I was 21. It was very confusing for me, I couldn't understand why it had happened, or what was going on in my head. After about a year of soul searching I decided I was a guy who would occaisonally enjoy playing with other guys.
That was where my head was for years, until I met a guy in Germany that I fell for, not just for sex, but I wanted to be with him. It didn't work out, but I had been with a couple guys to this point so I started to think of myself as Bi.
So for years I thought of myself as Bi. Fast forward to November if last year. I met a man in Atlanta and just fell head over heels for him. I spent a lot of time with him, and he's one of the keys to my discovering who I really am. I also met a man In El Paso who helped me a lot to.
What all this verbiage comes down to is that in the last six months I've become comfortable and confident in who I am, I'm a gay man.
Now that I know who I am, I can date and look and find what I want, which I've been doing.
I use the gay dating apps a lot, a lot of people don't like them and I certainly can understand that, but I've had good sucess.
If you are uncomfortable about your first meeting with someone, make it in a public place, talk, and go from there. Small steps brother.
Richard
I'm 34, I'm a Drill Sergeant at Ft Benning GA, and I have been an Infantryman in the United States Army for 12 years.
I spent most of my life pursuing women, and occasionally seeing men on the side. The first guy I was with was a guy who lived in my bldg when I was 21. It was very confusing for me, I couldn't understand why it had happened, or what was going on in my head. After about a year of soul searching I decided I was a guy who would occaisonally enjoy playing with other guys.
That was where my head was for years, until I met a guy in Germany that I fell for, not just for sex, but I wanted to be with him. It didn't work out, but I had been with a couple guys to this point so I started to think of myself as Bi.
So for years I thought of myself as Bi. Fast forward to November if last year. I met a man in Atlanta and just fell head over heels for him. I spent a lot of time with him, and he's one of the keys to my discovering who I really am. I also met a man In El Paso who helped me a lot to.
What all this verbiage comes down to is that in the last six months I've become comfortable and confident in who I am, I'm a gay man.
Now that I know who I am, I can date and look and find what I want, which I've been doing.
I use the gay dating apps a lot, a lot of people don't like them and I certainly can understand that, but I've had good sucess.
If you are uncomfortable about your first meeting with someone, make it in a public place, talk, and go from there. Small steps brother.
Richard
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
to GaySpeak. It can take a while before you can fully admit to yourself that you are gay, and sometimes the sheer lack of experience with a same sex partner makes it difficult to cross the line. It seems to me, and probably others will have said the same thing, that you need to try and have some of that experience, even if it means putting yourself out there. Some may already have suggested joining a gay advice and help group, rather than going out to a gay bar or pub. That way you get a chance to meet other likeminded people before you throw yourself into the throng. Going to gay venues, like bars or pubs or nightclubs can be helpful too, if you feel confident enough, but they can often be disappointing for those who are seeking a long term relationship. I'm not saying they don't happen, I'm saying they tend to be just hookups, but that's one way of getting some experience. You'd better be sure, at some point, that you do enjoy sex with another guy, hadn't you? Otherwise it's all about meeting the right person, and connecting. Crushes tend to be rather solitary things, so they are a bit pointless in the end, and make you feel lonely. Take your courage in both hands and embrace who you want to be. Good luck.
Coffee
