Am I a total top?

[BathEd]

I suspect there is no easy answer to this but I'd appreciate any advice. I'd consider myself almost 100% top, I've only tried bottoming a handful of times and all with my current boyfriend. I only enjoyed the experience once, when I had quite a bit to drink.

My boyfriend usually prefers to bottom and even if we play together with another guy almost always chooses for me and the other guy to top him.Before that my previous boyfriend was only interestedin bottoming with me, and I'd never felt nearly comfortable enough to even try bottoming with a hookup because to me it needs a whole other level of trust.

Sometimes I think I'm missing out on an experience or that my boyfriend is (he did really like it when he tried topping me) but when I've got really horny and tried it hasn't been a nice experience.

Any thoughts?

[Nick9]

I am not sure what the problem is - if you don't like it physically (that it hurts for example) or mentally (that you are not in charge).
I am not sure if you miss something physically. But I dare guess that from a mental point of view it could make your relationship (or sex) more interesting and intimate.
What about encouraging him to be more dominant in the bed for a while? And to build that trust you mentioned?

[BathEd]

Thanks, it's not a problem for us but I thought I'd get a few more opinions as I feel perhaps going out of my comfort zone might be a good thing to do.

It's not that I don't trust my boyfriend, I do totally, it's just that it has been uncomfortable or painful for me and totally killed off any horniness. Sometimes i like the idea of bottoming though generally the idea of topping turns me on more.

[Nick9]

I think that trusting someone and trusting him in bed can be two different things Some people say sex happens in your head. Maybe the feeling of uncomfortableness can have its roots there.
Just an idea. I hope other people will give you theirs

[MisterTinkles]

Im 99.99% top....only cause I tried bottoming twice in my life and hated it.

Dont mind stuff coming out down there, but absolutely dont want anything going IN!!!!

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Physically you feel this.

What do you feel emotionally?

That is a question you need to ask yourself.

There is a correlation between dominate and submissive personalities tied into the roles in bed (top/bottom) the majority (by no means all) tops tend to be more dominate in and out of bed, while the majority (again by no means all) bottoms tend to be more passive/submissive in and out of bed.

While individuals are mixed, the reality is that our role in bed, our preference to be penetrated or penetrating ties in to our personality.

http://www.examiner.com/article/from-top...y-male-sex may explain this a bit better.

There is a lot more emotions that are coming into play during the sex act, and like it or not those emotions are deeply tied to the fact that we are a species of two genders. Thus yes a bottom will feel more like a woman and a top will feel more like a man - thus we fall back to the gender roles in who does what in bed and even out of bed.

http://www.queerty.com/study-top-or-bott...-20130409/ is pretty suggestive as well. It dares to say that one can be clearly seen to be a bottom over a top, as much as a man as seen as being a man and a woman is seen as being clearly a woman in mixed gendered relationships.

And here is the link to the full article that was linked to in the first link above. http://www.scientificamerican.com/articl...-sex-roles

The whole 'Top/Bottom' question is far more complex than just what you like to do in bed - it has a lot more to do with why it is you prefer to insert or be inserted and the plethora of other deeper emotions that come in play beyond the mere momentary pleasure of the sex act.

Ultimately it is a question you have to answer for yourself. BTW, there is no wrong answer or right one.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Im 99.99% top....only cause I tried bottoming twice in my life and hated it.

Dont mind stuff coming out down there, but absolutely dont want anything going IN!!!!

There is a dearth of tops on the market and you keep yourself out of the market for some selfish reason? Shame on you Sir, as one of the few tops in the world it is your duty to go out there and be reachable by the plethora of bottoms desperately seeking a top.

[MisterTinkles]

Wasnt that a Madonna movie????

Desperately seeking tops?




And I aint keeping myself from any bottoms.
They all want big bear sugar daddies.
Im not anywhere in the vicinity of "big bear sugar daddy".
Hell, Im looking for one of those myself!!!!

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I want a daddy I can cover in sugar, then lick the sugar off... Would that work?

:tongue:

[ToddYoung]

I can relate to the whole not wanting to bottom thing. When I was young and naive (and I mean naive) I thought it was something I had to do, like it was part of being gay, and if I picked up a guy I was going to be fucked.

I didn't want that, so I was wary, and as things turned out, I've only ever bottomed four or five times. And the only time I enjoyed it was with a boyfriend I really loved.

But it's painful for me, yet even if it wasn't, it's not something I want to do. I really want to be on top.

I know most gay guys fantasise about cocks, but I'm not even interested in them. What turns me on aside from a guy's face is a nice ass. Nice thighs. A nice chest. Penises? Hell, I couldn't care less.