When do u come out

[oneofcuriousity]

Okay I want to come out to my parents, but I don't know how or when.
I've came out to my close friends (there's 8 of them) and after I told one of the guys and one of the girls it was easy telling the rest. There all very supportive and tell me that my parents will except me and. I know it. But I'm afraid.
I had a plan to wait until I met a guy in college, but I don't know if this is fair on them.
I have also tried to start the conversation but I lose my voice.
Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

[Dan1980]

When I told my parents I sat them down and told them I am gay. There was a lot of crying and mum hugged me and said that your my son and I will always love you.

[Kenny221]

Oh my god I'm going through the same thig right now but with my
Sisters ... I told them and things went wrong so fast...

[Ekwarph]

Okay I want to come out to my parents, but I don't know how or when.
I've came out to my close friends (there's 8 of them) and after I told one of the guys and one of the girls it was easy telling the rest. There all very supportive and tell me that my parents will except me and. I know it. But I'm afraid.
I had a plan to wait until I met a guy in college, but I don't know if this is fair on them.
I have also tried to start the conversation but I lose my voice.
Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

LOL
Story of my life also !
But I think now, what's the interest to tell them if I'm not even in a serious relationship with another man? I don't know if I find excuses to avoid to tell my parents I'm gay, I'm not even afraid of their reaction, but I think it's something personnal, for the moment...

I think you should wonder why you want to tell your parents about your homosexuality.

[oneofcuriousity]

I want to tell them because I use to tell them everything, this is the first time I ever decide to wait, avoid telling them. I tell them if it just croses my mind.
But in this situation its too hard to do

[Dan1980]

It took me a whole year to tell my parents.

[OrphanPip]

There's no ready answer to the question of when someone should come out. So much depends on where you are at in your life and what kind of people your parents are.

I avoided the headache since my brother went and told my parents.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

There is no hard and fast rule for when you should come out, or indeed who you should come out to.

The important thing is that if you are living at home (I assume you are at 18) then you need to be sure that they will be supportive. Ive heard too many horror stories of younger guys (and girls) whose parents have an extremely negative reaction, so much so the person can be made to leave home and all financial support cut off.

If thats NOT you, then go for it and I wish you every success. If there is even an off chance of a negative reaction, then I would be inclined to hold fire until you feel the time is right.

Good Luck,
ObW
X

[Woollyhats]

I'm going through the same thing. For me, it's the right time, but my family has been through hell in the past year, I almost feel guilty to add on to the stress. The plan is for the end of this month though... I'm super nervous, but I want to tell my mom, and then the rest of the friends I haven't told.

As for the "When", if you are in danger, NO NOT TELL. Establish financial stability, through job, welfare, community housing, etc. When I lived with my father, I lived in an abusive environment and couldn't tell anyone (I would have become homeless, or sent to a boarding school). Some of the residual nervousness from living in that environment has stayed with me (which is actually why I'm here, to get used to interacting in a forum where I can be and get used to myself), but so has the "I'm a planner" attitude that it gave me.

Examine whether you're safe or not. Are your parents vehemently opposed to LGB people? If so, you're in a possible dangerous situation, and need to become secure. If they are neutral or supportive however, why not tell them? It's scary, but I think worth it.

For me personally, I am telling my mom because I love her, and I want her to know before the rest of the world. She deserves it for always having been open and kind of LGB persons. Think about why you'd want to tell your parents, if they're similar.

You might also want to write down what you're going to say, and practice it in the mirror before saying it, that way you'll be less likely to lose your voice. Not telling you if that's what I'm doing or not .

Good luck .

[Bowyn Aerrow]

We have nothing to fear but fear itself...

Unless your parents have a history of being abusive or not being of sound mind, or being wholly right wing about 'stuff' politically and socially, any time you choose to talk to them will work.

I suspect your mom is going to say something like 'Well honey, I knew that....' Dad may at first take to denial, because he had plans for you the day you were born, and those did not include another guy... but he will come around.

This is about the typical reactions of parents to gay children. Mom always seems to know and dad drags his feet.

Previous decades it was more troublesome, but today Gay is in the media, sits on the tongues of people and everyone is talking about gay rights, gay marriage and all of that and it looks very promising for our future, thus your parents are partially brainwashed now to accept homosexuality, which makes their acceptance of it in their own offspring more acceptable.

FYI - I came out when I was 24, after I met a really good guy and discovered that I was gay. Understand back then I was so far in the closet I thought my disinterest in sex with the fair-sex was natural celibacy... Almost became a Friar and dedicate my whole life to Celibacy, Poverty and Obedience THAT is how far in the closet I was.