Am I wasting my life?

[James]

Trying to tuck away enough money for when your unable to work is a big issue for us folks who are uh, a little older? When the economy took a dump I had to borrow against my 401 and am still paying that back with interest, but all goes back into my 401. Raising a kid is not cheap, but if you want to mentor a kid and raise him other options are foster care and centers for abused children which usually are looking for people to help them. At this point in my life I only have one I mentor and as I work ten hours a day and help on the suicide prevention hot line in my spare time.
I also don't like to discuss finances because it makes me face my own mortality, as I am also paying for my final resting place as to not be a burden on anyone who out lives me, James

[princealbertofb]

This is an interesting thread, Jaustralia, and I must say your predicament is not an unusual one, nor a particularly easy one to answer. Good advice has already been given. The fact that you want children and that he can't consider it for the moment is worrying, because as a man from an older generation, he probably never even dreamt that this would be possible one day.
Your generation is one that will probably be looking to having a family with kids, just like your parents, because it's something that the gay and lesbian community has now made clear to the rest of the world. The fact remains that two men can't have babies without it being an extra set of complications.
Have you thought out how you two would have the babies? Surrogate mother? Ask a woman friend? Adoption? If it's going to be from your own sperm? Who gets to donate the sperm? Are you going to have to do this with a foreign agency or do you live in a part of the world where this is possible legally? All of this will incur extra expenses, so I can understand where your partner is coming from.
Maybe he just never envisaged that you and he would have a family to bring up some day. His mindset has probably remained that of those who came out one generation earlier.
Gays of yesteryear had to found their own families, often, choosing them from friends and acquaintances, their own families having often disowned them, or not wanted to have anything to do with them.
So what are your relations with your own family (father, mother, siblings) and what are your and his relationship to his family (father, mother and siblings)? The whole thing needs to be discussed in the light of you being one branch off the family trees, one that maybe produce ramifications some day. For most older gays, having kids is an idea that we had to give up on, unless we'd got married before realising what we'd got ourselves into, like my partner.
Having kids the regular way, is, by far, the easiest way to do it, but, it's not really an option for you, in your situation without it being considered as "cheating", if you go down that road (which I don't think you'd do, for some reason).
All I can think of for now.
Take care.