Again, I repeat: people live different lifestyles than you. They aren't forcing those lifestyles on you. That's their own fucking business. If you don't want to participate, then don't. It's that simple. You still aren't any better than they are. You just have different beliefs. That's all it is: a belief. If it works for you, then great. Don't force it on other people though.
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VileKyle Wrote:Again, I repeat: people live different lifestyles than you. They aren't forcing those lifestyles on you. That's their own fucking business. If you don't want to participate, then don't. It's that simple. You still aren't any better than they are. You just have different beliefs. That's all it is: a belief. If it works for you, then great. Don't force it on other people though.
who said I was forcing it on other people? I think you are reading way too much into what Im saying. I am just stating my opinion and what I think of certain situations. I cant force them to change nor I would force them to change even if I could. I still have a right to have an opinion on the matter though.
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Your logic seriously confuses me. The reason I don't go out and rob people is simply that I don't wish to harm anyone. You can't compare the self-restriction to avoid responsible, consensual promiscuity and the self-restriction to avoid committing a crime because they are two very different things; one involves victims, the other one doesn't.
Self-restraint is important in some cases, yeah, if an excessive amounts of an act would harm anyone. It's good to show self-restraint when it comes to eating unhealthy things for example. However, like I said, if a person is responsible and protected during the promiscuity and has himself regularly checked, STD's are unlikely to ever occur and reach a severe state. In other words, when done right there are either no, or very limited consequences. Thus there's absolutely no virtue in showing sexual restraint. Obviously it's alright for you to not hook up with someone who's had an insane amount of sexual partners in the past: that's your decision.
Also, this is pretty much irrelevant but since you replied I might as well clarify. The reason I'd condone an open relationship under my own rules is because I can sympathize with my hypothetical partners. I personally don't mind sleeping with the same person for a very long amount of time but I can see why some of them would want to spice things up with something new. I'm not afraid of my partners getting physically pleasured by other people if that's what they want, I'm just afraid of romantic/emotional bonding. And of course you're right that it's a potential recipe for heartache but I guess if such a thing happened they weren't right for me to begin with. I can't stand people who proclaim they'll do one thing then go ahead to do something else entirely. Now, I know that in your world this kind of thinking is insane. I don't mind at all! All I ask is that you don't make assumptions regarding my self-respect and personality.
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KawaiiKitty Wrote:who said I was forcing it on other people? I think you are reading way too much into what Im saying. I am just stating my opinion and what I think of certain situations. I cant force them to change nor I would force them to change even if I could. I still have a right to have an opinion on the matter though.
Maybe not, but you sure are going out of your way to call people terrible for their choices that have absolutely no affect on you or anyone else. Being promiscuous does not make them worse than you. You are acting like they are way out of line for doing so. They are only different than you. That's all. Don't date someone like that if you so choose, but don't act like they are lesser human beings. That's very elitist.
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SolemnBoy Wrote:Your logic seriously confuses me. The reason I don't go out and rob people is simply that I don't wish to harm anyone. You can't compare the self-restriction to avoid responsible, consensual promiscuity and the self-restriction to avoid committing a crime because they are two very different things; one involves victims, the other one doesn't.
Self-restraint is important in some cases, yeah, if an excessive amounts of an act would harm anyone. It's good to show self-restraint when it comes to eating unhealthy things for example. However, like I said, if a person is responsible and protected during the promiscuity and has himself regularly checked, STD's are unlikely to ever occur and reach a severe state. In other words, when done right there are either no, or very limited consequences. Thus there's absolutely no virtue in showing sexual restraint. Obviously it's alright for you to not hook up with someone who's had an insane amount of sexual partners in the past: that's your decision.
Also, this is pretty much irrelevant but since you replied I might as well clarify. The reason I'd condone an open relationship under my own rules is because I can sympathize with my hypothetical partners. I personally don't mind sleeping with the same person for a very long amount of time but I can see why some of them would want to spice things up with something new. I'm not afraid of my partners getting physically pleasured by other people if that's what they want, I'm just afraid of romantic/emotional bonding. And of course you're right that it's a potential recipe for heartache but I guess if such a thing happened they weren't right for me to begin with. I can't stand people who proclaim they'll do one thing then go ahead to do something else entirely. Now, I know that in your world this kind of thinking is insane. I don't mind at all! All I ask is that you don't make assumptions regarding my self-respect and personality.
Its really not an assumption to say that someone has little self respect if they willingly allow their partner to fool around outside of their relationship. It really screams of desperation honestly. I mean how desperate does a person have to be to try and keep another person in a relationship that they clearly don't want to be in exclusively to the point that they would let the other person fool around with other people? I mean its pretty clear cut. Either you want to be in a relationship with someone or you dont. I really dont buy that its for "spicing up the relationship" either. There are tons of other ways of spicing up a relationship with out resorting to that.
If that sounds elitist or judgemental its not supposed to be, its meant to be more matter of fact.
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VileKyle Wrote:Maybe not, but you sure are going out of your way to call people terrible for their choices that have absolutely no affect on you or anyone else. Being promiscuous does not make them worse than you. You are acting like they are way out of line for doing so. They are only different than you. That's all. Don't date someone like that if you so choose, but don't act like they are lesser human beings. That's very elitist.
Arent I entitled to think of people what I think of them? lol Again its just my opinion. It seems like you are trying to tell me Im wrong for having an opinon.
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KawaiiKitty Wrote:Arent I entitled to think of people what I think of them? lol Again its just my opinion. It seems like you are trying to tell me Im wrong for having an opinon.
I never once said that any opinion, yours or any other, was wrong. What is wrong is treating people like inferiors, which is what you are doing. A belief is fine to have. Using that belief against others is different. Try to read my exact words instead of inserting your own.
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VileKyle Wrote:I never once said that any opinion, yours or any other, was wrong. What is wrong is treating people like inferiors, which is what you are doing. A belief is fine to have. Using that belief against others is different. Try to read my exact words instead of inserting your own.
Yet we do that very thing ALL the time. Do you associate with drug dealers or gang leaders? If you dont then doesnt that make you guilty of the same thing?
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"Its really not an assumption to say that someone has little self respect if they willingly allow their partner to fool around outside of their relationship. It really screams of desperation honestly. I mean how desperate does a person have to be to try and keep another person in a relationship that they clearly don't want to be in exclusively to the point that they would let the other person fool around with other people?"
Well clearly that is an assumption. If not, then it's something you actually have evidence for. In other words all of that applies to me. Let me get it straight that I'm neither desperate nor lacking in self-respect. I just happen to have a pretty liberal and openminded view on sex. You claiming that such an outlook means I'm desperate and or lacking in self-respect is about as much an assumption and judgemental thing to say as if I'd claim you were prude and old-fashioned for not being promiscuous. Luckily, I don't resort to shallow presumptions as such because I'm well aware that I
1. Don't know you.
2. Have absolutely no right to generalize.
Can you please just realize that your view on sex isn't the right one because there's no such thing. You may think that I'm doing the same thing I criticize you for doing, but you'd be wrong. You're making strange remarks that basically reduce my personality to a state of desperation and non-existant self-respect whereas I'm saying "Just respect people regardless of what they do as long as nobody's harmed". The way people present biased and unfounded statements as "facts" really ticks me off. It's purely semantic but you either have no idea what "fact" means or you're abusing the word.
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SolemnBoy Wrote:"Its really not an assumption to say that someone has little self respect if they willingly allow their partner to fool around outside of their relationship. It really screams of desperation honestly. I mean how desperate does a person have to be to try and keep another person in a relationship that they clearly don't want to be in exclusively to the point that they would let the other person fool around with other people?"
Well clearly that is an assumption. If not, then it's something you actually have evidence for. In other words all of that applies to me. Let me get it straight that I'm neither desperate nor lacking in self-respect. I just happen to have a pretty liberal and openminded view on sex. You claiming that such an outlook means I'm desperate and or lacking in self-respect is about as much an assumption and judgemental thing to say as if I'd claim you were prude and old-fashioned for not being promiscuous. Luckily, I don't resort to shallow presumptions as such because I'm well aware that I
1. Don't know you.
2. Have absolutely no right to generalize.
Can you please just realize that your view on sex isn't the right one because there's no such thing. You may think that I'm doing the same thing I criticize you for doing, but you'd be wrong. You're making strange remarks that basically reduce my personality to a state of desperation and non-existant self-respect whereas I'm saying "Just respect people regardless of what they do as long as nobody's harmed". The way people present biased and unfounded statements as "facts" really ticks me off. It's purely semantic but you either have no idea what "fact" means or you're abusing the word.
Regardless of your supposed liberal views on sex, I really cant believe/fathom that ANYONE would be happy to know that their partner, the person that is the love of their life and the person they want to spend the rest of their lives with, is out shagging another dude just because they want to. I literally refuse to believe it. I dont believe anyone could be happy in a situation like that. Like I said it reeks of desperation to keep someone in your life no matter the cost.
Whether you want to admit that is true or not is up to you. Real love doesnt work that way. You shouldnt have to give away any part of your partner(whether it be physical or emotion or whatever) just so that it would make them stay in the relationship. There are alot of things people compromise on in a relationship. I think a good relationship is built on compromise and understanding, but that isnt one anyone should have to compromise on. It shows a complete lack of respect for you for a partner to even ask to do something like that and a complete lack of self respect for even considering allowing them to do it.
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