Feminism and hatred towards feminism

[SolemnBoy]

Well, exactly. YOU can't fathom how anyone could be happy like that, YOU refuse to believe it and for YOU real love doesn't work that way. It would never be a matter of trying to make someone stay. If I was given an ultimatum of "If you don't let me sleep with other people I'm leaving you" I'd tell the guy to just go ahead and leave. But communication is important and it's of vital importance that you discuss your sexual needs/desires with each other. There are also different kinds of sex; the type done passionately with the one you love and the type whose sole purpose is to give and receive pleasure.

When I said I'd probably condone an open relationship, I didn't mean I'd go ahead and tell my partner "Oh yeah just go fuck around if that's what you want". A decision as such would only be made after plenty of communication, openness, discussion and rule-making. I'm neither disrespecting myself nor being desperate and it's dangerous to associate a certain behaviour with only one possible explanation. Here are a few other examples as to why anyone would go through with an open relationship.

1. Partner 2 wants an open relationship and partner 1 accepts because he's afraid of losing his love. Desperation.
2. Partner 1 and partner 2 have been together for a long time. They still love each other but none of them like the thought of sleeping with the same person only until they die. They decide to give each other permission to have sex with others.
3. Partner 1 and partner 2 both believe in separating love and sex. Both have high sex-drives. Thus, they have sex not only with each other but also other people. Of course they made this decision together.

Now this is my last post in this thread. Hopefully you'll be able to one day drop the conviction that your personal views on sex are the best. The fact that I might be in an open relationship in the future does not mean that I'm desperate, disrespectful to myself or less capable of feeling the same intensity in love as you are. I cannot stretch this enough.

[Ryocchi]

Rape is rape, regardless of gender/race/social status. if the other person says no you have to stop you can get annoyed and a get a case of blue balls/ovaries, so if you just want sex next time date someone different but under no circumstance you have a right to continue if the other person doesn't want to anymore, even if prior he/she had been consenting, the moment he/she refuses it turns into rape.

That's my point of view into the original post by SolemnBoy.

[VileKyle]

Yet we do that very thing ALL the time. Do you associate with drug dealers or gang leaders? If you dont then doesnt that make you guilty of the same thing?

That has nothing to do with this conversation. I think you have no idea what you are talking about. Stop grasping at straws to try to prove your point here. The point is that you are treating others as inferiors, not that you don't wish to associate yourself with certain people. That is wrong no matter how you attempt to spin things around. Keep your opinions, but don't take those opinions out on others. And stop basing your actions around promiscuous people on their sex life. If you are not involved with their sex life, it does not matter. That has absolutely no influence on any other part of their lives.

PS: Why do people tend to fall back to the "it's just my opinion" excuse whenever they have nothing else to say? It's really the wimp's way out of things. Nobody gives a flying fuck what your opinion is, so stop using that as an excuse. The issue is action, not belief.

[Jake]

Regardless of your supposed liberal views on sex

Total lack of respect for someone that just like you is voicing its opinion. If you are going to tell someone that you have an opinion on such and such subject try not to be authoritative that your opinion is the right way to be.

I really can’t believe/fathom that ANYONE would be happy to know that their partner, the person that is the love of their life and the person they want to spend the rest of their lives with, is out shagging another dude just because they want to. I literally refuse to believe it.

Again some really bad assumptions and rebuttal to understand and comply that YOU are not a perfect couple or a model to follow, I am quite certain that other couples that are much more open minded than you are on the subject are living a very happy life, and there’s more people like them than you can ever imagine.

Whether you want to admit that is true or not is up to you. Real love doesnt work that way. You shouldnt have to give away any part of your partner(whether it be physical or emotion or whatever) just so that it would make them stay in the relationship

Who died and made you the model to follow in all relationship in the world, who said that your relationship is the one to follow, if you are happy in your type of relationship and it suit you and your partner Good for you but that doesn’t mean that the person next to you cannot have a different kind of relationship that is not similar to yours and yet they could be more in love than you ever think. Some people really are not that much into exclusivity in their relationship and You buddy have nothing to say about it. If you don’t like the fact that some couples are more liberal than yours, look the other way. Not everyone is jealous and affective dependent.

And what kind of statement is that “whether you want to admit that is true or not”? So you believe that everything you said here and above is the truth and that it’s the only way to be? May I suggest you get out of your ass a little and look around, it takes all kind of people to make a world and there’s some people who sometimes think a little too high of themselves and are blind to see the world that revolves around them.

Real love doesnt work that way.

What is real love? Do you know? What you define as real love seems totally boring to me and “god” trust me you’d be surprise how very fund I am of my husband and yet we are in an open relationship. We have had threesome and at the very beginning he was allowed to a certain extent to have sex with someone else and I guess in your recluse and “old fashion” mind we don’t “really” love each other? Really well; I’m throwing you a challenge and see how really in love you are compared to us who are sinners.

Perhaps it will be very good for you to learn to differentiate LOVE vs SEX. They’re not the same you know and one doesn’t necessarily lead to another. As most sexologists will confirm to you there’s a world of difference between “having sex” and “making love”. I am making love to my husband which doesn’t spare me from having sex with another dude and the same is viable for him. Yes we are this kind of “open” couple and trust me I’m quite certain I could compare my relationship with yours and I can guarantee you that you’ll find two guys much more relax and much more into one another than you could even be with your partner.

Everything isn’t black and white in a relationship and you can’t base the success of one relationship based on yours… because frankly reading through your posts and analyzing your speeches I can tell you in a jiffy that I do not envy your relationship not even a second. The very day your man leaves you or you leave him you’ll be that very pitiful little man walking head down wondering why all happened to you. Because reading your reply it really seems to me that it’s quite always about you… you have a hard time to put yourself into other’s shoes, but why would you, it seems that you way is the best way. When reality will slap you in the face for real you’ll take a massive drop from your podium.

I have went through most of your posts on the subject and let me tell you CutieKitty I find your arguments very flawed and very close-minded and although you claim that those are just your opinions this is not the way you want them to be perceived. If you are going to be on a support site and pretend that you can help someone else figure out their problems may I suggest you detach yourself a bit from it. It’s fine to say I do not accept such and such behavior in my environment or in my couple but going all your way to tell someone that doesn’t agree how wrong they are, it’s you who is wrong, it’s wrong to believe that they’re only one way, it’s wrong to believe that you have the perfect recipes (there’s many ways to make spaghetti con carne and I don’t believe you way will be better or would taste better than mine).

KawaiiKitty I believe that you should get off your belly button and look around a little (you’re not alone on this board and in the world)... your beliefs and statements doesn’t make the majority. As much as you claim that this is your opinion, the tone you engage in your replies is full of judgment and plain accusation and honestly I feel that you’re so conceit about yourself that it really does ... "Real love" is different for everyone and what you consider to be "real love" isn't real love to me and trust me I have been 8 years with the same dude, have children, houses and all the perks a so-call "straight partner" or real love partners have. I have 6 car standing in my garage one of them is a Maserati, got a huge house and few other houses in my country and around the world and honestly Kawaii I worth few million dollars but yet you don’t see me coming around saying how my life and my views are better than everyone else or that they are wrong to be such and such ways. I'd say you keep your judgment to yourself as your opinion "hidden into" -“I am right and you're not” is just plain insulting to other who are seeking ADVISES not commandments .

And a last word on promiscuity, people live their life the way they want it… they have the right to live their lives without judgements, without prejudice, without being told that they are whore, bitches, and/or stupid. Hey what would you say if I’d say that your choice is very stupid? You’d be pissed… or I guess let’s go to something that looks more like what you replied here… you’d think less of me for being promiscuous even though I lead a very happy life and who knows perhaps I do have more financial means than you do and yet my couple works fine… did your beliefs and rebuttal to fathom that some people have different views and different type of relationships change anything in their daily routine? NO it doesn’t and god knows I could look down to a lot of people and yet I love people enough to learn all about the diversity that forms this world not about one couple that believe theirs is the model to follow. Ask questions do not assume… once I spoke to someone into BDSM and I always wasn’t hot about BDSM… but for me to learn about it I sat with the guy and had a very interesting discussion about the whole fetishes and even participated to a session (as a viewer of course) and is BDSM for me? HELL no but I know what it is and I have far less judgements about it than when I didn’t and calling those into that fetish a “bunch of nut bars”.

Originally Posted by VileKyle
I never once said that any opinion, yours or any other, was wrong. What is wrong is treating people like inferiors, which is what you are doing. A belief is fine to have. Using that belief against others is different. Try to read my exact words instead of inserting your own.

Yet we do that very thing ALL the time. Do you associate with drug dealers or gang leaders? If you dont then doesn’t that make you guilty of the same thing?

May I suggest that you do not go in such comparison… I would be quite surprise that you know anything about drug dealers and gang leaders… stay on course with your Prada bag and Gucci glasses I believe it would be much better for you. Leave those social questions to the professionals. And right now you have just compared tomatoes with guavas.

Honestly KawaiiKitty you might want to open your mind a little more and formulate your advices in a way that it is beneficial for everyone and the op… it’s fine to compare yourself and use your own example as a template, but using your own experience and make it look like it’s the way to follow is totally wrong. And you may come back to me on this but I hope you’re ready for it. Do not tickle a sleeping giant, he may roll over you and squash the life out of you.

[KawaiiKitty]

That has nothing to do with this conversation. I think you have no idea what you are talking about. Stop grasping at straws to try to prove your point here. The point is that you are treating others as inferiors, not that you don't wish to associate yourself with certain people. That is wrong no matter how you attempt to spin things around. Keep your opinions, but don't take those opinions out on others. And stop basing your actions around promiscuous people on their sex life. If you are not involved with their sex life, it does not matter. That has absolutely no influence on any other part of their lives.

PS: Why do people tend to fall back to the "it's just my opinion" excuse whenever they have nothing else to say? It's really the wimp's way out of things. Nobody gives a flying fuck what your opinion is, so stop using that as an excuse. The issue is action, not belief.

It has everything to do with this conversation. You use your belief system to not associate with certain people like drug dealers and gang leaders just like I do with people who are very promiscuous. I dont see how you can say one is right and the other is wrong when its the same exact thing. Seems a might hypocritical at the very least.

[VileKyle]

It has everything to do with this conversation. You use your belief system to not associate with certain people like drug dealers and gang leaders just like I do with people who are very promiscuous. I dont see how you can say one is right and the other is wrong when its the same exact thing. Seems a might hypocritical at the very least.

No, it really doesn't. As Jake said, you are comparing tomatoes with guavas. Gangs and drugs cause blatant harm to society. Promiscuous sex causes nothing but sex and has no outcome on the rest of society, including you. I don't see how you can say what anyone else does under their own roof is wrong just because you wouldn't do it. Is what they are doing harming you in any way? Not at all. Get off your high fucking horse and stop being such a little bitch.

[Jake]

It has everything to do with this conversation. You use your belief system to not associate with certain people like drug dealers and gang leaders just like I do with people who are very promiscuous. I dont see how you can say one is right and the other is wrong when its the same exact thing. Seems a might hypocritical at the very least.

Than I invite you to develop on the subject... don't just throw this in and go ahead develop on the subject and let's see what's your view and you knowledge on it. let's see how your vision on drug leaders and gang leader compare to this... and I hope you have a good rhetoric... not just some crap you find on every tabloid websites or newspapers.

[Sylph]

What I'm curious of is, why does it seem like ya'll are trying to prove something or dissuade one another of something... You gurls do realize your opinions won't change regardless of what you say to one another. This is not a logical debate, but an Opinionated Arguement :/ .

Just thought I'd throw that tid bit of squid up for bid to the lucky kid, who realizes this tid bit a tip

[VileKyle]

What I'm curious of is, why does it seem like ya'll are trying to prove something or dissuade one another of something... You gurls do realize your opinions won't change regardless of what you say to one another. This is not a logical debate, but an Opinionated Arguement :/ .

Just thought I'd throw that tid bit of squid up for bid to the lucky kid, who realizes this tid bit a tip

Love ya, Sylph, but some things need to be sorted out. Persuasion is important when someone's opinions start to be taken out on others. Opinions are not to be changed here; actions caused by those opinions need to be changed. I know that here they are just words, but words are not always harmless. That is the case here. That's also why I take a stance in arguments in other threads. Arguments aren't always a bad thing.

[Jake]

What I'm curious of is, why does it seem like ya'll are trying to prove something or dissuade one another of something... You gurls do realize your opinions won't change regardless of what you say to one another. This is not a logical debate, but an Opinionated Arguement :/ .

Just thought I'd throw that tid bit of squid up for bid to the lucky kid, who realizes this tid bit a tip

As much as I understand what you mean... this isn't logical at all, but a debate stays a debate and I can assure you Sylph that few things that have been discussed here aren't just opinions... but when someone says something, calling others hypocrite for having a difference of opinion that's no longer a debate or an opinion. Yet although you say that opinion won't change anything you're not completely right... someone somewhere will be reading this and base his own decision upon what have been discussed.