Zack Wrote:Whenever people say "I've seen stuff you wouldn't believe" or something to that effect, it just makes me roll my eyes at their attempt to sound more enlightened and tough. It just comes across as a way to inflate their own ego and sound important while slyly putting other people down who haven't gone through or seen what they have, whatever that may be (They pretty much never actually say what it is).
As a survivor of a childhood of Ritual 'Satanic' Abuse, I have seen and been put through things that you have never been through.
Aside from being locked in a closet for an excess of two weeks, on more than one occasion, I was beaten, had my blood cut from me for purposes of ritual magics, raped repeatedly and without mercy to please the 'god' Asmodeus', drugged, forced to take an anthame and bury its blade to the hilt inside the chests of dogs, cats, chickens, a few goats and some other critters. Drank from chalices containing all sorts of stuff. You know, breast milk, semen, blood of other members of the circle.
And all of that is part of what I recall, I recall very little between the ages of 8 and 14 - I guess I should assume that the nightmare and night terrors I get were from loving, happy times with pink ponies and rainbows and not assume that from age 8 to age 14 it got a lot worse than in the years before.
On top of those things, I also got to witness - no experience, the presence of malevolent spirit entities. Demons if you will. Yeah sure some of the time may have been an LSD trip (or whatever else was added to the chalice to ease us kids into the ritual). But some of it was not.
I'm most certain up their in your shielded ivory tower with your mommy and daddy protecting you from the horrors of life that you only had to deal with the monsters in the closet and under your bed. I, not so blessed with sane rational parents, had to face the monsters that reside in every dark corner, and worse, the monsters that reside in the dark corners of the human heart.
Now I have no idea if that makes me superior than you or anyone else on this thread, but I do seriously doubt anyone else on this forum has had these "unique" types of experiences. If they have I empathize with them, and my comment about 'melt your brain' does not, and never will apply to them.
And I still believe that if you witnessed these things first hand that it would drive you stark, raving mad - as I know plenty of other ritual abuse victims who were driven mad, insane - driven to split personalities, driven to self destructive behaviors which only by the Grace of God have I survived to this late age with only one suicide under my belt, and only a minor drug and alcohol addiction which I managed to find a way to get out of 18 years ago.
When I say my personal life experiences are what drives me to a belief in God, I am most sincere about that.
And no, I do not feel welcomed here on this thread. It is been made perfectly clear to me that my kind are not welcomed here.
Just like the Christians you all seemingly enjoy to talk about and bring up thread after thread here on Gayspeak don't like your kind.
Every week a new 'anti-christian/Anti-Theist' thread is started and I bite my tongue and allow you all to go blithely around viewing your opinions on religion.
The only reason why I opened my mouth on this thread was because some witty person had this to say:
Don't bring up anything anti-christian.
dvdbrn will get all butthurt and start accusing you of persecuting him lol
And while its true you all are not burning Christians at the stake (Yet, but I have to wonder how many have a secret desire to), from this side of the issue it hurts every time one of you witty characters have something to say about 'Christianity'.
While faith may not be important to you, there are those who rely on faith to survive yet one more day on this earth. There are those who do take offense and or get hurt each time some anti=christian decides to spout off their views and opinions.
Just as you, a homosexual, hates to have someone call you a faggot, or to point out that gays are promiscuous (Oh yeah, sure let me take the sting out of that and say that some ain't that way) Or HIV infested - oh let me reduce the redness there by pointing out that only 1/5th of the gay population has been tested positive... And all of the other stuff that you take as gays being persecuted hurts, and hurts deeply.
Your words, your antichrstian rhetoric hurts others that come here, others who have a faith and who already struggle to reconcile faith with their homosexuality.
The last thing they need is their 'peers' making it twice as hard and hating on their faith.
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