I dont think I was actually premeditating "saving myself" for anyone but I just felt that I didnt want any old stranger sticking his dick in hole he pleased.
So in that sense my "anal virginity" was saved for the man who i fell in love with and have been together for quite some time.
It took me damn near 10 months to finally "put out" for my partner and im glad i saved myself for this one man.
While i may have been a stereotypical "slut" in my younger days i still held certain qualities and pride within myself.
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It's far too late for any of that, though I waited until I was in a relationship.
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If at 20 I save myself for Mr Right, I can wait years and years for my first time. I'm too young to find Mr Right I think. Well I don't do it with whoever, but I don't wait for someone I expect living with him all my life.
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thisLIFE Wrote:i think someone can turn into mr right though, even though there might not be the one out there.
anyways thats a different talk haha i just thought it would be interesting if someone held out yet knew they were gay. Cause i mean it would be possible... just might be difficult like how would you know?
I find this question confusing. Are you implying that impulse equals action? That is, a person can't really be gay if they're not having gay sex because if they felt gay attraction then they'd be humping their leg like a dog without any self control, or at least find someone they could use people of the same gender as masturbation toys?
The way I see it, if you're attracted only, or at least primarily, to the same sex, then you're gay. Masturbation to it can underscore it, and masturbation is not sex (at least as long as you do it by yourself). So a person can know they're gay without having sex and saving himself or herself.
As for me, no. I'd guess that my thinking I would never live to see 30 plus general curiosity, those I knew growing up, and lack of jealousy/insecurity contributed to my not even considering "saving" myself (just my guess). And once my curiosity was satisfied I became a lot less interested in sex, I'm pretty much demisexual.
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In the last 7 years I have saved myself enough to be a born again virgin.
Sex isn't so important these days, I still thoroughly enjoy it.
I approve of whatever makes a person feel comfortable. I lost my virginity at age 11, no regrets, and not regrets in having more sex 10 times more sex between ages 11 and 25 (I was very promiscuous as a teenager...if it was male, had a pulse, it was rootable  ), then I have had in the last 20 years.
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Pix Wrote:I find this question confusing. Are you implying that impulse equals action? That is, a person can't really be gay if they're not having gay sex because if they felt gay attraction then they'd be humping their leg like a dog without any self control, or at least find someone they could use people of the same gender as masturbation toys?
The way I see it, if you're attracted only, or at least primarily, to the same sex, then you're gay. Masturbation to it can underscore it, and masturbation is not sex (at least as long as you do it by yourself). So a person can know they're gay without having sex and saving himself or herself.
As for me, no. I'd guess that my thinking I would never live to see 30 plus general curiosity, those I knew growing up, and lack of jealousy/insecurity contributed to my not even considering "saving" myself (just my guess). And once my curiosity was satisfied I became a lot less interested in sex, I'm pretty much demisexual
I just ment sexuality is a big thing, and if you waited then your investing alot into a guy if your not even 100 percent on being gay you know? Spec if you held out for a serious relationship / married. Guess there is a little ambiguity in saving yourself lol...
i didnt really save myself either but it kind of worked out with who it was, deff should be with someone you actually care about tho it makes it actually mean something
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Varanus Wrote:I dont think I was actually premeditating "saving myself" for anyone but I just felt that I didnt want any old stranger sticking his dick in hole he pleased.
So in that sense my "anal virginity" was saved for the man who i fell in love with and have been together for quite some time.
It took me damn near 10 months to finally "put out" for my partner and im glad i saved myself for this one man.
While i may have been a stereotypical "slut" in my younger days i still held certain qualities and pride within myself.
totally didnt think of it as in perspective of topping vs receiving...
I wonder which means more, it means alot to let someone "in"
hehe....
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Mmmh yep I believed in that for many years. I always thought I could be able to find someone in a "natural" way instead of using internet hookup sites etc. But that kinda led me to a painful row of onesided loves, hoping for the other person to realize my feelings. Once I realized or started to believe that only some people really experience that kind of scenario I basically tried hooking up through the net which seemed like the only possible way to ever find someone. I had one "date" which I afterwards regretted up till now :| .. Buuut yeah, depending on the definiton of virginity I lost it to my first boyfriend, so I'm quite satisfied xD
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This is an interesting thread because I believe it is a good topic to discuss.
When I was younger, I never planned on saving myself for anyone. I did not even realize I was gay until I went to college and discovered gay porn existed. I did fool around with a handful of people in my college years experimenting. What I was really looking for was love, when all I was getting was sex. Which lowered my self esteem. I do not regret what I did, but I think saving yourself for the right moment is key. I do not think you should wait for a prince charming to come along, but your first time should be with someone you like and are comfortable being around. Notice I did not use the word love, you do not have to love someone to be prepared for your first sexual experience. Just make sure that you know what your getting into and that both parties have a mutual feeling about it.
Right now, I am going through a break up that I have had a hard time with, and the last thing I want to do is get into the sex scene anytime soon. I believe that I am saving myself now for someone else for the first time in my life. Random sex can be fun, but can also be meaningless. What I love the most about sex is the intimacy. If there is none, than sex for me can be really boring and sad. Everyone is different but I have learned this is what sex is for me. It is being intimate with another person that you like or love.
All that being said, I m probably going to miss a lot of good sex during my prime years, but hey that just means I get to keep my good looks all to myself 
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darkenedshadow Wrote:This is an interesting thread because I believe it is a good topic to discuss.
When I was younger, I never planned on saving myself for anyone. I did not even realize I was gay until I went to college and discovered gay porn existed. I did fool around with a handful of people in my college years experimenting. What I was really looking for was love, when all I was getting was sex. Which lowered my self esteem. I do not regret what I did, but I think saving yourself for the right moment is key. I do not think you should wait for a prince charming to come along, but your first time should be with someone you like and are comfortable being around. Notice I did not use the word love, you do not have to love someone to be prepared for your first sexual experience. Just make sure that you know what your getting into and that both parties have a mutual feeling about it.
Right now, I am going through a break up that I have had a hard time with, and the last thing I want to do is get into the sex scene anytime soon. I believe that I am saving myself now for someone else for the first time in my life. Random sex can be fun, but can also be meaningless. What I love the most about sex is the intimacy. If there is none, than sex for me can be really boring and sad. Everyone is different but I have learned this is what sex is for me. It is being intimate with another person that you like or love.
All that being said, I m probably going to miss a lot of good sex during my prime years, but hey that just means I get to keep my good looks all to myself
Thanks for sharing this. This is something I think about every so often. If I really wanted too, it would be easy to just go out and have sex with some random guy, but a lot harder to get into a relationship ( which is what I want). I know I would find just plain sex personally dissatisfying, but always wonder if I'm just being silly. Your post about going through the experience and discovering for yourself that the intimacy is what matters for you is great because of that.
I also agree that I won't necessarily wait for "Prince charming", but I will wait for an actual relationship so as to not make the experience feel meaningless. Great post, thank you! It's something I've thought about, and this helped me! 
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